Star Trek DS9 Episode 47 - The Search pt. 1

"Sisko takes the new USS Defiant into the Gamma Quadrant to find the mysterious leaders of the Dominion and avert a war, while Odo is drawn by instinct towards his home planet in the Omarion Nebula."

So begins season three and part two of a three part story arch. Sisko has returned from a meeting back on Earth with his very own Starship. The Borg battling, Romulan cloaking, USS Defiant ... one of my favorite ships, along with the USS Enterprise and Shippensburg Pennsylvania. Actually I have never been there. Sisko is accompanied by a Starfleet appointed security chief named Lt. Eddington (much to Odo's dismay). So Sisko puts a crew together, of course it contains every main character on the show ... even Quark???? They will go on a journey to meet with the Dominion leaders. But of course they are attacked by the Jem'Hadar. Odo and Kira escape in a shuttlecraft and they take off towards the Omarion Nebula. There is a weird chemistry between these two and I'm not sure if Kira is attracted to him or not. Anyway, they land on a planet and walk up to a silvery lake. And, out walks a shit load of shape shifters. Odo's family.

47 down and 129 to go

Star Trek Generations

So now that season two of DS9 is over. I can finally watch Generations, because it sort of takes place about now in the timeline. Anyway, I really wanted to love this movie. But, I ended up just liking it.

The plot is this: Kirk, Scotty and Chekov are at a gathering for the maiden voyage of the Enterprise-B captained by Alan Ruck. They suddenly answer a distress call and nearly get sucked into some vortex (actually The Nexus). In the process Kirk goes missing and is assumed dead. Fast forward to a hundred years later. Picard and crew rescue this guy named Dr. Soran from a Romulan attack on his observatory. Geordi and Data (who has recently installed his emotion chip) go to examine the observatory and find a stash of Trilithium (dangerous stuff). Suddenly they are attacked by Soran. Soran and LaForge end up transported to a Klingon ship. Seems that Soran has been working with the Duras sisters on stealing the Trilithium.

Guinan recognizes Soran and tells Picard that he is dangerous and that he is obsessed with returning back to the Nexus. Seems that the Nexus is a place where your dreams come true. He is using the Trilithium to explode a sun or something in order to make an energy belt that carries him to the Nexus ... or something. Then he will us a 1985 Russian missile to explode a sun and cause the Nexus ... for some reason. Picard ends up fighting Soran on a planet trying to stop him from shooting the missile. But he is too late. Picard ends up in the Nexus where he meets Kirk! Kirk has been living a dream for the past one hundred years. Picard convinces him to come back and help stop Soran. So together they go "back in time" and stop the missile from being launched. Sadly Kirk is killed, this time for real.

After a battle with the Duras sisters, Riker separates the saucer section of the Enterprise and it crashes onto the planet. This is one of the best scenes in the movie. It is rather well done for a movie made in 1994. And it seems like people really get fucked up in the process. It's weird that a ship full of families seemingly has no plan for when the ship gets violently jostled. People just go flying everywhere!

So what did I learn from this movie? First of all, the plot was not really that good. Secondly, the "villain" was just down right boring (although Malcolm McDowell was great as always). Also, as much as I love Data, I hated him in this movie...he was just so annoying with that damn emotion chip. Finally, I realized how much better William Shatner is than everyone else. Yes, he is the campiest actor ever, but damn it he steals every scene.

Also, this Nexus thing. You could literally live any dream that you want. So it's just weird that both Picard and Kirk end up in places where they just seem sad. I was hoping that Picard would go to a reality where was roommates with Teen Wolf and Officer Poncherello. And they would travel the Silk Road in 100 AD solving mysteries. In a rickshaw being pulled by Nell Carter.

Star Trek DS9 Episode 46 - The Jem'Hadar

"Sisko, Jake, Nog, and Quark go camping on a Gamma Quadrant world, but are captured by mysterious soldiers called the Jem'Hadar and meet a force, the Dominion, to rival the Federation."

This was almost like a buddy cop film starring Sisko and Quark. Like Beverly Hills Cop. Or maybe I just totally imagined that. Anyway, I imagine that in the future people will not be camping. What's the point. So Sisko and Quark get captured by the Jem'hadar, a brutal organization that work for the Dominion. The Dominion are fighting against anyone that dares go through the wormhole.

Jake and Nog make it back to DS9 and get help. An epic battle ensues between the DS9 crew (in runabouts) along with the USS Odyssey versus the Jem'Hadar. Seriously though, why would they send O'Brien, Kira, Dax, Odo and Bashir into a battle??? Anyway, they fight the Jem'Hadar off but the Odyssey is destroyed do to a kamikaze attack.

