Monday, February 27, 2006

B-back Mtn.

I've shyed from the Brokeback Mountain's just to easy. But hell, i'm outta shit to write-so here goes. First off, i cant believe Ang Lee directed this. I guess it just shows what a good director he is. He turned The Incredible Hulk into a pussy, now he turns Heath Ledgers rod into Jake Gyllenhaal's ass. The only thing gayer than Brokeback Mountain is the cast for the supposed Donnie Darko follow-up movie...check it out. Brokeback Mountain is gayer than a David Sedaris essay (great writer by the way). For a director that seemed obsessed with computer animation, i was very disappointed to find out that there wasn't a CGI anal scene...cuz nothing says "I Love You" like violent anal. I haven't masturbated this much to an Anne Hathaway movie since Ella Enchanted. I thought of a good commercial....we all know the classic Brokeback line " I wish I knew how to quit you".... the commercial starts with a shadow of a mans head - he has something fallical in his mouth - he says " I wish I knew how to quit you" - the lights go on and he's smoking a cigarette!!! Stupid. I think when Ang makes Hulk 2 it's going to be very homoerotic, maybe Hulk and Wendigo fall in love....

WENDIGO: YEEEH! ....Boy Hulk that was great....and rather disgusting.
HULK: I figure we got a one-shot deal going on here.
WENDIGO: It's nobody's business but ours.
HULK: You know I ain't queer.
WENDIGO: Neither am I.
HULK: Good, cuz neither am I
WENDIGO: Neither am I.
HULK: Good, cuz neither am I
WENDIGO: .........Neither am I.
HULK: Good
WENDIGO: You are too much for me Hulk, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
HULK: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you that I'm like this! I ain't got nothing... I ain't nowhere... Get the fuck off me!
WENDIGO: Um...first off jackass, i ain't on you...that's a blanket. Secondly it's because of Gamma Rays your like this. And you even know how many sanitation wipes i've gone through trying to clean up your mess.....Jesus it's like a fucking Elmers Glue factory exploded!!


Captain Marvel: You boys sure found a way to make the time pass up there.
WENDIGO: you mean...cough.
Captain Marvel: Nothing ... what do YOU mean.
WENDIGO: I ain't queer.
HULK: Neither am I.

Wolverine Teabags Wendigo.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Interesting Ted Cassidy factoids....

Did you know? That Ted Cassidy who played Lurch on the Adams Family was also the voice of Gorn in Star Trek TOS episode Arena and also the voice of Balok in the Corbomite Maneuver.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Fuck U 2!

I really hate Bono. He's such an annoying prick. He gives to charity but the way he flaunts it makes me sick. His opinions about the homeless, war and race ... are so irritating because he so "in your face". The only reason why he pretends to give a shit, is to get some publicity for his next overrated hit. Bono is so phony and he can't really sing, and i'm pretty sure I heard him say "Fuck Martin Luther King". Those obnoxious aviator-esque sunglasses really look queer, if Bono died in a tragic gay-sex accident - i wouldn't shed a tear. I'm rather sure that he bangs The Edge, he shaved the hedge of The Edge, while The Edge plowed his wedge. I really hate Bono and I hate U-2 too, Bono should fry in an oven like a .... you know. Anyway, Growing Pains was a good show starring Kirk Cameron ... i only mention that because I had to rhyme something with Potato Famine. In conclusion, Bono is an arrogant fake .... anyone remember that band Cake. They where pretty decent right?