The Mugato's Blog

Star Trek TOS: Episode 49 - RETURN TO TOMORROW

2012-01-29T19:38:00.000-05:00

"Telepathic aliens take control of Kirk and Spock's bodies with the intention to build new, mechanized bodies for themselves."

This is the one in which Kirk encounters Sargon, the glowing crystal ball. There are also a few other globes ... they belong to Dr. Ann Mulhall. That was actually a joke. Whatever. At first these entities forcably take control of the crews bodies. But, Kirk senses that they mean well and he "offers up" their bodies for the entities to use. They will then build robot bodies and transfer themselves into those. What a very un-Kirk decision.

Spock claims that these entities have travelled the galaxy forever, making new civilizations. He thinks it may explain some Vulcan history and even Adam and Eve. But it doesn't seem to explain Adam and Steve.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 50 down 30 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 48 - A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR

2012-01-26T09:22:00.001-05:00

Many people assume that this is me attacking Kirk, but it’s actually my brother. His name is Mugato, but unlike MY name which is pronounced Mugato … his name is pronounced Mugato. Understand? Also, I’m always hearing how “all Mugato’s look the same”, we’ll this is untrue. Anybody can see the difference between the two of us!

My brother

There are many different elements to this episode. How they managed to squeeze it all into 50 minutes is pretty impressive. First we have the whole “incident with my brother”. Kirk, Spock and McCoy beam down to my planet. Kirk had been here years earlier and made friends with Tyree. Honestly I find this guy to be a big pussy, but damn his wife is hot (although not so much the face … also she’s a witch!). Note: the woman that plays the wife, graduated from Michigan at the age of 19. Suddenly my brother attacks Kirk and bites him. One thing you must understand about him is that he’s a bit slow. One time he jumped through a second story window, a CLOSED second story window, and for no good reason either. He also pretended to go on a week’s vacation, even posted daily on Facebook about his escapades … meanwhile he never left his bedroom!

He can be a little horny sometimes

Kirk nearly dies from the bite but the witch lady saves him. But, not before Spock gets shot with a flint lock rifle! Such twists. But wait there’s more! Kirk and McCoy discover a Klingon (and this one actually almost looks like the TNG ones), he’s secretly supplying one side of the planet with arms. The Klingons are aiding a revolution in order to pave the way for their take over … or they could have just come in and taken over??? But anyway, Kirk decides to supply the other side with arms (or as he calls it “give snakes to the garden of Eden”). This is a tough choice because he is now starting an all out war on this planet … but it’s also creating a balance of power.

All seems normal until the very end, when everything goes CRAZY! Tyree’s wife is taken and nearly gang raped, then one of the guys stabs her in the chest. McCoy then gets grazed with a bullet and an all out brawl ensues. It’s an old school hand to hand brawl. Kirk looks over and notices the formerly peaceful Tyree straddling a guy and bashing his head in with a giant rock. Meanwhile back on the Enterprise: Spock is cured by getting violently slapped in the face – hilarious.

Kirk and McCoy beam up and leave my planet in shambles. You may be wondering “Mugato, what the hell where you doing this entire time?” …. Hahaha, I was doing coke!

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 49 down 31 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 47 - THE IMMUNITY SYNDROME

2012-01-25T15:59:00.000-05:00

One heck of a dramatic episode. Nothing too fancy here, just a classic sci-fi scenario with an 11,000 mile long amoeba that eats galaxies and destroyed the Intrepid with 400 Vulcans on it. Wheew, lost my breathe there.

Spock risks his life by flying a shuttlecraft up to the amoeba for examination. Meanwhile everyone on the ship is becoming ill and the Enterprise itself is losing power. A great scene shows both Spock and Kirk giving recommendations for valor as they both prepare to die. Well, Kirk has a solution. Become an make an anti-body, more exactly an anti-matter bomb. They mostly destroy the amoeba and I guess they just saved billions upon billions of lives in the process?? Seems like a big deal actually. Also, I've noticed that Sulu has been in maybe two episodes this season. I read the Takei book, but don't recall the reason for this.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 48 down 32 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 46 - A PIECE OF THE ACTION

2012-01-23T09:10:00.000-05:00

Yes indeed, the gangster planet episode. Most people think that this idea is stupid, and maybe it is ... but it's not as bad as you think. The planet just didn't so happen to evolve into a gangster planet by coincidence. The Federation Starship Horizon had been there 100 years earlier and left a book about Chicago Mobsters of the 1920's. The society adopted this as their bible ... for some reason???

Now for the problem. How they hell did these people create an entire industry in 100 years? They produce Rolls Royce's, Tommy Guns, telephones, radio's etc. Maybe they had already been self sufficient and just switched gears or something, but really? REALLY???

This episode is really good. It's a very entertaining mobster show, very well acted and as usual has a great hint of comedy, most notably Kirk trying to act like a gangster (much to Scotty's confusion). Another great scene is when Kirk makes up an impromptu card game named Fizzbin. Actor Anthony Caruso was fantastic as Oxmyx and Vic Tayback was equally as great as Krako. Oh and by the way, Vic Tayback also played ... Mel Sharples! Anyway, watch it ... it's good stuff.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 47 down 33 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 45 - THE GAMESTERS OF TRISKELION

2012-01-21T08:48:00.002-05:00

Another one of my random favorite episodes. All of a sudden in season two the show has turned into a comedy! Again, Chekov is hilarious. I’ll explain later. Gamesters has some great action in it, the height of this is the fight scene between Kirk and the scariest villain ever. This guy is huge, dressed like a caveman and has the teeth of a wild boar. So basically he’s from Kentucky.

The premise is thus: Kirk, Uhura and Chekov suddenly disappear; they end up on a strange planet. They are forced to fight as gladiators, all for the gambling pleasures of a group of beings (who are pretty funny as they argue over bets). It is the lamest gladiator games ever. There are only 7 fighters and no crowd (other than these few unseen entities).

Each of the crew members are assigned a thrall (basically a trainer/lover??). Uhura gets a steroid head white guy that immediately tries to assault her. Kirk gets a vapid green-haired bitch, as usual Kirk breaks her down. But, Chekov’s scene is the best. His thrall comes into his cell and is immediately sexually attracted to Chekov. Unfortunately his thrall is a man in drag. Chekov is horrified and he soon turns into a stuttering fool as Divine tries to have sex with him. This may be my favorite scene in all of Star Trek.

Kirk is forced to fight that huge behemoth, all while being bound with his hands behind the back. Kirk gets whipped a hand full of times …the whip actually makes contact with the stunt man … Kirk remarkably wins the fight. The entities (the Providers aka three brains in a bubble) dislike Kirk and want him dead. But, he offers one final bet. If Kirk defeats the thralls than the crew will be released and the Providers will end the games forever. They except. And well I won’t spoil the outcome, but well … Kirk wins.

The costumes are terrible. It’s like when you purchase a Halloween costume from CVS, Walgreens or Rite Aid. Also the head of the gladiators looks like Howie Mandel. Now Sulu was supposed to be in the place of Chekov, but Takei was off filming The Green Berets with John Wayne. Honestly, Chekov makes this episode and Sulu just wouldn’t have worked.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 46 down 34 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 44 - THE TROUBLE WITH TRIBBLES

2012-01-19T18:51:00.001-05:00

Trouble with Tribbles may be the most recognizable Star Trek episode of all time, or at least most people have heard the term tribble before. It seems like a goofy episode, especially when you see that image of Kirk sitting in a pile of furballs. To some degree this is indeed a goofy episode, but it’s also really good

The comedic element to Trouble with Tribbles is great. This is due to Kirk’s many tongue-in-cheek lines and his sarcasm when dealing with the Starfleet Minister of Agriculture (of whom he obviously can’t stand). But Chekov is the best part of this episode. His seemingly endless knowledge of inaccurate Russian history is just hilarious.

There are three things going on here. First we have the Starfleet Minister of Agriculture (played by the great William Schallert). He orders the Enterprise to guard grain on a Starbase. Secondly we have the Klingons. They are on the Starbase (for relaxation purposes) but are secretly poisoning the grain. Finally we have the Tribbles. Uhura purchased one from a slimy trader and now they are multiplying faster than a white trash teenager. All of these elements are merged together wonderfully to produce a funny, interesting and entertaining episode. This one was written by David Gerrold, he would go on to write more TOS episodes, as well as The Animated Series and TNG.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 45 down 35 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 43 - WOLF IN THE FOLD

2012-01-16T19:56:00.000-05:00

This is one of my top 5 TOS episodes. While Scotty isn’t my favorite character, I still like the guy and think he is very underrated. This one is an entirely Scotty themed and it’s excellent. It starts off with Kirk, Scotty and McCoy at a strip club on some planet. It’s made up like an Arab harem and granted this girl is just a belly dancer but there is a scene in which she literally bends over backwards and pelvic thrusts right in Scotty’s face.

Scotty is super horny … and Kirk is super duper sleezy. Scotty leaves with this stripper, so he’s thinking … guaranteed lay. But there’s a scream and everyone runs out to find the girl stabbed multiple times and Scotty passed out with a knife in his hand. This happens two more times as Scotty kills a female Lt. and the wife of their host (this scene is reminiscent of Clue - the light go out, a scream, someone dead). Each time Scotty is holding the knife. There’s a weird side plot in which Scotty had recently been hit in the head by a women, so they think he may be a woman hater?? Anyway, there’s some odd mayor type guy or something played by the awesome John Fiedler (trust me you have seen or heard this guy a million times). He brings in two other suspects one being the strippers boyfriend and the other is The Iron Sheik.

Scotty is still the only obvious suspect. They take him, the host and the mayor to the Enterprise for a trial. This is the best part. The computer finds Scotty to be innocent … the glove didn’t fit. The computer searches its data banks for a suspect. And what it comes up with is shocking. I remember gasping when I first saw this scene. The killer was ... Jack the Ripper. He’s an alien entity that travels around and kills woman. I wonder if any husband has tried to use this defense in a murder trial. Anyway, the killer was Jack the Ripper aka Redjac aka the mayor!

The ending is kind of strange. McCoy drugs everyone on the ship, this prevents the entity from entering anyone’s body. This entity leaves the ship and the crew is high on drugs. Hoorah for this one.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 44 down 36 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 42 - OBSESSION

2012-01-15T21:01:00.000-05:00

As a member of the Farragut, Kirk failed to destroy an entity that killed much of the ships crew .. including his Captain. This cloud like vampire suck the hemoglobin out of red blood cells. Or something like that. Well, now this entity is back. It has already killed Ensign Ratso Rizzo and Kirk wants to kill it. One may say that he is obsessed ... or has an Obsession ... by men. So, a crew member has just failed to destroy the space vampire and Kirk rips him a new one. In a crazy twist, this crewman is the son of the Farragut Captain!

So Kirk is going nuts trying to get even with this thing. In the end he teams up with the Captain of the Farragut's son and they kill the creature with a bomb. This was a well crafted episode. It shows a Kirk in a different light as he is tortured by a regret from his past. But, the highlight of this episode is the disturbing looking nurse that is with McCoy. I mean...honestly, she's fuggly.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 43 down 37 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 41 - THE DEADLY YEARS

2012-01-15T08:58:00.000-05:00

"Strange radiation exposes the command crew of the Enterprise to the effects of rapid aging"

What a funny ass episode. In a good way though. An excellent mix of comedy and action. The away team (including Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Scotty) contract a disease that begins to age you 30 years for every day. Soon they are all elderly. They are constantly complaining, aching and are acting codgerly (however you spell that). The acting is pretty spot on and Kirk is fat with a big bald spot, it's just all pretty funny.

Yeoman Atkins

Commodore Stocker is on the ship and he takes command because he thinks Kirk is incapable. Unfortunately he taks the Enterprise right into through the neutral zone. Soon they are surrounded by Romulan ships. Kirk then imploys the infamous Corbomite Maneuver and saves the day. McCoy also has figured out the cure ... adrenaline ... for some reason. It's not important, because the episode is really damn good. (UPDATE: I just looked it up and Adrenaline is a treatment for Radiation exposure, kudos Star Trek)

I noticed that Scotty has been used very heavily in season two. This is good because I like the character. Typically he takes command of the ship when Kirk and Spock are away, and honestly he's a really good Captain. The only mention of him being a Captain doesn't come until one of the TNG movies I think, by this time he's an old man ... and looks EXACTLY like Mr. Belvadere.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 42 down 38 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 40 - FRIDAY'S CHILD

2012-01-13T22:53:00.000-05:00

"The crew of the Enterprise become entangled in a planet's tribal power struggle."

