Book Storezzzzzzzzzzzz

I hate Book Stores. Their I said it! I go there looking for a book yet they never have it so I ask the guy at the desk if they have it and they will either A) go over to the shelf and look at the same exact spot I was looking at, wow thanks because I don't know the fucking alphabet and I couldnt find the author or B) they will order the book for me. They really seem to want to order the book for me but really I wish they wouldn't. Now instead of just getting the book on amazon.com I have to wait 3 weeks for Borders to email me and tell me the book i wanted just came in and now I have to go drive all the way to the store and pick it up. I guess I could just tell them not to bother in ordering the book but I feel bad for them. they seem really needy.

Also I hate Employee Selections. Wow some college nerd likes some queer book. Jeez that book really turned your crappy life around. What where you doing before?? Also every story has someone who always selects a comicbook(or a graphic novel). what a nerd.

And Lastly I hate when I am looking for a book on a shelf and there is someone in front of it. And Instead of moving out the way they move in closer to the shelf. Hey asshole I wasn't trying to get by! I was looking for a book. So either I have to A) slide up real close to the guy and try to look infront of it even though he is really close to the shelf and i really love having to get on my knees to find something on the bottom shelf because thats not gay...right?? or B) what I usually do, I pretend that i was going to walk around the guy and go look at something else and wait for him to leave so i can go get my book.

In conclusion I always thought Natasha Lyonne was kinda cute. She was the girl in American Pie but I prefer her in Slums of Beverly hills. I guess she became a coke head and was homeless for awhile and ended up in a Coma. I figure now I really have a chance with her. I bet I am starting to look pretty good...hmmmm??? I still wouldn't have anything to say to her though. So a coma huh??? hows that going for you?

Dasani

Did you ever drink spring water and it tasted like shit? Let me tell you, Dasani water tastes like shit. Like as if I was drinking from a toilet....a used toilet. My tap water is vile and undrinkable but I honestly think it's better tasting than Dasani. How is this? How can "spring" water taste bad? Well, Dasani ain't technically spring water....it's that reverse osmosis mumbojumbo....well I saw Osmosis Jones and it was cartoonishly grotesque....just like Dasani! Dasani, Italian nonethless....it should at least taste like veal parm.

Miner Threat

We all now about the miner tragedy. The front page of the Boston Herald today said "Miner Miracle!" haha great pun guys......too bad they all died. Greatest American media fuck up since "Dewey Wins". Man, people are still miners?? This is 2006! And we still have guys going into mines. Amazing. The spouses of these guys should all be sent to jail ..... FOR HAVING SEX WITH A MINER!! Get it??? Thank you. Hold the applause, please.