Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 36 - VANISHING POINT

"After her first trip through the transporter, Hoshi finds herself turning invisible and the rest of the crew believing she's dead."

I give this episode an 8 but it should have been a 10, i'll tell you why. It's still the early days of the transporter and this is Hoshi's first time and she's freaked out. The beam her up and she turns into a ghost. Nobody can see or hear her. They figure she is dead and Archer calls her dad to tell him and he doesn't really seem to care ... also her dad is Buck Bokai! Well it's the actor Keone Young. So as she's walking around the ship she sees some aliens (Suliban I think) planting bombs on the ship. Nobody else can see them as they are cloaked. She tries to warn Archer by disrupting his quarters lights in a morse code, but to no avail. So she takes action on her own and does a bunch of stuff that I don't feel like writting about. Then in the end it was all a dream! She imagined the whole thing while being beamed up to the ship. Ugggh I hate that!

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 36 down 62 to go

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 35 - SINGULARITY

"Enterprise charts a course through a trinary star system to investigate a black hole and the crew find themselves suffering from a condition akin to obsessive–compulsive disorder."

Basically in this episode everybody has this weird reaction to the black hole and they turn into miserable, irritated, jerks with OCD. So basically they turn into me. Then they all pass out. Except fot T'Pol, so she must solve the mystery, which she does. Not a fantastic episode, but it was sort of a throwback to many-a-TOS plot. It's not even worth finding a picture for. Now I shall brace for a hurricane.




ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 35 down 63 to go

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 34 - THE COMMUNICATOR

"After a short trip by Archer and Malcolm on a planet, Reed discovers he lost his communicator on the pre-warp planet and they are captured while trying to retrieve it."

So yeah, here's the "I forgot my communicator on a planet episode". Archer and Reed get captured trying to retrieve it and Archer sticks to protocol and doesn't disclose that they are alien. Unfortunetly the governemet thinks they are spies and beats the shit out of them. This has been consept that has thus far been rehashed over and over in the Enterprise series ... but I never get tired of seeing them get injured. This time they almost get hung or hanged. I've seen enough shots of Scott Bakula in his underwear to know that he's slightly above average.
"My phaser is set to cum"

Trip is screwing around with cloaking technology and accidentally cloaks himself. They use this new found technology to save the captain and Reed. The End. Oh wait .. this episode also has the dude from the show "Eerie, Indiana" in it. The End

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 34 down 64 to go

Friday, August 26, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 33 - The Seventh

"T'Pol is reactivated as a Vulcan intelligence agent and she is assigned to apprehend a fugitive. During the mission, a dark secret from her past is revealed, shattering her emotional control."

Bruce "Dickenson" Davidson
Ok the dark secret is that she killed an innocent guy. And really this episode was boring. All of a sudden Star Trek turned into the movie Salt ... which I have never seen but I assume this is what it's like. For some reason. T'Pol is crazy emotional, for really no good reason ... especially for a Vulcan. There are many humans that kill innocent people and it doesn't even phase them ... and these people are known as Muslims. So see Muslims are better than Vulcans. The best part was that I thought the guest star was Bruce Dickenson the Iron Maiden singer so I was looking for him the entire time and never noticed him! Then I found out it was some dude named Bruce Davidson ... what a waste of my time. Now off to watch the Tudors season 3.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 33 down 65 to go

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 32 - MARAUDERS

"Archer barters for deuterium from a mining colony plagued by Klingon marauders seeking deuterium as well."

It's always good to see the Klingon's. They are so damn cool. In this episode they are strong arming this mining colony in a very mafia way. Archer and possee train the miners to fight back and the next time the Klingons arrive they fight them off. But really, you think next time the Klingons didn't come back twice as angry and massacre everyone? Also, some of the Klingons look familiar ... like I have actually seen people that look like that. 

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 32 down 66 to go

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 31 - A NIGHT IN SICKBAY

"Porthos causes a diplomatic incident on an alien world and becomes ill from an alien pathogen; Archer goes stir crazy in sick bay while waiting for Porthos to recover."