So ends season two, with the realization the fight is far from over.

46 down and 130 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 45 - Tribunal

"O'Brien is declared guilty of an unspecified crime and later "tried" at a tribunal held on Cardassia Prime."

The thing is, I still don't know what the crime was?? Maybe I am just dumb, and that is totally possible, but I swear they never said what the charge was. I think it was for something that he did when he was stationed on the USS Rutledge. Regardless, it ends up being a sham. First of all, he is considered guilty until proven innocent...I mean what is this, the United States circa 2014?? Then come to find out that he is just being set up by a Cardassian spy that is surgically altered to look like his friend Raymond Boone. The episode did remind me how much I enjoy watching Colm Meaney, he is always so good. And I recommend everyone watch the show Hell on Wheels, top notch acting on that muthafucka. So yeah, Colm Meaney.

45 down and 131 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 44 - The Collaborator

"A Bajoran, secretary Kubus, who aided the Cardassian occupation forces wants to return home from exile. Vedek Winn engages in a power play to become kai against Vedek Bareil."

These Cardassian episodes just all start meshing together. They seem to all be about the same thing, some kind of treachery. Kira is in a relationship with Bereil who has a decent shot at being kai. That is until Odo finds out that he was responsible for some massacre. And then Kira finds out that he was just covering for someone. But non of that is important...

What is important is that Tom Villard is in this episode. He played Rick, one of the guys that were stranded on the desert island with Rose, Blanche and Dorothy in the Golden Girls episode "Vacation". This brings up the question, if you had to be trapped on a desert island with one of the Golden Girls...who would it be?

44 down and 132 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 43 - Crossover

"Kira and Bashir accidentally cross to the Mirror Universe, where a Klingon-Cardassian alliance rules. A century before, James T. Kirk had made a similar crossover, affecting human and galactic history. Terrans are slaves on the station."

This may have been the best episode of season two. I love when they link older series/episodes. So, in this one Kira and Bashir end up in the same universe that Kirk ended up in in Mirror, Mirror. The head of the station is an alernate version of Kira. They also meet up with evil Sisko and .... exactly the same O'Brien. They eventually end up convincing O'Brien and Sisko to help them get back home. I really enjoyed this one and I actually enjoyed the character of Kira for once. She seemed really sexy as her evil self.

So anyway, I ask you this. What if you went to an alternate universe and had sex with yourself. What If!?!?

43 down and 133 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 42 - The Wire

"In order to save Garak's life, Bashir must unravel some of the secrets in the Cardassian's past."

Bashir and garek are inner city cops in Baltimore…or whatever, i have never actually watched an episode of  The Wire, which i assume it sucks because everyone likes it. This was a decent episode and it explains why Deep Space Nine has such poor lighting. Like its all dark and than random neon lights are randomly placed up around the place like its what someone from the 80s would think a dance club would look like in the year 2000. Its because Kardashians built it to be low light (i guess they don't like bright light?? Garek complains it) so the federation just put up lights where ever they could find room.     

Whatever…Bashir and Garek are friends but don't seem to like each other and Garek has a headache (Bashir mentions he looks clammy though Karadashians always look terrible ). it turns out he had a pleasure circuit placed in his brain which he kept running for a long time because he was depressed. He had a boner 24-7. They can't seem to remove the circuit from his brain…though why not just teleport him but not teleport the circuit in his brain? seems like that would work for every medical problem.

How do tailors even work in the future when you can download your clothes?? On a station with only a few hundred people and everyone wears the same clothes every day.

Bashir is mentioned once again as being a "ladies man" even though he seems like a dork. He is genetically modified which gives him perfect hair which never gets messed up. It was a good episode, i liked that  Garek gave him like 3 different versions of his exile none of which was true. I'm still not sold on the Bashir character, but I'm starting to like Garak ... he seems like a mental patient.

42 down and 134 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 41 - The Maquis Pt. 2

Sisko confronts Hudson but ends up getting stunned. They return to DS9 to find Quark in jail (as Odo has since discovered his involvement with the Vulcan). Oh yeah and the Vulcan is in The Maquis. Also there is a Cardassian official on board and he tells Sisko that Dukat was smuggling weapons for some renegade Cardassian group. What I got out of this was that the Cardassians were indeed smuggling weapons on that freighter and this was an attempt to throw Dukat under the bus. But...also the Maquis are smuggling weapons too??