I was going to make a Wednesday's Child joke, but who would get that? It's like making a Mike Barnacle reference...exactly. This episode is similar to Errand of Mercy, both have a Kirk and a Klingon vying for the attention of their alien host. In this case they both want a mining contract. The men on this planet wear the gayest clothes. I think even Tim Gunn (aka Snagglepuss, would be offended)

The planet is in the middle of a power struggle.The second Kirk and crew beam down to the planet, "Random Red Shirt Guy" is killed. They must now choose sides in this affair. The Klingon takes the oppositions side, Kirk is on the kings side. Right in the middle is the kings daughter (played by the lovely Julie Newmar), she is pregnant with the opponents baby. She chooses to help out Kirk (along with Spock and Bones). They flee but are chased down by the Klingon. As they fight, McCoy delivers the princesses baby. She names it Leonard James, much to Spock's dismay. There's a funny scene that shows McCoy talking baby talk, it's a bit disturbing actually. In the end, the Klingon shows his true colors and Kirk wins the contract.

This Klingon is not nearly as cool as the one from Errand. This dude is seriously an Amish Klingon! I know that they sometimes leave home and venture out on their own, but becoming a Klingon is a bit extreme. His space ship is a horse and buggy.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 41 down 39 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 39 - JOURNEY TO BABEL

2012-01-11T18:58:00.000-05:00

"While transporting dignitaries to an important peace conference the Enterprise is pursued by a mysterious vessel and an assassin is discovered among the passengers"

The classic "who dunnit?" episode. Who killed the Tellirite? Was it the Vulcan? Who poisoned the Vulcan? Was it the Andorian? It must be because the Andorian just stabbed Kirk. But wait the Andorian's antennae fell off! He was really an Orion!! (This is me being a 1930's radio-drama announcer)

This episode revolves around a conference involving a bunch of delegates from different planets. The Orion's are bent on causing disaster, for selfish purposes. The subplot is focused around Spock's disconnection from his father Sarek. His mother Amanda (the mom from Father Knows Best) tries to mediate a compromise between them. Sarek nearly dies and Spock gives him a blood transfusion, now they patch things up. It was an interesting glimpse into the life of Spock. Also, one of the things that I love about TOS is McCoy's constant razzing of Spock ... this episode has a ton this. When Spock's mother brings up his favorite childhood teddy bear, well Bones can't help but bust his balls over this.

I don't have much else to say except, season one was so good that in comparison season two seems pretty shitty. In reality these are quality episodes, but the first season of TOS had many stellar episodes. I did enjoy Journey to Babel, although having Kirk nearly getting killed was a bit over the top. He was overpowered fairly easily which is way out of character.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 40 down 40 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 38 - METAMORPHOSIS

2012-01-11T09:08:00.002-05:00

"A shuttle crew from the Enterprise encounters a castaway (who appears to be Zefram Cochrane, the inventor of warp drive) and his mysterious alien companion"

Not a bad episode at all. It was interesting to use Zefram Cochrane in a plot. He was the inventor of the warp drive and he shot himself into space to die alone a bunch of years ago. He met up with this being called The Companion that has kept him immortal. Meanwhile, Kirk is transporting a delegate named Nancy to the Enterprise for a medical procedure. The shuttlecraft is then forcibly taken.

They find Cochrane living on an asteroid. Long story short, Cochrane leaves the Companion because he's sick of being lonely. Nancy on the other hand merges with the Companion because she is dying. They leave the asteroid and everyone is happy.

Years later, Kirk is the bass player for a cockney punk band. They typically unplug his bass when playing live because he's so drugged out. One night Kirk and Nancy are doing drugs and Kirk kills her. Then he overdoses.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 39 down 41 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 37 - I, MUDD

2012-01-10T18:15:00.001-05:00

Boy, I really wanted to like this episode. It just didn't do it for me. It was still cool to see Harry Mudd and he was awesome as ever, but the plot was lame. This episode was also incredibly goofy, almost too the point where I felt embarrassed. The crew of Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty and Uhura prance around and act weird, they also act out these bizarre skits.

The idea itself is alright. Mudd (who had previously been marooned) comes in contact with these Androids and he soon becomes their king. He then lures the Enterprise into a trap and plans to steal the ship. But his Androids get out of control. He works with Kirk to force the Androids into self destruction by acting out these irrational little plays. Basically this idea works, but Kirk then maroons Mudd yet again but this time with 500 android versions of his nagging wife.

It was just a weird, oddball episode that had lame comic relief and some bad acting. That being said, I'd like to be marooned with all of these hot android women ... but again that brings up the question, "Can you fuck it?"

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 38 down 42 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 36 - THE CATSPAW

2012-01-09T08:52:00.001-05:00

"Two powerful aliens threaten the well-being of the Enterprise and her crew with their magical powers"

Hated this one in high school, and hate it now. What a piece of crap. These two shapeless aliens take human form (and pick hideous ones at that), they "curse" the Enterprise and trap the crew in their Gothic castle. The episode is full of mindless Starfleet zombies, gigantic black cats, witches, the most awkward make-out scene between Kirk and a woman, disturbing extreme close ups and lazy plots. The control of the Enterprise is left to Lt. DeSalle .... who?? And Chekov's hair is friggin enormous. I can't possible explain how messed up this episode is, it's a must see just for the curiosity factor. Morbid curiosity note: the actor that plays the alien Korob died a few months later.

I'll rewrite this episode. Kirk finds a magical catspaw that grants him three wishes. Wish number one - he wants 200 dollars. So, his balls get blown off in a phaser accident and he's compensated 200 bucks. Wish number two - He wishes for his balls back. There's a knock at the door and he opens it to find the two Madballs that he lost as a child. Wish number three - He wishes for Gung Ho on VHS.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 37 down 43 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 35 - THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE

2012-01-07T21:42:00.000-05:00

Love this one. Commodore Matthew Decker is the man, he's even more rogue than Kirk and he looks more like a sea boat captain than a starship one. Decker totally makes this episode, he is by far the star, William Windom is just awesome in this episode. The Doomsday Machine is a ... machine that travels through space and destroys worlds. All they know is that it comes from another galaxy, they don't know who made it or it's purpose. The Enterprise encounters the Constillation as it floats nearly destroyed in space. Kirk and Scotty find the only survivor is Decker and he's half mad. Kirk has Decker beam over to the Enterprise while Scotty tries to fix the Constellation.

The Doomsday Machine returns and Decker relieves Spock ... from his duty people, get your mind out of the gutter. Decker attempts to attack the Machine but Spock stops him. Then the Commodore goes rogue and steals a Shuttlecraft and drives right into the Doomsday Machine, it doesn't work. But, Kirk gets an idea and him and Scotty rig the Constellation and send it right into the Machine (they obviously beam off first). The ship acts like a nuclear bomb and destroys the weird looking space worm. Kirk then comments about nuclear devices in the 20th century. Also, it was written by Norman Spinrad ... now I must post the greatest book cover of all time (of which Capt. Naps has owned every alternate version).

My alcoholic uncle

This is an excellent episode. I feel that the show Enterprise really missed out on something here. Remember the entire season two of Enterprise when the race from a different galaxy built a large machine that destroyed worlds? Yeah, well it had nothing to do with this/ But why the hell not! That wold have salvaged some of season two if they could have made that entire plot out to be the origin of the Doomsday Machine. Also, Uhura is replaced by a white girl in this episode.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 36 down 44 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 34 - THE APPLE

2012-01-07T09:08:00.000-05:00

The Apple is a very good moral episode. Underneath the weird looking visuals, the underlying meaning is rather interesting. It pins Spock’s opinion that they should not interfere with a primitive culture to Kirk/McCoy’s idea that primitive cultures must be “upgraded”. These people serve a God named Vaal (a giant stone dinosaur head). Vaal is a machine that controls the weather etc, yet it must be fed food?? Anyway this feeds into Kirk’s pet peeve; he hates cultures that worship machines (as we saw in Return of the Archons).

The episode starts off rather goofy as an away team member is killed by a spraying flower and another steps on a rock that explodes. Also the entire time Chekov and this cute Lt. girl are hugging and holding hands. Highly unprofessional. Spock is shot by the flower but does not die … Kirk then picks the flower and smells it!?!?!

The crew then meets a culture that is peaceful and happy. The planet seems like a Garden of Eden. These people do not know of violence or even understand sex (this causes McCoy to remark “well, there goes paradise”). Kirk and McCoy want to help this culture to evolve but this would involve destroying Vaal. Luckily for Kirk he must destroy it anyway as it threatens the Enterprise.

Now that Vaal is gone, this culture has zero direction. Typically it would take a very long time for a society to form from a culture that is completely reliant on Gods to a self sufficient one. I’m guessing that suddenly taking away the only thing that these people have lived for would be a pretty disastrous thing to do. Kirk just doesn’t see it that way. I love the ending, everyone is back on the ship and Spock is comparing what they just did to what Satan did to the Garden of Eden. He “casts Kirk” in the role of Satan. This causes the Captain to say that there’s only one person on this ship that even remotely resembles the devil.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 35 down 45 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 33 - MIRROR, MIRROR

2012-01-05T08:51:00.000-05:00

"A transporter mishap slips Captain Kirk and his companions into a parallel universe, where the Enterprise serves a barbaric Empire instead of the Federation."

A great mirror universe episode, aka Spock's Beard. But the reason that this episode is so excellent comes from three very unlikely sources ... Uhuru, Sulu and Chekov. I'm typically a Uhura hater but I must have forgotten about this episode because she is pretty damn bad ass. This is also an amazing performance from George Takei as he plays a menacing Sulu, also Chekov has a short but down right evil scene as well.

Luckily Kirk has been sent into this parallel universe with a capable team. I mean imagine if he had gone down to the planet with half-naked dumb blonde and black guy that's bound to get killed? He would never have made it back to his universe. But, he has Scotty and McCoy and they figure out a way to get back to the right place.

Barbara Luna at 70 yrs old!

Of course Kirk has to meet up with a hot chick, it's bound to happen. And even in the face of possible execution (by defying the orders of the Empire) he still finds time to make-out. The woman (Barbara Luna) is scantily clad but then goes into the other room to "slip into something more comfortable" and comes out wearing more clothes! Boy this place really is backwards. I wonder if in this universe "New Adventures of Old Christine" is actually watchable ... or if Kirk has internal genitalia? These are the hard hitting questions people!

The cool thing is that even in a parallel universe Spock is pretty much the same guy. He helps Kirk and crew to make it home. But before they leave Kirk convinces Spock ala Beard that the Empire is wrong, and that they should be peaceful. Should he really be messing with an alternate universe like this? I mean, it's ALTERNATE for a reason right? As they are about to beam back Kirk's alternate wife holds them at gunpoint because she wants to go back with them ... and Uhura disarms her. Now back in the right universe Kirk meets the current version of his "wife" as a newly assigned Lt.

As a kid I remember not liking this episode because I always found alternate universe stuff to be so unbelievable. But now that I'm way older and I know that there is actually theory behind this stuff, I find it far more interesting.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 34 down 46 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 32 - THE CHANGELING

2012-01-04T21:38:00.001-05:00

Certainly a classic episode, I mean who can forget the lovable Nomad? But, damn this thing got bigger holes than Kirsty Alley. I actually like the idea of an Earth space probe meeting up with aliens and getting reprogrammed ... it's pretty cool. But they made a device that destroys imperfection? Is that a race full of obsessive compulsive aliens? Also, I hate that they rehash this same idea for Star Trek: The Motion Picture ... so lazy.

And Nomad just killed 4 BILLION people! He's ruined more lives than Eli Whitney. What?? Anyway, Nomad absorbs every photon torpedo that the Enterprise shoots at him, and it's a second away from destroying the ship when Nomad suddenly mistakes Kirk for it's creator (Roykirk). Nomad boards the ship and kills Scotty when (surprise) he randomly runs at Nomad like a wild maniac. Then Nomad hears Uhura's awful singing and erases her mind. Now Nomad brings Scotty back to life and Nurse Chapple reteaches Uhura literally everything. I mean come on now.

Kirk causes Nomad to destroy itself by making it realize it's own imperfections. If only I could cause humans to do the same thing. It's a decent episode and Nomad isn't as dumb looking as I remembered.
I did like the part in which the police trick Angelina Jolie into thinking that she never had a son named Nomad.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 33 down 47 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 31 - WHO MOURNS FOR ADONAIS?

2012-01-04T08:41:00.001-05:00

Who Mourns For Adonis has always been one of my top ten favorites. I like mythology and the concept that these Gods existed (be it as superior alien beings) is an interesting idea. The theory put down in this episode is that the Greek Gods were powerful alien beings that travelled around the universe and influenced civilizations (such as Earth and Vulcan/Romulan).