This is another one of those ridiculous episodes full of slapstick. Yet I still found it mildly entertaining. The episode starts off with one of those stupid rub down scenes between Archer, T'Pol and Hoshi. It was a Message-A-Trois. But really the entire plot is ... dog gets sick. That's about it. So they piss off those aliens again, remember them from a few episodes back. Porthos pisses on one of their trees. And yet again, the aliens really add nothing to the plot. Accept in the end Archer has to go through an apology ritual, which is having him chainsaw a piece of wood half naked. I'm not making this stuff up. And also, a chainsaw???

Archer spends the entire night in sickbay. And he can't sleep because of a) Dr. Phlox is loudly cutting his nasty toe nails. b) Dr. Phlox is scraping his Gene Simmons Tongue. c) Dr. Phlox is chasing around a bat.

Archer is acting like a mad man and a complete dick. So Dr. Phlox suggests that Archer is sexually frustrated. And he is! Then he has a sex dream about T'Pol. Didn't this same scenario already happen about 5 times in season one?!?!? All in all this episode was dumb but watchable.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 31 down 67 to go

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Enterprise: Epsidode 30 - DEAD STOP


"Heavily damaged by the Romulan mine, Enterprise is repaired by an unmanned and automatic repair station with a mind of its own."

Ahh, I'm back from camping on the planet of .... New Hampshire.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from this episode. I mean, the plot is basically … the ship gets broken, the ship gets fixed.  But, this random space station floating is space was fascinating. It is totally unmanned, running mostly on powerful computers. It can do anything, from replicating food and materials etc, to diagnosing and solving ship problems and also health problems with the crew.  I actually wanted this thing to really exist, and someday I assume it may to some degree.  The only hitch is that it needs to kidnap one crewman on every ship and use their brain. It seems like a small price to pay for having this really awesome piece of technology! The station takes Mayweather and replaces him with a near perfect but dead replica. So everyone thinks he’s dead, but Phlox figures out the ploy. Which is good, because I like the character. Although of all of the people on the ship to use their brain, the station takes the ensign??? 

Archer, Trip and T’Pol go on the station and save Mayweather and then Archer blows the entire thing up! Why would you do that man?!?! Thank god the things starts repairing itself. I really like this space station, I was almost rooting for it to destroy the Enterprise. It was very reminiscent of the Borgs.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 30 down 68 to go

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 29 - MINEFIELD


"Enterprise snags a cloaked mine and Reed and Archer race to disable it during first contact with the Romulans."

This episode was billed as the first contact between humans and Romulans. Very exciting right? Unfortunately they never show them!! You see the ship, you hear their voice, but you NEVER SEE THEM. Lame. So if this is the first contact with Romulans and the first contact with Vulcans (2nd actually?) happened in the 21st century ... then how the hell does the Romans have a god named Vulcan and a mythological figure named Romulus??? I'm sure this is explained somewhere because Trek rarely leaves loose ends. I just assumed that ancient aliens was the explanations. .... also this show is fake :(

I always thought that the Vulcans and Romulans had been enemies forever, but evidently at this point in time the Vulcans have only heard of them. The episode begins with Archer trying to have breakfast with Malcolm, but Malcolm is so weird and awkward. He’s easily the worst character in Star Trek history. 

The Enterprise entered a cloaked minefield and one of the mines gets stuck to the ship. Malcolm does an old school space walk and tries to defuse the bomb. The mine activates a spike thing and it goes through Malcolms leg and into the Enterprise thus tethering him to the ship. The Romulans show up and say Leave or Die. Archer goes out and tries to help Malcolm defuse the bomb and get him unstuck. He fails and all seems hopeless. Malcolm says to cut the entire panel off the ship and just let him die in space. Why risk the entire ship. At one point he unplugs his air and begins to die. And I must admit that I was like “oh good, they’re killing him off”. Then Archer saves him! Oh well. You know sometimes they kill off a character and your kind of bummed out by it, well I actually was looking forward to him being dead.   …. I actually can’t remember how they got the mine off of the ship. And I just watched the damn episode too. 