This plot is more confusing than The Dark Tower. So anyway, Sisko, Bashir and Odo go back to rescue Dukat. The Vulcan then confesses that The Maquis are about to blow up a large Cardassian weapons depot. Sisko and crew rush to the depot and have a final showdown with Hudson. Because neither man want to hurt the other, the fight is rather lame and Hudson eventually leaves.

So that is it. I'm not sure what to make of it. It was alright I guess. It's always fun to see horny Quark.


41 down and 135 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 40 - The Maquis Pt. 1

This episode marks the beginning of The Marquis which plays a fair role in The Voyager series. In fact this episode was used as a springboard for the Voyager Series. The Maquis is sort of a terrorist organization that protects Federation colonies that are living in Cardassian space. Seemingly DS9 is full of terrorists organizations.

Basically, we have a Cardassian freighter getting blown up. The saboteur is captured and the Cardassians find out that it is a human. Fearful of Cardassian retaliation Starfleet sends Lt. Commander Cal Hudson to patrol the border. Interesting fact, he is a relative of Ernie Hudson. And also Cal Ripken.

Lt. Hudson is an old friend of Sisko's and he informs Benjamin that the Cardassian freighter may have been smuggling weapons. Gul Dukat insists to Sisko that this is not true and offers to help him find the truth ... but soon Dukat is kidnapped by The Maquis. Sisko, Kira and Bashir take off in a runabout to find him and end up on a deserted planet named The Badlands. Here they are confronted by the Maquis and with them is Cal Hudson!

Meanwhile Quark is helping a Vulcan woman acquire weapons. Seemingly he just want to get into her pants and really isn't thinking much about what he is helping her do.

40 down and 136 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 39 - Blood Oath

"Jadzia Dax honors an oath made by Curzon Dax to three Klingons (Kor, Koloth, and Kang), and goes with them on a crusade against their sworn enemy "the Albino" who murdered their firstborn children as revenge for stopping his raid on a Klingon colony."

So here's the deal. The plot is sort of dumb and the episode itself was not that great.  I have come to really dislike the character of Dax, not at all interesting. BUT, this episode did have a few cool nuances.

They brought back the three original actors from TOS to play Kang, Kor and Koloth. Michael Ansara as the classic Klingon, Kang (Day of the Dove) ... also he was married to Barbara Eden??? William Campbell as Koloth, from Touble With Tribbles, he was also Trelane in Squre of Gothos. Finally, John Colicos as Kor from the great episode Errand of Mercy.

The story itself was supposed to be an ode to Seven Samurai, which I guess I can see but really who gives a shit. Also the outside shots of the Albino's house where of the Millard House in California, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. But really, who give a shit.

39 down and 137 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 38 - Profit and Loss

"Quark is reunited with his former Cardassian lover, Natima Lang, but she is engaged in dangerous political intrigue with her students Rekela and Hogue: they want to reduce the political power of the Cardassian military."


No way Quark was banging this chick. Also, her last name is Lang??? She is a political outcast and wanted by the Cardassians. Odo and Garak, seeing that she is wanted, hunt her down and capture her. Gul Toran shows up and offers Garak a deal, if he kills the outcast then Garak will be allowed back on Cardassia. In the end Garak chooses to kill Toran instead and Quark professes his love for Natima.


I just didn't like seeing Quark as a passionate and loving creature. It just didn't make sense.


38 down and 138 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 37 - Playing God

Dax is training a young Trill named Arjin to be a host. He is very timid and reserved. Dax spends the episode trying to break him out of his shell. Meanwhile O'Brien is dealing with an outbreak of Cardassian Voles that are causing havoc around the ship. Meanwhile a small mass is floating around the ship causing problems. Dax discovers that the mass is actually a tiny Universe, which is very interesting actually. In the end Arjin takes the proto-universe and releases it into the wormhole, finally breaking out of his shell.


All in all, it was a very forgettable episode.


37 down and 139 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 36 - Shadowplay

Odo and Dax go to a planet to investigate the disappearance of villagers. There is not much to say about this one. Come to find out that the entire thing was a hologram and that the people are disappearing because the generator is failing. Only one man is real and he created the entire thing.

What was interesting about this episode, is that it had good character development for Odo. He shows emotion over being an orphan and bonds with a child who is in a similar situation. DS9 does a great job developing characters.

36 down and 140 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 35 - Paradise

O'Brien and Sisko get trapped on a planet where the inhabitants shun technology. They force the two men to stay there and work in the fields. Maybe they do not want to be found out or something, I really didn't get it. Anyway, something about Sisko being forced to work in a field is mighty uncomfortable.