In this episode the Enterprise encounters the actual Apollo (and his giant green space hand) and are held captive. Apollo wants to be worshiped.

Actor Michal Forest does a great job as the cocky Apollo and he looks the part as well, his dialogue is also wonderfully written. He soon takes Lt. Palamas (played by the beautiful Leslie Parrish) as his love interest. Kirk devises a plan to anger Apollo to the point where his guard is down and then Spock can order Sulu to shoot Apollo’s power source (Mt. Olympus). Once his power source is destroyed, Kirk and crew escape. Apollo seems a bit depressed. Scotty is so insane in the this episode, it’s hilarious. He gets so pissed at Apollo that he just blindly runs at him like a raving lunatic, Apollo blasts him with his lightening. The greatest thing is that Scotty does this not once, not twice but THREE TIMES. Even after Kirk warned him to stop. I guess Scotty is supposed to be a bar room brawler type of guy? I like him.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 32 down 48 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 30 - AMOK TIME

2012-01-03T09:06:00.001-05:00

Amok Time aka Spock is horny. This episode is split in half, the first half is full of some of the greatest dialogue in TOS and the second half is the classic Spock vs Kirk fight to the death. Amok Time is a wonderfully written episode by the classic sci-fi author Theodore Sturgeon who also wrote “Shore Leave”.

The acting of Nimoy is excellent as he plays an out of control Spock. There are fantastic interactions between Spock and Kirk, as well as Kirk and McCoy. This episode also introduces Chekov and he is immediately likable as he banters with Sulu. Season two is where we see the core crew more consistently. Nearly every episode has most, if not all of the “classic characters”.

The camaraderie between Spock, Kirk and McCoy is solidified in this episode as McCoy shows concern for Spock and tells Kirk that they must take him to Vulcan asap, Kirk defies Starfleet orders to save his “friend” and Spock resigns distraught over killing Kirk. Also Spock gets to whip a bowl of soup at Nurse Chapel, which is just awesome.

Spock is in his Pon Farr and must go through the mating ritual on Vulcan (presided over by T’Pau), or he will die. His wife loves another guy (and i'll be honest with you, this guy is fucking ugly) so she asks for a fight to the death, but requests Kirk to be her champion. McCoy cleverly gives Kirk a shot that simulates death, Spock “kills him”. But, he finds out that his wife still doesn’t want him, and Spock really doesn’t care. He’s upset about killing the Captain, but soon finds out the trick. Sturgeon is sort of known for putting homosexual tones into his writing (Shore Leave had an odd man on man message scene), I tried to find something in Amok Time. It may be a stretch but I’m thinking it could be the fact that Spock doesn’t care that his wife loves this other man yet he is very upset over killing Kirk. Maybe? If this was me, in both cases I would not care. Although if I killed my friend, I would go to jail and that would be really crappy for me.

Kirk is so great because he is not only an excellent Captain but he’s also a good friend to his crewmates. He’s like the cool boss that is also really good at his job. See, Archer sucked because he was pals with everyone but he was just a terrible Captain.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 31 down 49 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 29 - OPERATION ANNIHILATE!

2012-01-01T18:22:00.000-05:00

An alright episode, certainly shouldn't have been the season finale. I like the idea of these amoeba's that are traveling from planet to planet using humans as hosts. It's a plot that will be used many times in other sci-fi formats for years to come. Spock is attacked by one of these (dumb looking) amoebas. Spock offers himself up to McCoy as a test subject to find a solution. Kirk toys with the idea of destroying the planet in order to kill off these alien amoebas.

McCoy figures out that light kills them (which is odd seeing how they attacked Spock in broad daylight). McCoy blinds Spock in the process, but cures him. Also Spock reveals that he was saved from blindness by his inner eyelid (which according to David Icke, President Bush Sr. also has). Spock wins McCoy's respect and they destroy these parasites using a satellite thingy.

Someone puked on Spock!

So ends season one and all I can say is wow. In one seasons we have seen The Salt Sucker, Charlie Evans, Gary Mitchell, Mudd, the Romuland, Klingons and Khan. Some of the greatest writing had been in season one; City on the Edge, Squire of Gothos, Conscience of the King and Devil in the Dark to name a few. With the exception of the Menagerie, it's tough to find any episode that was below a B

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 30 down 50 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 28 - CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER

2011-12-31T09:29:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure that I can say that I have a favorite Classic Star Trek episode. But, If I do this one could be it. Yeah, it seems typical and I'm sure a lot of people say that this is their favorite, but this episode is near perfect. City on the Edge has an interesting plot, meaningful subject matter, action, comedy, drama, suspense and amazing acting. I mean it has Joan Collins, and she doesn't dissapoint. But honestly Shatner and Kelly are right on par with her.

Sure there's holes; they can't find McCoy yet he's hiding right there behind a rock, The Guardian itself seems so unlikely, Spock builds a complex machine out of "stone tools and bear skins"... but who cares. The episode starts with McCoy accidently injecting himself with drugs and turning into a crazed junkie...winning. He escapes down to the planet and ends up jumping back in time to the depression by going through the Guardian. By doing this he changes history and the Enterprise ceases to exist. Kirk and Spock go back to the same time period in order to fix the future.

After assaulting a police officer, Kirk and Spock end up in a mission. Here they meet Edith, the head of the shelter. Kirk falls in love with her and Spock builds a device that can read the timeline. They find out that McCoy screwed up the future by saving Edith. Kirk must now let her die. He does this with great anguish. It's a great script and the writing is just awesome .... Harlan Ellison.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 29 down 51 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 27 - THE ALTERNATIVE FACTOR

2011-12-30T19:50:00.001-05:00

“While orbiting an apparently dead planet, the Enterprise seems to experience a strange moment of "nonexistence." Captain Kirk discovers a man named Lazarus on the planet below, who claims the effect was caused by his "enemy," later revealed to be an insane version of Lazarus from an alternate dimension.”

As a child this was one of my favorite episodes, now not so much. But it’s still pretty good. The idea is great and it’s rather spot on scientifically. The problem (as Donald pointed out in Devil in the Dark), the writing was too far beyond the production. This has to be one of the worst looking TOS episodes, the visual over lays and annoying strobe lights were just, well … annoying.

That being said, I like this episode for four reasons: time traveling, alternate reality, space/time rips and a guy that looks like the singer for the Spin Doctors. Lazarus is a good vocalist, “Two Princess” is a decent jam. I saw the Spin Doctors play live along with Soul Asylum and The Screaming Trees. The bass player was awesome. Anyway, Lazarus is in a battle with his alternate universe self. Every time they fight it makes the universe freak out. Starfleet orders Kirk to figure solve this issue. It ends up that the “villain” is the real world Lazarus. Kirk traps him in the alternate dimension and then destroys his time machine.

They are always drinking coffee on this show. In fact there was a scene that I forgot to mention from a few episodes back in which the entire crew on the bridge had been drinking coffee while working ... it was so odd. I'm surprised that nobody ever smoked on Classic Star Trek. Anyway, Lazarus was supposed to be played by John Barrymore but he was nowhere to be found on the day of filming.So that got this dude. He was in an episode of Bewitched, he played the Gloucester Fisherman Statue come-to-life. Who outside of New England would even get that reference???

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 28 down 52 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 26 - ERRAND OF MERCY

2011-12-29T19:29:00.002-05:00

Don't get me wrong, this episode is decent, it's just not lights out. Kor (John Colicos) is a really good character, in fact he's actually likable. This actually may be a problem seeing how he's supposed to be a Klingon which should make him constantly pissed off and violent. He's actually very smart and well spoken yet still a bit bad ass. He's also so odd looking, I'm distracted by his strange mustache and pumpkin shaped head.

The basic premise is this: Shit between the Klingons and the Federation are going badly. The Enterprise is sent to Organia in order to prevent the Klingons from annexing it. They find that they are too late and Kor has taken control and is turning into a dictator of sorts. The dynamic is odd; Kor and Kirk fight back and forth but also have an obvious undercurrent of total respect for each other. Meanwhile the Organians play both sides and could pretty much care less about the outcome. Well, come to find out that they are powerful beings and view both the Klingons and Humans as mere children. The Organians organize a new Klingon-Federation treaty and Kirk returns to the Enterprise feeling a little bit embarressed by the entire situation.The plot wasn't the best, but you see why the Klingons became such an important character in the Star Trek universe. Kor was great. Also Shatner had a solid performance in this episode as well. It's cool because this is the first appearance of the Klingons as well as the Klingon ship.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 27 down 53 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 25 - THE DEVIL IN THE DARK

2011-12-28T23:15:00.000-05:00

"Dispatched to the mining colony on Janus VI, the Enterprise is tasked to investigate rumors of a strange, subterranean creature responsible for destruction of equipment and the deaths of fifty miners. Kirk and Spock discover a silicon-based life form, a Horta, which lives in the surrounding rock"

I’ll be honest, I barely remember this episode. But I was pleasantly surprised by it. It starts off on a super down note though. This mining planet has an issue in which the miners are being killed by a creature. And a good thing too because these guys are terrible actors. The Enterprise is called in and Kirk, McCoy and Spock beam down. Spock theorizes that the creature is a carbon based life form. They search for the creature through these vast networks of tunnels (So far this episode is very reminiscent of the X-Files).

Here’s where the magic happens. Kirk and Spock encounter the creature and it’s pretty dumb looking, picture a bloody puppet booger. Kirk figures out that it is intelligent and Spock mind melds with it. This scene is very emotional as we get to see the tremendous pain and sadness that plagues this creature. Leonard Nimoy is remarkable in this scene. We find out that she is a mother protecting her babies, of which thousands have been killed by the miners. This part of the episode is done so well that you actually start to feel sympathy for this ridiculous looking puppet booger. The creature is injured and dying, but McCoy cures it (I’m a doctor not a bricklayer). Kirk then negotiates an agreement between the miners and the creature. Spock has become close to the creature as well, at the end he sort of gloats about how the booger found his ears to be quite attractive. This was a surprisingly great episode. The moral is: never have sex with a miner.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 26 down 54 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 24 - THIS SIDE OF PARADISE

2011-12-27T00:00:00.001-05:00

It took me 15 minutes to figure out what episode this was. At first it didn't seem familiar at all ... then oh yea, the one were Spock gets shot with confetti.Kirk, McCoy, Sulu and Spock beam down to a planet, there are these plants that shoot spores at you and it makes you very stoned. Spock turn into a giddy school boy as he frolics with an old girlfriend (played by Jill Ireland). Suddenly Kirk is the only sober one. The spores spread around the ship and mutiny breaks out.

This episode is rather funny and entertaining. Spock is hilarious as an emotional Vulcan. Kirk also gets shot but fight it off by being angry. The best scene is when Kirk spews out a string of ant-Vulcan slurs at Spock in an attempt to piss him off, "you belong in a circus, right next to the dog-faced boy!". And it works. Spock sobers up and his girl is mad at him, she tried to get him to come back down to the planet and get high again. Typical woman, always trying to change you. Kirk and Spock turn the rest of the crew back to normal. Spock has a good closing line saying "For the first time in my life, I was happy". Good stuff, I enjoyed it ... but this has been like the third time that the crew was "high" and it's only half way through season one. Oh the 60's.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 25 down 55 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 23 - A TASTE OF ARMAGEDDON

2011-12-24T15:25:00.000-05:00

"On Eminiar VII, the Enterprise finds a civilization at war with its planetary neighbor. Unable to discern any signs of battle from orbit, Captain Kirk leads a landing party to the surface where he discovers the entire war is fought by computer."

I really like the concept behind this episode. It's interesting and a bit spooky. It just doesn't seem to make sense. At first we hear that these planets fight wars virtually through computer so I'm thinking, "that's cool, it eliminates human death tolls" ... then we find out that the humans that are virtually killed, then go into an incineration booth and kill themselves. So what's the point???!?!?! I never really got it I guess.

Nontheless, I like the episode. Scotty gives a solid performance and Kirk is cool as always. In the end negotiations are in effect between the two rivals. This episode reminds me of a movie I saw when I was younger. All I remember is a scene in which the president is on Air Force One and his secretary says to him something like "we just lost Philadelphia" - meaning the Russians just nuked it. This scene was far scarier than if they actually showed the city being destroyed. Anyway, that's it.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 24 down 56 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 22 - SPACE SEED

2011-12-23T20:46:00.001-05:00

"The Enterprise discovers an ancient sleeper ship, the SS Botany Bay, which escaped from Earth's Eugenics Wars in the late 20th century. The genetically engineered passengers, led by war criminal Khan Noonien Singh, seize control of the Enterprise and attempt to destroy the ship."

I like this episode don't get me wrong, but it just didn't have the same effect on me that some of the others have had so far. Maybe I was looking forward to it too much. I must say though this episode has an awful lot of female abuse. Uhura gets smacked around and then there is a disturbing scene between Khan and McGivers in which he plays the role of the abusive husband and she the submissive wife. Ricardo Montalban is very good in this episode, although I think he is missing the idea of meditation ... he does it so violently.

I found it tough to buy the Eugenics War thing happening in the 1990's because well ... it didn't. But, it helps to think of it as a secret history. Anyway, Khan and his frozen pals on the Botany Bay are Augment escapees from the 90's. I assumed he would be wearing a Pearl Jam shirt or something, but he wasn't. Anyway, Kirk and McCoy board the ship along with a fine looking historian named Howard Zinn ... oh wait no, it was Lt. McGivers. So basically she falls in love with Khan, who is very smooth may I add. Eventually Khan tries to take over the ship because he's crazy. Spock remarks that Khan is from the 1990's which was a strange and violent time. Let's see; Lump by The Presidents of The United States of America, Clinton gets a bj and Pacific Blue - yeah the 90's were pretty wild.

Kirk eventually fights him and wins, but in reality Khan would have beat the shit out him. I mean, a second ago he crushed a phaser with his bare hands. So I assume he could have crushed Kirks bones with ease. Anyway they have a trial and Kirk is presiding. Khan is accused of hijacking the ship as well as attempted murder on Kirk and other crew members. So of course the obvious judgment would be to give him his own planet and oh he can take Lt. McGivers as well. If I remember correctly Khan turns his new habitat into some kind of island of fantasies. McGivers dies giving birth to a midget. And then years later that midget hangs himself from a step stool.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 23 down 57 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 21 - RETURN OF THE ARCHONS

2011-12-22T12:04:00.001-05:00

Festival! Festival! You know, as a kid this was my favorite TOS episode. I had it taped on VHS and watched it all of the time. Now, I wouldn’t say that it is still my favorite but I still really like it. The basic plot is this: The Enterprise is in the area of where the USS Archon disappeared years earlier. Sulu and some dude beam down to the planet and are attacked by druid looking guys that shoot them with confetti from a tube. This turns them into stoned-out hippies (by the way, this is one of Takei’s best performances). Kirk, Spock, McCoy and some guy beam down and notice that the whole town is full of stoned-out weirdos. Suddenly it’s time for FESTIVAL! And everyone turns into murdering, raping, rioting crazies … picture the LA Riots but if it was referred to as the LA Festival.

Come to find out that the entire population is controlled by a computerized version of a spiritual teacher named Landru. Everybody on the planet is happy, peaceful and tranquil … except for this one hour festival in which they can go nuts. They try to assimilate Kirk and crew, but soon they wonder whether they are the Archons (a prophecy told by the Landru computer). McCoy ends up getting hit and turns into a weirdo. Kirk discovers the computer and tricks it into destroying itself by making it realize that it is indeed a computer and not Landru.

I love this episode for a few reasons. One of them is Festival! It’s just so crazy, I used have nightmares about the first stoned guy that Kirk meets (very Clockwork Orange-esque), so creepy. But, the most peculiar part that I love is the fact that Kirk just totally meddles in this planets culture and religion. And he’s a total dick about it! I mean this is a place that has absolute peace for 23 hours a day. How is this so bad? And even so, this is their way of life and so what if they worship a computer?! Why does Kirk care!! The ending is so great. After Kirk destroys the computer, the people are just completely stunned. They now have no direction, after all Kirk just killed their God!! One of the druid guys comments to Kirk “what do we do now?” and the Captain replays “I suggest you lose the robes and get new jobs”. What?? What an asshole!

This one also has some of the best production screw-ups. At one point a crewman is beaned in the head with a rather large rock, he just keeps running as if nothing happened. Or as if the rock had been made out of Styrofoam. Also, at some point McCoy shoots his phaser; it makes the sound but they failed to put the glowing laser effect on it. It just looks so stupid. FESTIVAL!

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 22 down 58 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 20 - COURT MARTIAL

2011-12-21T10:17:00.002-05:00

"Captain Kirk is placed on trial for negligence after a crewman is killed during a severe ion storm. Kirk maintains that his actions were proper and should not have led to the officer's death, but the evidence is strongly against him. All seems lost until new evidence prompts Kirk's attorney to use an innovative defense strategy."

Ever wonder what it would look like if Star Trek met Perry Mason ... well here you go. I wouldn't say that this episode is top notch, but it's certainly serviceable. And I thought the acting was great, especially Shatner and Elisha Cook Jr.

The plot was interesting enough, Kirk is charged with killing a crew member named Finney (be it accidentally). He has had sort of a feud with this guy, so it doesn't really look good. An interesting note is that the Cmdr/Judge is black and the prosecutor is a woman (Kirk's ex-girlfriend). Star Trek TOS is weird like that, it can be totally sexist one minute and then very groundbreaking the next. To make matters worse the computers shows that Kirk is lying about the event. Kirk gets the best lawyer; he's this wacky but very smart lawyer and a tough old bastard.

The evidence looks bad for Kirk and he's about to be sentenced when Spock shows up saying that the ship computer has been tampered with. Then Kirk's lawyer drops a bomb shell - Finney is alive and hidding on the ship.He's correct. They find him and he admits he tried to frame Kirk. Then Kirk and Finney fight. And well, that's basically the end. PS: I love Kirk's two fighting moves; 1. the axe handle chop to the back. 2. fall to the ground on your back and flip the guy using your legs

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 21 down 59 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 19 - TOMORROW IS YESTERDAY

2011-12-20T19:56:00.000-05:00

“After accidentally traveling back in time to 1969, the Enterprise rescues USAF Captain John Christopher from his crippled fighter jet. The crew struggles to return to their own time, while simultaneously returning Christopher to the Air Force, removing his knowledge of the future, and all record of contact with the Enterprise.”

I’m bored so I just decided to watch another Trek episode, glad I did. I have heard negative things about this episode throughout the years; I guess some people don’t like it. It’s actually one of my top 10. The beginning scene in which Cpt. Christopher is about to take off in his jet and the camera pans up to the blue sky and we see the Enterprise flying through the clouds … I simply love it. Tomorrow is Yesterday is full of great comic relief, while at the same time being very interesting and exciting.

Although this episode is from 1966, it takes place during mans journey to the moon in 1969. I think this is pretty cool. Anyway, upon seeing the Enterprise, Cpt. Christopher takes off after it and Kirk is forced to grab the jet in the tractor beam. Before the jet is pulled apart, Kirk transports Christopher to the Enterprise. Of course he is completely in awe. At first they plan on just kidnapping Christopher because he knows too much, but his son will be an important person in the future so they must return him. A funny thing takes place in which the ship computer has a glitch and it keeps hitting on Captain Kirk.

Kirk and Sulu go down to the Air Force base in order to ruin the evidence of the Enterprise’ existence. McCoy accidently beams up a soldier instead of Sulu, so now they also have to deal with this guy as well. Kirk is captured and interrogated. Kirk is so sarcastic throughout the interrogation, it’s great. But before this, the funniest fight scene between Kirk and three soldiers takes place … It’s just so ridiculous looking … trust me. I laughed and replayed it, and laughed again.

Spock and posse save Kirk and they plan on returning everyone to the normal time by swinging around the sun and causing a slingshot effect. The sun’s force will pull the Enterprise, making it go faster than normal. The faster they go, the more time slows and eventually goes backwards. At least that’s what I got from it. At any rate, it works. Just to note: John Christopher is played by Roger Perry who was actually in the USAF.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 20 down 60 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 18 - ARENA

2011-12-20T16:01:00.000-05:00

“The Enterprise comes under attack by unknown aliens while investigating the near-destruction of the Cestus III colony. While chasing the aliens into unexplored space, both ships are captured by the powerful Metrons, who force Kirk and the alien captain (later identified as a member of the Gorn race – and voice by Ted Cassidy) to trial by combat: the winner's vessel will be set free, while the loser's ship will be destroyed.”

So what if the plot is weak and there’s barely any dialogue, this episode is pure action. Never before has this Enterprise crew been engaged is such battle. Could be the most made fun of episode of Star Trek, but I really dig it. Right away in the beginning they land on Cestus III and are bombarded by missles. It’s a rather fierce fight and lasts some time. They beam up and eventually chase the Gorn ship through space. Suddenly both ships stop dead and are visited by the voice of a Metron. They offer to settle this little tiff by transporting Kirk and the Gorn Captain to a place where they can fight it out. There is also all of the materials to make a weapon available here … HINT, HINT! But really why? It seems rather forced.

The Gorn looks like a guy in a crappy rubber lizard custom, well because that’s what it is. But never mind, overlook it, pretend it doesn’t suck, because this will be an entertaining ride. The Gorn is slow and very strong. Kirk is quick and very smart. Good matchup. At one point the Gorn and Kirk embraced in a wrestling hold … wouldn’t the Gorn have just ripped Kirk apart? I mean he can lift gigantic boulders. Also, yet again we see a sword fight involving tree branches. Finally, I love watching the Gorn with his microphone, always funny. (For more Gorn material please reference my very first Mugato's blog post from November 18th 2004).

Kirk comments that they have been taken to the surface of an asteroid. Would an asteroid have a landscape with trees, shrubs … a sky? Maybe in the right conditions I guess, just seems unlikely. This was filmed at Vazquez Rocks in California, also used in Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.

This has always been my favorite part: Kirk uses materials that he found around the landscape to construct a cannon. He then shoots the Gorn and traps him. But, he refuses to kill him. This is where the Metron finally appears … and boy what a site. It’s a man in a dress. A nice dress too, like something that a girl would wear to an awards show. Sadly this is the first episode that doesn’t have a piece of eye candy in it … so I guess this thing will have to do. This could take some time.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 19 down 61 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 17 - THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOS

2011-12-19T11:17:00.001-05:00

Liberace

"The Enterprise discovers a rogue planet drifting through space, inhabited by an eccentric being named Trelane who uses his apparently unlimited power over matter and form to manipulate the crew."

This is no longer Star Trek. It is the Trelane aka Squire of Gothos aka William Campell show. This guy is brash, childish, annoying and a total prick .... I absolutely love him. This character is so well written and well acted that Kirk seemed forgettable in comparison.

Upon discovering a rogue planet, Kirk and Sulu suddenly disappear from the Enterprise. An away crew is sent down to this planet to search for them and they discover a medieval castle. Here upon, everyone meets the Squire of Gothos. A wacky English aristocrat with a love for Earth Military history ... and also an alien. He is so childish and annoying, he also seemingly has unlimited powers. At some point Kirk challenges him to a duel with old timey guns, Kirk purposely shoots at a mirror in the room. This pisses off Trelane.

Kirk with the ever present lovely lady

Kirk and crew escape to the ship but are chased down by the entire planet. Kirk disappears again and re-materializes in a court ... Trelane orders Kirk to be hung, or hanged or whatever the correct word is. But, the captain isn't one to be out maneuvered so he wisely plays to the Squire's weakness ... a love for mischievous fun. Kirk suggests that Trelane try and kill him with a sword. Trelane swings and misses, in the process he cuts the limb off of a tree. Then Kirk picks up a branch and sword fights with him. Sword versus tree branch ... does this at all make sense? Ha ha, of course not! Then Kirk grabs the sword out of the Squire's hand and breaks it over his knee. Really? I mean, I guess Bo Jackson used to break baseball bats.

Then out of nowhere, we see two green masses in the sky. They start chiding Trelane as if he were their child ... oh wait he is! They gave him his own planet as a gift, but now he is being a bad boy. He whines like a typical little brat and the parents apologize to Kirk. And that's about it. I like this one. An interesting side note: I've read only a few Star Trek novels, but one was "Q-Squared". In this book they say that this meeting with Trelane was Earth's first encounter with the "Q" Continuum. This would make sense, as his powers did seem to be very Q like.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 18 down 62 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 16 - GALILEO SEVEN

2011-12-18T22:20:00.000-05:00

“Spock and a scientific party are sent to study the Murasaki 312 quasar aboard the shuttle Galileo. During the survey, the Galileo is forced to make an emergency landing on the planet Taurus II, where the crew fight the planet's dangerous inhabitants.” This is one of my favorite episodes. I just love the shuttlecrafts from TOS and I had a Galileo Seven model hanging from my bedroom ceiling as a kid. Seeing the craft in the bay and watching it fly through space is just too cool, I don’t know maybe I’m just weird.