It's a very typical, Original Series type of episode. Nothing special.


35 down and 141 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 34 - Whispers

What a weird episode. So O'Brien is at a conference on some planet. Next thing you know he is back on the ship and he is becoming paranoid because everybody is talking behind is back and Sisko is giving him pointless work. At one point Sisko and Kira confront him with phasers while Bashir tries to inject him with a sedative. O'Brien manages to escape DS9 on a runabout and make his way to back to the planet where all of this began. All the time being followed by another runabout.

On the planet he is confronted by Sisko and Kira. Suddenly the door opens and in walks .... another Miles O'Brien! It seems as if we had been watching the entire episode through the eyes of the Miles clone. A rebel faction had created this clone to assassinate a delegate. In the end he is shot and killed.


34 down and 142 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 33 - Armageddon Game

I very much enjoyed this episode. It involves O'Brien and Bashir. They are on a mission to dismantle all the biological weapons that have been amassed by two warring races, the T'Lani and the Kellerun. Just as Bashir is about to shut down the final weapon Kellerun soldiers burst in and start shooting everybody. Bashir and O'Brien escape in a Runabout down to the planet surface. The planet is decimated by war and the seek refuge in some ruins.


Meanwhile, in a classic war time ploy, the Kellerun create a fake video showing the death of Bashir and O'Brien. The crew morn them, but Kieko has doubts. She notices in the video that Miles is drinking coffee, something she says he never does. After investigating the death site, Dax manages to unravel the plot and the find the two men (Miles however being near death due to an infection). After recovery, Miles comments to Keiko that he does indeed drink coffee. So the entire rescue effort was done by complete coincidence.


Well done. I recommend this one.


33 down and 143 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 32 - The Alternate

"Odo's former teacher believes he has found a life form similar to Odo in the Gamma Quadrant"

This episode sort of reminds me of a TOS episode. Like Man Trap or something. This new life-form (which ends up not being the same as Odo) seems to be transforming into a monster and attacking the crew. This monster actually ends up being Odo. The life form is some how causing him to transform and become violent.

It was an OK episode and I enjoyed seeing Odo out of his element.


32 down and 144 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 31 - Rivals

Quarks' con artist rival (Martus) arrives on DS9 with a device that changes probabilities. After being arrested by Odo, for conning people, he activates the device and soon his luck changes. He opens a bar and starts to put Quark out of business.

Meanwhile, O'Brien is trying to get in shape by playing racquetball with Bashir. (didn't racquetball go out of public favor in the 1980's???). In order to make money Quark secretly starts a gambling ring to bet on O'Brien and Bashir's matches. When O'Brien actually wins, Sisko becomes suspicious and it sets off a series of events that lead to him discovering Martus's device. Because surely, fat slob O'Brien could never win at racquetball.

This episode guest starred Barbara Bosson who was on my second favorite cop show of all time, Hill Street Blues ... number one being In The Heat of The Night.

31 down and 145 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 30 - Sanctuary

This race called the Skreeas or something, arrive on DS9. They are fleeing their dying world are searching for a new home, they believe that their rightful place is on Bajor. The Bajoran government is like, "no way, we are in the midst of a famine and we are not taking in millions of new people". Sisko and Kira find a nice new world for them to live on, but they are adamant about going to Bajor. In the end they have no choice and must be relocated to Draylon 2. The Skreeas tell the Bajorans that it's their loss, because they are a culture of farmers and could have helped the Bajorans overcome the famine. Which is bullshit. First of all just because you can farm doesn't negate the fact that you are adding millions of more mouths to feed. They may be able to feed themselves but most likely the Bajorans would still starve. Plus based on the fact that they acted like self centered dicks the entire time on DS9, I highly doubt they would even help anyone but themselves. Never mind the fact that the Bajorsn have no idea what type of people are coming to your planet; are there diseased people? are there violent people? are there at least any hot chicks???


Also the late Andrew Koenig was in this episode, that makes me sad.


30 down and 146 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 29 - Second Sight

I am not going to lie. I fell asleep about half way into this one.


Evidently it is the anniversary of Sisko's wife's death and he is feeling melancholy (is that even the right word??). He eventually notices a beautiful woman named Fenna and starts to romance her. So much for his dead wife. Then I fell asleep.


So I looked up the ending and Fenna ends up being a hologram or something. Let me just say one more thing about this episode, I found that actress that played Fenna to be stunningly beautiful. Her name is Salli Richardson and she was also on that show Eureka ... which I have never seen.


29 down and 147 to go