This is a “classic” Spock episode. His logical side really shines as it consistently annoys the rest of the crew. This dynamic never fails to make me happy. You got to love how everyone hates Spock. While the crew (which consists of Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Latimer, Gaetano, Boma and a sexy girl) are trapped on this unknown planet, Kirk is fighting against time in his efforts to find them. He must take medical supplies to a colony and only has one day to locate the lost shuttlecraft.

One member of the crew is killed by a gigantic spear to the back. The funny thing is that all of the shots of the dead crewman are from mid-spear up … meaning they never show the body. I’m guessing that they didn’t have the “effects” to make a dead guy with a large spear in the back. Spock goes back to the craft and Scotty is working on fixing the shuttle. Spock tells him that most likely they will have to leave someone behind in order to lift off. Then in a curious move he orders one of the crew to wait in the middle of nowhere … alone … seemingly for no reason. Well of course he is killed, by a caveman-giant. Spock then orders everyone to fire at the cavemen but don’t kill them, this will scare them. But, this just manages to make the cavemen even more violent. They flee to the ship as these assailants toss boulders and Spock wonders why his logic is failing. The best thing about Spock is that the more he fails, the more intrigued he becomes … and this annoys the shit out of the crew members.

Spock does have a human moment when he goes back to retrieve the body of the 2^nd dead crewman. This is when one of the best fuck ups in Trek history occurs. Spock is carrying his body back to the craft when he suddenly bombarded by the giant spears. One spear hits the crewman right in the head. In reality this should have made a horrible and disgusting mess. But no, it just explodes in a shower of Styrofoam. Ha ha awesome.

They finally lift off. Spock jettisons the last of the fuel in order to make a flare that will be picked up by the Enterprise. Meanwhile Kirks time is up (they have located craft and even sent an away team to the planet but they had been attacked as well). In the final moment, the Enterprise sees the flare and transports them back to the Enterprise. Whew, a close-call.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 17 down 63 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 15 - SHORE LEAVE

2011-12-17T12:43:00.001-05:00

"Captain Kirk orders shore leave for the Enterprise crew on a seemingly uninhabited planet in the Omicron Delta system. Spock discovers that the planet seems to be drawing a large amount of energy from the ship's engines, placing the Enterprise in danger."

Shore Leave is probably the most joke about, parodied and mocked episode of the Star Trek franchise. Sure there’s a giant Easter bunny, but honestly this episode is pretty darn good. It was written by sci-fi author Theodore Sturgeon. The idea of a planet in which anything you think of comes true is pretty awesome, but TOS explores the downside to this power. McCoy ends up getting shot, Kirk gets fucked up in a fight with one of the best guest characters in Star Trek - Finnegan, he also sees his old love Ruth, the sexy Yeoman Barrows gets sexually assaulted by Don Juan (a solid portrayal of a Hispanic male) and Sulu picks some flowers then finds a gun. What more could you ask for?

Ashford kind of looks like
a Klingon actually.

The fight scene between Kirk and Finnegan is so long though, like the one from They Live! That’s my only gripe, no one could take that many punches to the face. In the end Kirk orders everyone to stand at attention and not think of anything (que the stay-puff marshmallow man). If I was one of these crewman, boy what a disaster this would be. Kirk would be like … “OK, who is thinking of a camel with the head of Nick Ashford and breasts for it’s humps???” In the end, the caretaker comes out and apologizes for the inconvenience. McCoy shows up with two prostitutes and all is well.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 16 down 64 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 14 - BALANCE OF TERROR

2011-12-16T10:13:00.000-05:00

“While investigating a series of destroyed outposts, the Enterprise discovers a lone Romulan vessel with a cloaking device.”

An A+ across the board; writing, acting, action – you name it. Certainly this episode is one giant reference to the Cold War and Vietnam. In fact the term Balance of Terror was a common Cold War term for the nuclear arms race. In addition to that the neutral zone that plays such a big part in this episode, was also an important area in the Vietnam War (the DMZ). A few months before this episode was written, the U.S. sent an additional 200,000 troops to Vietnam. Just to put that into perspective, the U.S. has had something like 100,000 troops total in Afghanstan/Iraq.

A quick recap: Balance starts off with a wedding between two crew members. Suddenly the alarm goes off (which it does about 4 more times in the episode and it’s so annoying), it seems that Earth’s outposts are being destroyed along the Neutral Zone. This zone had been set up after the Earth-Romulan War. Now, even though the Earth had a war with the Romulans, no one has ever seen what they like. Not even Spock.

The Enterprise encounters a Bird of Prey but it cloaks. Kirk is able to track it through scans and they shadow it. The Romulan captain is shown on screen and it looks just like a Vulcan. Spock explains that they are an offshoot of the Vulcan race. This causes Lt. Stiles to suspect Spock of being a spy.

Probably the greatest chess match between two captains is about to occur. The Romulan Commander is just a smart as Kirk and they repeatedly outplay each other. The Romulan ship lays a trap of a cloaked nuclear weapon. But, Kirk destroys it and cripples the Romulan ship in the process. He offers to beam over the survivors, but the Romulan Commander denies the offer and he shows much compassion for Kirk. He claims that in another time they could have been friends, then he self-destructs the Bird of Prey.

We find out that there had been one casualty on the Enterprise, it is the man who was about to be married in the beginning. Kirk visits his grieving fiancé and the episode ends with Kirk silently walking down the hall with a stunned look on his face. What an awesome ending. Not a happy note to be found. Mark Lenard is great in this one, as he always is. We’ll see him more as he also plays Spock’s father and the Klingon Commander in the 1^st movie. Now in case anyone forgets why the Romulan culture is a mirror image of the Romans, we will be answering this soon in the episode “Who Mourns For Adonis?”.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 15 down 65 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 13 - THE CONSCIENCE OF THE KING

2011-12-15T09:27:00.000-05:00

"Captain Kirk crosses paths with an actor suspected of having been a murderous dictator many years before."

The Cute Captain is in rare form in this one. Shatner’s corny and hacky performance is absolute gold. Kirk is hitting on this woman for the entire episode and he’s putting on his phony nice guy persona. His flirting skills are so terrible. In this case Kirks’ thinking with his phaser and not his brain nearly gets him killed.

It starts out with an acting group performing MacBeth on the Enterprise. I still hate when they use these out of date references. I mean wouldn’t Avenue Q be just as classic? So, Kirk becomes obsessed with this actress. So he lays it on thick. But, the jokes on him as she is trying to kill him.

You see, a few years back there had been the head of an Earth colony named Kodos. He turned into a dictator and killed half of the population. He disappeared and is presumed dead, but never found. Only three people can identify him. Some guy that I forget his name, Lt. Riley and Kirk. Well Kodos is disguised as an actor in this group and Kirk’s new girl is killing off anyone that can identify him (she’s his daughter – and he doesn’t know that she’s doing this).Spock and McCoy suspect something is wrong and investigate, like too buddy cops.

Lt, Riley plays a major role, much like he did in Naked Time. He is poisoned, but survives and then goes after Kodos. Kirk stops him though because he’s not sure that this actor is truly the former dictator. Then Kodos admits his true identity and shows remorse. His daughter goes insane and tries to shoot Kirk. I mean she really turns into a freaking lunatic. And the thing is, before this I didn’t think she was that hot and now I find her super sexy. She shoots, Kodos jumps in front of Kirk and is killed. Case Closed. Rather mediocre episode, but the acting was pretty damn spot on. In any case, it's still better than Trip getting pregnant. Oh and Uhura plays a space harp and sings, dreadfully.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 14 down 66 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 12 - THE MENAGERIE 2

2011-12-14T11:20:00.000-05:00

Like I said, I just watched The Cage last week so this was just dreadful to sit through. Now, I remember the entire reason why Spock did this and I also know why I keep forgetting this. Because it sucks. He just wants the Talosians to revive Pike to his former self. Why would Spock do this? It’s way out of character! Then we have Mendez being a Talosian the entire time. Certainly there really is a Cmdr. Mendez because Kirk knew him well. So…was this Mendez a Talosian back at the Starfleet facility??

Also, Starfleet was indeed watching the trial of Spock, this part was not a Talosian trick. They find him innocent and in fact think he had a good idea, they order the Enterprise to bring Pike to Talos IV and have him fixed. How fucking unlikely is this?!?!

I never thought I’d say it, but man what a piece of garbage this was. I understand that it needed to be done quickly (as explained in the last post) and given that I’m not going to trash it too hard. But I would rather watch boxing, which I totally despise (although Tyson-Givens was a good match). I guess in the end Pike lives happily ever after with Vina on planet Talos IV? Not really sure.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 13 down 67 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 11 - THE MENAGERIE 1

2011-12-13T09:17:00.002-05:00

“Spock hijacks the Enterprise to take his crippled former captain, Christopher Pike, to the forbidden world of Talos IV. He then demands a court martial where he uses the events of "The Cage" to tell the tale of Pike's captivity on the planet years earlier"

For most of us The Menagerie is just another one of those lazy “clip” episodes. But we forget that The Cage had never aired in the 1960’s. They had already made this pilot episode, so instead of just forgetting about it, they actually did something very creative and worked it into two episodes. If we had watched The Menagerie back in 1966 I’m sure we would have though it to be a very good episode. Sadly I’ve seen The Cage, so having to basically rewatch it was rough. But, the writers worked together these two plots rather flawlessly.In fact it was taking them so long to produce these shows that Gene had to come up with a way to give them some more production time. So he put together these two scripts, both episodes could be filmed in one week. This gave them a two episode lead in production, previously they had been sending the episodes in three days before airing. That's just insane.

That being said, the non recycled scenes are awesome. In this particular episode we have Spock going against all protocol in order to return his former Captain Christopher Pike to Talos IV. Certainly his acts are incredibly treacherous and mutinous and I don’t see how he doesn’t get imprisoned for this. He literally steals the Enterprise and abandons Kirk. No matter how many times I’ve seen these, I always forget the ending! Which is good because now it makes me want to watch part 2.

Spock lies in order to get the Enterprise to the hospital that his holding Pike. Kirk, McCoy and Spock beam down … leaving Lt. Bailey in charge of the ship??? They see Cpt. Pike and he is messed up. His face is burned and he is sitting in a giant roomba. He can only communicate with beeping lights. I mean really? This is the best that they can do in the future. Think everything that we had seen in Enterprise. Now, the best they can do for Pike is put him in a bumper-car. They couldn’t even simulate a voice?

Chris Pike riding the
bumper cars on Coney Island

The episode ends with Kirk catching up the Enterprise in a shuttlecraft. Spock has taken Enterprise along with Pike and is heading for Talos IV. Once caught, Spock sentences himself to a court martial. Once at his trial Spock shows his evidence proving his actions are just. Spock has a TV or something and starts playing the episode of The Cage. So I’m thinking, who is filming this and how would they possibly do it? Well, Cmd. Mendez asks the same question. And there is an explanation, it is from the Talosians. This is what makes Star Trek so great, they always paid attention to the details. How many other sci-fi shows/movies from back then would have bothered to explain this? Basically none.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 12 down 68 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 10 - THE CORBOMITE MANEUVER

2011-12-12T10:34:00.001-05:00

"The Enterprise is menaced by a gigantic alien ship whose commander condemns the crew to death. The alien ship appears all-powerful and the alien commander refuses all attempts at negotiation, forcing Kirk to employ an unorthodox strategy to save the ship".

One of the best. The poker match between Kirk and Balok is just awesome to watch. It starts off with Kirk in sickbay for his physical, which he sort of fails and McCoy won’t let him forget it. Spock is in charge of the bridge when an odd glowing cube (a probe) harasses the ship. Meanwhile Kirk is drinking with McCoy and discussing his new diet. Spock tries everything to get away from the cube but it’s hopeless.

The only pic I could find,
pretty funny though.

Later, Kirk hails the bridge for an update … but he’s shirtless. He can see Spock, so I assume Spock sees him. It just seems very unprofessional. It would be like if your boss called you into his office and he was shirtless. So anyway, the cool thing about this episode is that it uses every major character (except Chekov who at this point doesn’t exist). They have a meeting regarding this probe and we see Spock, Kirk, McCoy, Sulu, Scotty and Uhura in there. Also some fool named Lt. Bailey, he’s irritating and a total headcase.

A very strange thing happened though. I was looking at this Lt. Bailey and was thinking that he looks exactly like the Professor from Gilligan’s Island. Well I looked it up and he is not. But, a background character was! His name is John Gabriel and he played the Professor in the original pilot. Strange. There are parts to this episode that are filmed like a reality show, in which a shaky camera follows someone around. It’s kind of cool and sort of ahead of its time.

Back to the story: suddenly an enormous ship shows up and we see Balock. An obvious puppet, but it looks pretty decent considering (also voice by Ted Cassidy). He gives the Enterprise ten minutes before it is destroyed. No negotiation. This is where Kirk employees the Corbomite Maneuver. He tells Balok that he has a corbomite device that will destroy any ship that destroys the Enterprise. After they do the countdown from 10 -1, which always reminds me of Spaceballs (Have a nice day. Thank you), it is clear that Balok has fallen for Kirks bluff.

Now Balok has a bluff of his own. He sends a small ship that pulls the Enterprise in a tractor beam. He will take the crew to an Earth like planet and then destroy the ship. He claims that his small vessel is very powerful. None of this makes any sense and Kirk knows it. They escape the tractor beam.

Here is where it gets really weird. Balock sends out a distress call because now his tiny vessel is incapacitated. Kirk decides to board the ship and help him. Now we see the real Balok. It is a very young, yet still disturbingly hideous Clint Howard! Well, it was all a test. And the Enterprise passed. You see, Balok is all by himself and lonely, he just wants a friend. Lt. Bailey volunteers to stay with him (why???). Sure the ending is ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense. But what the hell, this episode is so damn good.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 11 down 69 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 9 - DAGGER OF THE MIND

2011-12-11T14:37:00.001-05:00

“While on a re-supply mission to a rehabilitation colony for the criminally insane, the Enterprise crew discovers that the chief doctor has been using a device which destroys the human mind, and has imprisoned Kirk and his companion.”

This episode was strange because it started off decent, it sort of lagged in the middle and then the ending was awesome. I ended up considering this episode for one of my top 10 favorite TOS episodes. The episode begins with a convict emerging from a cargo container on the Enterprise (evidently he has escaped from the penal colony in a very stereotypical style, might as well hide in some laundry). He then knocks out a security guard with the classic karate chop to the back of the neck. I’m not even going to say who this guy looks like, I’m not going to go to the same well for a third time. Anyway, this dude’s acting SUCKS (to be fair Morgan Woodward is a good actor, he’s just bad here)

They discover he is a Doctor from the penal colony, his partner Dr. Adams runs the facility. McCoy is suspicious of this other doctor and asks Kirk to check him out. Kirk is irritated by this and asks McCoy to find him a capable doctor to take down to the surface. McCoy is probably a bit insulted, but he has a good way to get even. He sends a Dr. of psychology to accompany Kirk and to Jim’s surprise it is a girl that he had a one night stand with at the Christmas Party … no I’m not making this up.

Of course this girl is unbelievably cute. But , she’s more than a pretty face, she’s also a great character. I really liked her. While Rand and Uhura are lame and insignificant, Dr. Noel actually has an interesting job duty. Her acting is very good and the character is smart and rather tough. There’s a lot more depth to her than the typical skanks that they have for characters. Marianna Hill co-starred in an Elvis movie and was in High Plains Drifter and The Godfather II.

Dr. Adams (played by James Gregory/Gen. Ursus) has been brainwashing these convicts and he eventually turns the machine on Kirk. In a great scene, Kirk is fighting for control of his own mind and succeeding. He eventually pretends to be brainwashed. He makes a plan with Dr. Noel and she crawls into the venting system (oh and under those tiny skirts they are wearing shorts). She eventually turns off the power to the facility but not before she actually kills a guy. So basically Adams was crooked and he messed up his partner with this mind control machine. This episode marks the first appearance of the Mind-Meld.

Really though, what happen to the female uniforms from the time of Enterprise until TOS? Seems like woman’s rights have gone backwards. Also Spock’s ears are HUGE. Well this was a good episode, it takes a look at both mind control and criminal reformation. I liked it because of the chemistry between Kirk and Noel … it’s a shame they never used this character again.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 10 down 70 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 8 - MIRI

2011-12-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

“After discovering what appears to be a duplicate of the planet Earth, Captain Kirk and his landing party find a population ravaged by a strange disease, which only children appear to have survived”

You know when Kirk sees a nice looking woman and he gets that phony nice guy look on his face? Then he puts on this big charming guy act? I always referred to that as Kirk’s “Cute Captain” routine. Well let me tell you, the Cute Captain was in full effect in this episode. The disturbing thing is that he’s hitting on a 13 year old girl. In fact this entire episode is disturbing and full of holes, but it’s damn entertaining.

Miri is actually played by a 19 year old Kim Darby, who was excellent in the original True Grit … she had also been married twice by 1970. So basically, Kirk’s actually hitting on a woman that’s been around the block once or too many times. As the entire away crew begins to contract this deadly disease (that only affects adults) the children plot to kill them all. They capture Rand and lure Kirk into a schoolroom where they beat him with clubs and pipes … it’s actually a somewhat frightening scene. Kirk literally tosses some of these kids around like rag dolls which is funny, and he manages to rip his shirt for like the 5^th time in 8 episodes.

I never noticed how much they use Yeoman Rand in season one, so far she has been in almost every episode and Uhura is barely in any. Either way, I can’t stand both characters. So anyway, these kids are the ugliest little things. If you combined the entire cast of the movie Freaks! into one hideous monster, it would be at least 10x cuter than these bogglins. And God are they friggin annoying. The leader boy looks like John C. Riley’s giant head on the body of a 12 year old and this other kid looks a Shetland Pony.

How is there an exact replica of Earth? Not only that, but they invented all of the same stuff, built the same looking structures, created the same language and they even had tricycles. I was expecting an explanation from Spock, but it never happened. What Spock did manage to discover is something that doesn’t make sense – he said that these children age “one month every hundred years” so they must be “well over 300 years old”. Seeing how many of them are at least 10, wouldn’t this make them thousands of years old?? I went back to the scene and he does indeed say this. Anyway, Kirk wins over the kids and McCoy discovers a cure. He nearly dies by testing the medicine on himself, but of course he survives. One thing that I failed to mention throughout these episodes is the awesome “back and forth” tension between Spock and McCoy. It seems like McCoy really hates aliens and Spock really hates McCoy. Very funny stuff. Anyway, in the end McCoy cures the children and Kirk calls Starfleet and has them send some teachers and whatever. Even though Miri is probably one of the worst TOS episodes I’d still give it a B.

PS: I just read that most of those ugly kids had been played by the children of the actors (Shatner, Grace Lee Whitney etc). It’s hard to believe that Yeoman Rand is 81 years old.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 9 down 71 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 7 - WHAT LITTLE GIRLS ARE MADE OF

2011-12-09T10:00:00.001-05:00

"In search of Nurse Chapel's fiancé, renowned exobiologist Roger Korby, the Enterprise visits the icy planet Exo III, where Korby has discovered an ancient machine which allows him to duplicate any living person with an android replacement."

Well, there was bound to be a mediocre episode at some point. To be honest, it may have been a lot better if it wasn’t geared around Nurse Chapel … I mean her acting is just so bad. But one thing totally saves this episode and that is Sherry Jackson as Andrea the android. I could not stop looking at her, she is wearing very little and is painfully sexy. Seeing her standing next to that scarecrow Majel Barrett just makes her even more beautiful. I mean Barrett looks like my grandmother, and she’s dead!

While down on the planet Kirk and Chapel discover that the doctor was making androids and may have been planning to take over the galaxy. He uncovered this technology when he landed on this planet and found Lurch (who is the keeper of these androids). Evidently if you spin a person around very fast then a robotic duplicate is created. Ted Cassidy is looking just as gigantic as ever and it’s insane to see him toss Kirk (or his stunt double) around like a ragdoll. An android pulls a gun on Kirk and no shit, he uses Andrea as a human shield. At this point he’s not aware that she is anything but human, so this is an incredibly disturbing move on Kirk’s part.

Kirk attacks Ruk with a giant dildo

I guess it’s a bit lame that a few episodes ago there was a duplicate Kirk and now in this episode the same thing happens. But, it’s done so differently that I really didn’t even think of that until the episode was over. So android Kirk ends up on the Enterprise and he steals information for Dr. Korby. Meanwhile real Kirk is trapped on the surface. He was told that Andrea the android will do whatever she is told … so seriously Kirk orders her to make out with him. A total creep. But I must say, Kirk is actually getting some human responses out of these robots. Well finally It is discovered that Korby himself is an Android. After understanding that he is no longer human, Android Korby kills himself and Andrea. Another happy ending.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 8 down 72 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 6 - MUDD'S WOMEN

2011-12-08T10:00:00.000-05:00

This is why Classic Star Trek is so damn wonderful. Never has a show introduced so many memorable characters than Star Trek. I’m not just talking about the crew but every “villain” or guest star seems to stick in everyone’s mind … from the salt sucker to Charlie X. But, who is better than Harry Mudd?? I’ll go as far as to say that Mudd is one of the best characters in TV history. Has there ever been a villain more likable? Maybe, George Bush Jr. comes close. Really though, Roger Carmel did an awesome job with this portrayal.

Ater the Enterprise chases down a rogue cargo vessel, they transport the ship’s crew over to the Enterprise. It consists of Hardcourt Fenton Mudd (aka Walsh) and three lovely women. I’m always partial to the dark haired girls from Star Trek and this one is no exception. All the men become uncontrollably horny. Even Spock is acting like a giddy school boy. Kirk discovers that Mudd is a wanted criminal and a little bit crazy as well.

The Enterprise is on its way to Rigel 7 to pick up some well needed dillithium crystals. Mudd plans to sell off his women to the miners. Kirk soon figures out that Mudd has a special drug that makes his women irresistible and beautiful. While on Rigel 7 one of the women is sick of being treated like a sex object and refuses to take her pill, she turns ugly. Finally Kirk and Mudd give her the drug but it’s actually a placebo, nonetheless she still turns beautiful. So I guess the theme of this episode is that booty is in the … I mean beauty is in the whispering eye … I mean beauty is in the eye of the penis holder … no that’s not right, I mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder! That was really childish. Is that even the meaning of this episode? I have no idea???

Mudd’s Woman is an awesome episode, it’s not action packed but it is very funny (especially Harry Mudd) and it’s full of wonderful sexual innuendo. I am proud of myself for picking up on this … I’m not sure what it means if anything, but the names of the woman are Ruth, Eve and Magda. All bible references, with Magda being Magdalene. I love that in the end it seems as if Kirk and Mudd have become friends. Now I can’t wait for “I, Mudd”.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 7 down 73 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 5 - THE ENEMY WITHIN

2011-12-07T11:24:00.000-05:00

“While beaming up from planet Alpha 177, a transporter accident splits Captain Kirk into two beings: one "good", who is weak and indecisive; and one "evil", who is overly aggressive and domineering. Scotty must quickly repair the transporter system to reunite the two Kirks and rescue the landing party trapped on the surface of the icy planet below.”

Five episodes in and already this series has more meaning than all of Enterprise combined. This episode takes a look at man’s good and evil side, and how we need both our positive and negative aspects in order to function. In the beginning we have the crew on this planet and Sulu is holding a weird dog creature. He comments to Kirk that the weather is going to get “nippy”, whether this is meant to be a weird racist joke I have no idea. Some dude gets transported up and has all of this weird powder on his suite. Scotty tells him to go contaminate himself … then he walks around the ship in order to find this contamination room?? The dog and Kirk get beamed up and both get split into good and evil versions.

Evil Kirk has the greatest facial expressions ever. He goes to see McCoy and says the greatest line, “I said gimme the brandy!” Then for possibly the 4^th time in five episodes, Yeoman Rand almost gets raped! This ship is more dangerous than the Penn State locker room (yes, I will never let this joke go). Anyway, she is only saved because Lt. Leslie shows up … who was also Lt. Ryan in Naked Time. It’s interesting to note that this actor (usually as Lt. Leslie) shows up in something like 57 episodes.

Leonard Nimoy looks so old for some reason, he’s very wrinkly. Anyway, Kirk again has his shirt off and he has the same body as every “jacked” guy from the 60’s. It’s like they ONLY worked out the arms. Fuck the rest of the body, just give me half way decent arms. Oh so when Evil Kirk attacks Rand he tries to kiss her, and it’s the oddest kiss ever. It’s like Shatner has no idea what he’s doing … which is also viewed in the pathetic Shatner sex scene attempt in Big Bad Momma. Which leads me to believe that William Shatner was a virgin well into the 1980’s.

Good Kirk’s mind starts to slip and Spock realizes that the good and evil Kirk’s need each to survive. Evil Kirk attacks Good Kirk and nearly takes over the ship but they meet up on the bridge. There is a classic “which is the real one?” moment. Finally they sort of become friends and they go onto the transporter to merge together with the help of Scotty. Meanwhile Sulu and crew have been freezing to death stuck on the planet surface. The merge of Good and Evil Kirk is successful and Sulu is saved. In the end there is an odd scene in which Spock hits on Rand, but this may actually make sense because it shows Spock’s human side. Kirk has a good line, “I’ve seen a part of myself that no man should ever see”. I can only assume he means his ass. This episode is awesome.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 6 down 74 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 4 - NAKED TIME

2011-12-06T10:23:00.001-05:00

Overall a finely acted episode, and possibly George Takei’s best performance. I remember this episode as being sort of goofy, but it wasn’t at all. I mean sure out of every possible thing that Sulu could have done, he chooses to fence people to death, but hey whatever. Spock cries and becomes very emotional (again well acted by Nimoy) and Kirk smacks him around (wonderfully overacted by Shatner).

Kirk and Spock and um … Joe, go down to the planet to retrieve some scientists. Once there they discover everyone is dead, in addition to this Spock also declares a mannequin dead. No shit. This thing is an obvious department store mannequin. Like they couldn’t have had an extra simply lie down?? So, of course Joe has to take off the glove to his contamination suit and start touching everything and apparently picking his nose. Then we see a thick liquid substance move towards his hand. Kind of like the black oil from X-Files, same idea.

Returning to the ship everyone else becomes infected by this stuff. Except for a few (Uhura, Scotty, McCoy etc). Lt. Riley gets the shit on him and turns into a typical annoying Irish guy. He then takes over the ship engine room and starts plummeting the ship towards the planet surface. A funny line occurs when Spock is crying about not telling his mother that he loved her, he’s thinking about how hard it must have been for a human to live on Vulcan, a planet with “No love, no emotions and bad taste”.

McCoy discovers a cure and starts injecting everybody. He rips Kirk’s shirt with seriously no effort, what a piece of crap. Obviously not Hanes. We also see that poor Number One has been demoted to a Nurse, how the mighty have fallen. Oh yeah and Joe dies.

Spock uses a theory that works in calculations but has never been tested. It’s actually sort of interesting so I’ll just steal the description … and here it is : ” To avoid crashing into the planet, Captain Kirk orders that they are now forced to attempt a full-power restart, mixing the matter and antimatter in a cold state. To prevent the starship's warp engines from exploding, they will need to balance them into a "controlled implosion", but this has never been done before. Spock explains the physics behind this: that there is an intermix formula based on the theoretical relationship between time and antimatter, but this theory has never been tested out in an actual starship.”

It works and it sends them three days into the past. Spock comments that this opens up some possibilities for future use of time travel. Which had already been proven a few hundred years earlier in the show Enterprise! Jesus, didn’t Spock watch that show?

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 5 down 75 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 3 - WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE

2011-12-05T10:40:00.003-05:00

"After the Enterprise attempts to cross the Great Barrier at the edge of the galaxy, crew members Gary Mitchell and Elizabeth Dehner develop "godlike" psychic powers which threaten the safety of the crew."

This is one of my favorites. And I'm annoyed that I didn't watch this after The Cage because technically this is the Pilot episode, but it was aired on TV as the 2nd episode. Some things are a bit off, like the uniform shirt colors (only yellow and blue ... and yellowish orange or something), also there is an issue with the doctor. The deal is that McCoy is not there. Instead we have an elderly doctor named Piper and a female doctor named Dehner. Now, because I'm crazy and I had to rationalize this or else it would annoy the hell out of me, I figured that the ship probably has a few doctors. They could be on different decks etc, having one doctor for an entire starship seems crazy. For this episode I imagine that McCoy is working a different shift or something. Hmm, yes this makes me feel better.

Now the fact that they made this woman a doctor and not a nurse, is rather noteworthy. I'm sure in the 60's woman doctors were very rare. And this woman is beautiful. TOS typically uses slutty looking 60's go-go girls, but Dr. Dehner is just very beautiful. With good reason because she is played by a very young Hot-Lips Houlihan.

After going through the great barrier, the Enterprise encounters the recording system for the Valient. After listening to it, they find out that the ship was self destructed. Suddenly the ship is hit by some kind of energy field, Helmsman Gary Mitchell and Dr. Dehner are knocked out. Mitchell awakens with weird looking eyes and telekinetic powers. I like Mitchell as a character, he's generally likable ... except when he's trying to take of the universe. He's played by Gary Lockwood, who is Dr. Poole from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Overall acting in this episode is an A+.

This episode shows humanities willingness to play God ... like Jim Caviezel. Gary Mitchell takes these new found powers and attempts to become God. Meanwhile Dr. Dehner aquires the same powers but it is hesitant on abusing them. This shows that not all humanity is bad, and we even see a glimpse of Gary's villinous side earlier in the episode. He tells Kirk of a rather mean practical joke that Gary himself played on Jim back at the academy. Clearly these two are old friends because they are on a first name basis, even on the bridge. But Gary is a helmsman and Kirk the captain, maybe Mitchell is jealous.

After fleeing to a planet, Kirk confronts Gary (with the help of Dehmer). Mitchell shows Kirk his own grave (complete with incorrect tombstone, I guess Gary's not as smart as he thinks). Kirk has a great line, telling Mitchell "absolute power will corrupt absolutely". Finally the Captain traps Gary in the grave by causing an avalanche ... but is he dead? Who knows. But, Dr. Dehner dies.

Kirk's shirt rips during the fight scene with Gary Mitchell, but in various scenes it is suddenly not ripped at all. Classic production mistake. Another thing about these shirts, they are way too short. Every time a guy lifts his arms I see their stomach and underwear. Seriously. So anyway, great stuff. William Shatner's acting is wonderful in this episode.I just don't get why they would air this episode 2nd, people just watched an episode in which McCoy was the main character ... and now he's gone???

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 4 down 76 to go

customer surveys

Star Trek TOS: Episode 2 - CHARLIE X

2011-12-04T19:06:00.002-05:00

After picking up a boy from Thasus, a cargo vessel passes him off on the Enterprise for transport to Alpha V. The crew of the vessel tells Kirk what a great kid Charlie is. Meanwhile he is a gigantic shithead. To be honest this dude looks like he’s 30, not a teenager, and his head is disturbingly bulbous. For the rest of the episode Charlie stalks Yeoman Rand, he’s a total creep. But in his defense, can that skirt get any shorter?? Charlie has these mental powers and he can pretty much do anything; he makes people lose their voice, lose their face, turn into lizards and he makes Spock recite poetry. This episode I believe is the first appearance of three dimensional chess, Kirk beats Spock by making random moves. Anyway, just as Charlie is about to cause total chaos, the Thasians show up and explain that they had given Charlie these powers when he was abandoned on Thasus as a child, he needs to return to the planet because his powers are too risky for the universe. Charlie pleads to Kirk not to make him go back, he says that the Thasians don’t understand human needs. Kirk could care less and Charlie is taken away. Not my favorite, but not the worst.

I realized how much I like this theme song, it almost makes me happy. The opening sequence looks very good for a 60’s show. But I must say, what the hell happened to the medical profession from the time of Phlox to McCoy? Dr. Phlox basically brought Trip back from the dead twice and the best that McCoy has is that stupid ‘push these blocks with your legs’ contraption … what the hell is that?? Why would lying on your back and pushing on blocks with your legs do a damn thing!

Also the scene in which Kirk shows Charlie how to fight .... just ridiculous. First of all this is the shittiest gym ever. There’s probably gyms in Compton that look nicer than this. Then we have every guy wearing ballet tights, don’t really wanna see that. Nor do I wish to see William Shatner shirtless, wrestling a teenage boy. He’s the original Jerry Sandusky! PS: I hate Charlie more than any other ST character.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 3 down 77 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 1b - THE MAN TRAP

2011-12-03T11:22:00.001-05:00

You know, after watching The Cage I was thinking “man, Jeffrey Hunter is really good”. After watching Man Trap I was thinking “Fuck Jeffrey Hunter, William Shatner is the shit”. And, he really is. Typically it takes awhile for actors to get into the role. Sometimes you go back and watch the first few episodes of a series and you can see that the acting is a bit off. But, damn it Shatner had Captain Kirk down from day 1 (although technically, this isn’t the 1^st produced episode with this crew … but Bill is just as good in that one as well). Captain Kirk is so pompous, funny, charming and somewhat of a bad ass. You have to love him, or love to hate him. The thing is, I don’t think that William Shatner is really even acting. His best line in the episode is when he tells Bones to “Stop thinking with your glands”.

The stardates for TOS are all over the place and I’m not going to be that crazy and attempt to figure out the real order to watch them.

“The Enterprise arrives at planet M-113 for routine medical exams of archaeologist Professor Robert Crater and his wife Nancy.” Nancy is McCoy’s old flame and he is acting pretty fruity (by the way DeForest Kelly as Bones is one of my all time favorite TV characters – very reminiscent of Trip actually). So Kirk, McCoy and um … Darnell go down to plant M-113 (which I swear is also the name of a Hispanic gang). While there, every guy sees Nancy as a different sexy woman, which is weird. And then surprise, surprise, poor Darnell dies.

So Spock comes on down to M-113 with um … Sturgeon and Green. Well guess who dies next? Everyone ends up back on Enterprise and now we see that Nancy can shapeshift into different people. Including different men, she turns into a fine black man and tries to suck off Uhura. They speak Swahili together … as if this language would even exist in the future?!?! People don’t even really speak Latin, arguably the greatest language ever constructed. Anyway, Crater explains to Kirk that this is really a creature that lives off of salt … she is sucking off these guys for their salt.

Again the insane sexism in the TOS series is shown as Rand walks down the hallway to the rude catcalls of the male crew. She nearly gets attacked by the salt-sucker but escapes. Finally Nancy (salt-sucker) attacks McCoy but Kirk jumps in and takes the attack himself. Bones has an opportunity to shoot, but he can’t because it still looks like Nancy. Spock arrives and yells the classic line “It’s killing the captain!”. Then in one of the weirdest scenes in all of Star Trek, Spock proceeds to repeatedly beat this woman in the face. Makes me laugh every time. Now we FINALLY get to see what this creature looks like, and it is one ugly muthafucka. It vaguely resembles Rod Stewart actually.

This is still one of my favorite episodes. They did remarkable things with a limited budget throughout this entire series. Something is comforting about the use of colors on the ship interior, the sets and the bright uniforms. This is one thing that Enterprise was sorely lacking. I don’t see how this show wasn’t an instant hit, just for its visuals … I mean what was the most eye opening thing on TV at this time, Bewitched? ….Interesting Note: Jeffrey Hunter was in a movie named Man Trap.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 2 down 78 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 1a (Pilot) - THE CAGE

2011-12-02T12:07:00.003-05:00

For a Pilot, this episode is extraordinary. It looks good, the “effects” are surprisingly well done and the acting I really enjoy. While it’s not Shatner, I think Jeffrey Hunter makes a great captain as Christopher Pike … and the doctor is John Hoyt who was the grandfather on Gimme A Break! The doctor is a decent character, certainly McCoy is better, but I like how his solution to Pike’s personal problems was to make him drink martinis. It’s interesting to note that this pilot seems to have more women in key roles than the rest of TOS, in fact the first officer is a woman (Majel Barrett). Although in typical fashion, Pike says that he hates having women on the bridge.

The plot begins with the Enterprise picking up a distress call from planet Talos. A research ship had crashed there a few years earlier. Pike and crew beam done and find the survivors; they are a bunch of gross old guys and one insanely beautiful woman. Thus begins a long run of sexy woman guest star in Star Trek TOS. Come to find out this is all an illusion set up by the Talosians. They plan to have Pike mate with this woman in order to create slave labor children. They are probing Pike’s mind and using this to turn this girl (Vina) into different hot chicks. But, he resists all of them. Now if this was Kirk – a) the Talosians would be disgusted by probing his mind and b) he would have had sex with this woman within 10 minutes.

Pike begins to resist the mind probes. He finds out that Vina is actually real; she survived the original crash but is really horribly disfigured. The Talosians eventually give up and let Pike go, because they say that humans are to violent ... take that! He offers to take Vina away, but she would rather stay there and be beautiful. Haha so sexist. In the end the Talosians give Vina a fake Pike to live with... The best seen is when Pike rips the Talosian out of the wall and tries to choke the shit out of him.

I love this episode, as I do many TOS eps. It looks good, colorful sets, the ship is cool and the aliens look realistic. Sure some parts are just ridiculous, like some weird pig creature that looks like Jodi the Pig from Amenityvile Horror and a weird caveman with jacked up teeth (actually looks exactly like the Thrall from Gamesters of Triskallion). They also have numerous references to the Orion Slave trade in this one. Anyway, an interesting fact is that the first time this episode was ever seen on TV was in 1988. Sadly Jeffrey Hunter died only a few years later in 1969 after suffering a stroke and cerebral hemorrhage. Susan Oliver, the woman that played Vina, ended up becoming a rather renowned airplane pilot.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 1 down 79 to go

STAR TREK (2009)

2011-12-01T18:02:00.000-05:00

STARDATE: 2258

I figured this would be the way to go, as apposed to just jumping into TOS. The movie depicts the entire TOS Enterprise crew in their early days. So it just made sense to watch it now. Anyway...to the movie.

I'm not going to do a play-by-play of the entire Film, I'm sure we've all seen it. I can say that I was pleasantly surprised by the movie. I was nervous at the alternate timeline idea, I typically hate this. But it was perfectly written and JJ Abrams did an excellent job at executing the script. The premise was totally plausible and it fits into the Star Trek universe nicely. Spock is locked in a battle with Nero (a Romulan) and they accidentally end up going back in time through a black hole. When you go back in time, time is slightly altered. So the audience is thrown back into a prequel of TOS in which facts are a bit off ... but not too much.

I love the idea of having Christopher Pike in the film. And, the dynamic between Kirk and Spock (basically as enemies) is excellent. The entire cast is top notch. I think Zach Quinto and Chris Pine really shined. And honestly Simon Pegg was a really good Scotty. Also you can't beat a cameo by Leonard Nimoy. I wish William Shatner was in it though ... they could have had Chris Pine Kirk meet William Shatner Kirk and then he can see how fat he ends up being. Seeing the Kelvin and the Enterprise in probably the best quality production to date was really cool. So, like I said I was surprised. The writing, production and acting in this film are all home runs; very entertaining. GRADE: A

STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE - Not too bad and Not too good

2011-12-01T10:26:00.005-05:00

Years: 2001-2005

Seasons: 4

Episodes: 98
Stardate: 2151 - 2155

Ship: Enterprise NX-01

Captain: Johnathan Archer

Well my one episode a day idea didn’t quit work out, I fell a month short and that includes nearly killing myself by watching up to six episodes per day over the past week. I wanted to begin watching TOS today and I will … sort of. You’ll see.

Anyway, here’s my synopsis. Enterprise was more flawed than not. It was so up and down in quality. It drove me crazy with the constant inconsistency. When you hear of a Star Trek prequel to TOS you immediately think that it is going to be a show full of origins. I’m sure that’s what everyone else was thinking. Somehow the writers of Enterprise failed to understand this notion. They used plot lines that add nothing to the Star Trek realm. Trek fans want links and continuity. These plots were also confusing and way to in-depth; the Xindi and the Temporal Cold War plots being just downright irritating.

I believe the biggest downfall to Enterprise was it’s constant use of story arcs. Star Trek has rarely used plots that continue of three episodes, never mind over an entire season. And even on a smaller scale, how many times in a series did Star Trek use “to be continued” episodes … Maybe a handful if that? Enterprise used it maybe 90% of the time. This series completely changed what Star Trek fans had been used to for many years.

For the most part I liked the casting. I’m still not sold on Bakula as Archer, I like him as an actor but I just never got into his character. Conner Trinneer as Trip, John Billingsley as Dr. Phlox and Jolene Blalock as T’pol were all fantastic actors and great characters. The rest, I could care less about. Enterprise did produce one of the greatest roles of Star Trek history and that was Jeffrey Combs as Shran. He was truly the highlight of the show. The episodes with Brent Spiner as Arik were equally as great.

The production was good. It’s going to be odd switching from Enterprise to TOS. But, at least TOS had color! Enterprise is very bland. The ships interior is so grey and boring, as is the uniforms.

Even though the plots were particularly dreadful at times, the show was still watchable. The writing was good, the characters engaging, the guest stars were a bright spot and the acting was very solid. So anyway, I guess I will give it some kind of grading system.

Writing: B

Plots: C

Acting: B+

Characters: B-

Entertainment: B-

TOTAL: B-

Enterprise: Episode 98 - These Are The Voyages...

2011-11-30T22:07:00.001-05:00

This was my first time actually seeing this episode. Back when Enterprise was on, I had tuned out sometime in Season three. let me just say that I am very pleased with this ending. I mean, wow, what a great episode. Brilliant idea and well executed. It starts off by showing Archer and crew on the last day of their commission. Suddenly you hear the voice of Johnathan Frakes asking the computer to pause. It's Riker on the holodeck! He then meets up with Deanna Troi. They reveal that Riker needs to make a decision on whether to tell Picard of a cover-up, he has gone into the holodeck and back to this time period in order to ease his mind. Troi tells him to be the ship chef because people always talk to the chef about their problems. So he does.

Archer is about to make a big speech on Earth, but he is contacted by Shran. Shran is asking for help in saving his kidnapped daughter. Of course Archer can't say no. Also, we see that T'Pol and Trip are still not together (it is 6 years since Terra Prime). Archer successfully saves Shran's daughter, once back on Enterprise he is visited by aliens that are seeking Shran. They are very hostile. Trip goads them into following him into a ship compartment. Then Trip causes an explosion killing all of the aliens ... and also himself. No really, this time he is actually dead. Archer makes it to his speech and gives a great one. Riker is now inspired and knows what he must do...a link to the TNG episode The Pegasus. The ending is fantastic. It shows the three Enterprise ships and does the classic speech ("These are the Voyages...) using the voices of Picard, Kirk and then Archer. And that's it. An awesome last episode.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 98 down 0 to go

Enterprise: Episode 97 - TERRA PRIME

2011-11-30T21:44:00.000-05:00

"A human isolationist leader threatens to destroy Starfleet Command unless all aliens leave Earth immediately"

Paxton is on Mars and is threatening to blow up Earth unless all non human leave the planet. I swear I've seen this plot on Bugs Bunny. Paxton has Trip, T'Pol and the baby with him. Evidently he created the baby so that he can use it as a bargaining chip...which seems really stupid. Trip rigs Paxton's device to malfunction. They stop him, but now the aliens are the conference are uneasy about an alliance. Archer makes a speech and convinces everyone to keep working towards unity. ....Oh also the baby dies.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 97 down 1 to go

Enterprise: Episode 96 - DEMONS

2011-11-30T15:34:00.000-05:00

"A xenophobic faction of humanity threatens to undermine talks to form a new coalition of planets"

Not the worst episode, but not the best either. Certainly the guest stars are top notch, Peter Weller as Paxton, Tom Bergeron, Peter Mensah (awesome on Spartacus) and Eric Pierpoint (the mayor from Buffy the vampire slayer). The crew are back on Earth, there is a conference with many alien races attending. They are discusing an alliance. Suddenly a woman appears (looks like Judith Light), she is shot and gives a vile to Trip saying "they are going to kill her". Phlox discovers that the vile has a hair sample from a baby .. with Trip and T'Pols DNA. The baby was created by Paxton, he heads an anti alien faction. So why would he want to create an alien/human hybrid? Haha, I seriously have no idea! Maybe i'll find out in the next episode.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 96 down 2 to go

Enterprise: Episode 94 - IN A MIRROR DARKLY pt. 2

2011-11-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

"In the Mirror Universe, Archer commandeers the 23rd-century Defiant from the Tholians and uses it in a nefarious power grab."

Archer discovers a futuristic Stafleet ship stuck in the Tholian Web, it is the Defiant. The same ship in which Kirk was sent to find in the Tholian Web episode ... i think. Anyway, Archer steals the Defiant. Bangs Hoshi like five times. Names himself emperor and kicks all of the aliens off of his ship. The aliens (T'Pol, Phlox etc) decide to fight back and the episode ends with Archer drinking poisoned champaigne. The episodes were not terrible, but to put them as some of the final episodes of the series is a weird move. Why would you nearly end the series with a story arc that adds nothing to Star Trek?

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 95 down 3 to go

Enterprise: Episode 94 - IN A MIRROR DARKLY pt. 1

2011-11-30T15:13:00.000-05:00

"In the Mirror Universe, Commander Archer mutinies against Captain Forrest in order to capture a future Earth ship found in Tholian space."

I honestly hate these mirror universe episodes. They add nothing to Star Trek universe and are just confusing. This was no exception. It's similar to all of the other mirror universe episodes (TOS,DS9), except this one takes place entirely in this universe. I like how they use the Tholian plot, including the Tholian Web. Like always, the crew is totally evil. At the end of this episode we see Archer overthrowing Forrest as ISS Enterprise Captain. Also, in this episode T'Pol is looking insanely sexy. She's been looking a bit run down in season 4, the short hair has begun to annoy me. But in this episode, wow. The best part of "In A Mirror" was the alternate theme song, it was dark and the clips were down right bad ass.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 94 down 4 to go

Enterprise: Episode 93 - BOUND

2011-11-30T08:51:00.000-05:00

"As a gift for negotiating with the Orion Syndicate, Archer receives three Orion Slave Girls, but these "gifts" have their own agenda. Meanwhile, Trip and T'Pol come to terms with the psychic bond that has been created between them"

Ah yes, the good old Orion Slave Girls. OK, so these one's are actually hot.Not really the most in depth episode, but I guess who really cares. The slave girls are in total control of every guy on the ship, they seem to have an agenda but I honestly forgot what it even was. The Slave Master wants the Federation to go into business with him, he has discovered some kind of ore on a planet...whatever. So, Trip ends up being like the only guy unaffected by the girls, I'm guessing the idea is that he likes T'Pol so much that he's oblivious to these girls. Oh ... and Trip is still on Enterprise "helping out". The episode makes a reference to some kind of Gorn made alcohol. Like a Gorn could make alcohol! Ha

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 93 down 5 to go

Episode 92 - DIVERGENCE

2011-11-30T08:40:00.000-05:00

"With the Columbia's help, the Enterprise crew grapples with sabotage to their ship as they pursue the truth behind the kidnapping of Phlox."

So Trip has transferred over to the Columbia because he's sick of T'Pol's bullshit. The Columbia is now assisting the Enterprise in saving Phlox. A Klingon/Augment is caught on the Enterprise and put in the brig, Archer also discovers Malcom's ploy and tosses him in the brig. The Malcolm plot is confusing and pointless, I guess he's being manipulated by a covert group that he is part of ... but it really doesn't lead anywhere.

Phlox cures the plague and is returned. Meanwhile the Klingons are shamed because they have messed up nearly a million of their people. These Klingons will now look more humanoid, hence the Klingon's from TOS are explained. They say that someday this genetic mutation might be reversible ... explaining why they have vanished. Also I think that this was alluded to in DS9. Excellent job Enterprise, I like this one.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 92 down 6 to go

Enterprise: Episode 91 - AFFLICTION

2011-11-30T08:25:00.000-05:00

"Phlox is kidnapped by the Klingons who are seeking to cure a disease. T'Pol's mental abilities grow after she conducts her first mind meld"

Remember when the Augments attacked the Klingons? Well, the Klingons had taken some of the Augment technology. They are attempting to make Klingon/Augment hybrids. They have unintentionally caused this sickness that they need Phlox to fix. Meanwhile, there is a mysterious plot in which Malcolm is trying to stop Archer from discovering what the Klingon's are up to. Well done episode ... also to be continued. Seth MacFarlane makes another appearance and he is looking insanely fat. I don't ever recall him being this large.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 91 down 7 to go

Enterprise: Episode 90 - THE AENAR

2011-11-29T18:38:00.000-05:00

"The drone Romulan ship that attacked the Andorians is under the control of an Aenar, an offshoot race of the Andorians. Archer and Shran join forces to rescue the Aenar and stop the Romulan plot."

So we see that the ships are being controlled by an Aenar which is an albino Andorian. They are a secluded and peaceful subspecies. Archer and Shran go to Andoria to locate them. Once there they recruit the sister of the renegade Aenar to get him back. She eventually uses her psychic abilities to cause her brother to destroy the Romulan ships. A few thing to note. First of all Jeffrey Combs is so friggin good on this show, this episode especially as he was not only his usual jerky self as Shran, but also had some tender moments as well. Also, I think the female Aenar was actually hot. Unfortunately her name was Jamel, which is also the name of the black kid that cracked open my head with a shaving cream can in High School. This is a total boner kill.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 90 down 8 to go