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 29 down 69 to go

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 28 - CARBON CREEK

"T'Pol tells the tale of a crash-landed Vulcan crew on Earth in the 1950s."


T’Pol tells Archer and Trip the story of the first Vulcan contact with Earth. But it’s not the same story that everyone thinks (Cochrane meets the Vulcans in Bozeman Mt.).  She tells of the unknown incident of  her grandmother (+ 2 male crew members) that crash landed in Carbon Creek Pa. in the 1950’s. The rest of the episode is a flashback of this incident. I’m sure many people hated this episode and found it goofy, but I loved it. It seemed like it was an attempt at a Vulcan sitcom spinoff. They live in Carbon Creek for a year, they get jobs (a miner, a handyman and …. A woman). They manage to hide their ears, but nobody ever seems to notice their ridiculous eyebrows and eye makeup. One of the Vulcans is very taken with humans, he falls in love with a woman (Ann Cusak) and ends up staying on Earth, he also likes the show I Love Lucy. T’Pol’s grandmother finds promise in a very smart teenager, unfortunately he can’t afford college. In the end she manages to come up with the money for the kid. How? By selling a piece of Vulcan technology to a company. This technology is now known as Velcro. Finally help arrives and the two Vulcans leave Earth for home. Very very entertaining episode.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 28 down 70 to go

Monday, August 15, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 27 - SHOCKWAVE PART II

SEASON TWO

"As a group of Suliban take over Enterprise, Archer tries to return to the 22nd century."

The Suliban separate the crew and pretty much plan on killing them. They drug T'Pol in order to get info from her, doesn't work. Archer and Daniels construct a time machine from scraps in a very unlikely McGyver senario. Archer appears as a ghost to T'Pol and gives her a plan. Hoshi crawls through ducts and retrieves medical instruments from Phlox. She brings them to Malcolm, but in a very Big Bad Momma moment her top falls off. Malcolm retrieves Daniel's magic etch a sketch from his old quarters. The Suliban catch him and give him the greatest beating in Star Trek history. They really made his face look truly jacked up. Trip and Malcolm trick the Suliban into thinking the Enterprise is going to explode. Archer returns from the future and beats up Silak. The crew brings the evidence to the Vulcans who basically say "yeah, we don't really care. mission is still canceled." But T'Pol vouches for the Enterprise. Finally Daniels reveals to Archer that the entire Suliban race had been spawned from an Octomom named Natalie Suliman.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 27 down 71 to go

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 26 - SHOCKWAVE PART 1


"The Enterprise is recalled to Earth after the crew is blamed for the accidental destruction of a colony world."

I must say, this episode was awesome. I guess I must explain the whole Suliban thing better as this is the main plot of the show. So the Suliban race has a faction of terrorists called the Kabal. They are bent on altering time/the future (why,? I don’t know). Nearly every race that Enterprise has encountered has met and currently fear these terrorists. Daniels (the time traveling waiter) is from the future and is trying to prevent the Suliban from altering history. This whole thing is known as the Temporal Cold War. 

Now, in this episode. Archer and the crew are heading down to a planet in the shuttle craft. This planet has an atmosphere that is very unstable and they need to turn off the plasma boosters. They do, but unfortunately something goes wrong and they ignite the entire planet killing 3,000 people. Archer’s reaction to the situation is very genuine, he is pretty depressed. Starfleet finds out and they pull plug on the mission (suggestion of the Vulcans). Archer is ready to accept his fate. He goes to bed … and wakes up in Episode 1!! Very cool. Daniels shows up and explains that he has taken him back in time so that they can talk in private. He explains that the Suliban set him up, it was them that blew up the planet. The Suliban ship had been following them the entire time, but they are cloaked. Daniels gives Archer the schematics on how to see the cloaked ships and how to get proof of their innocence.  Through all of this, T’Pol still fails to recognize that time travel is possible, she stands firm to the Vulcan belief that time travel is impossible.

In a great battle the crew succeeds in boarding the Suliban ship and getting the evidence. But soon they are surrounded by 30 more ships. The Suliban want Archer as a prisoner. Suddenly Archer disappears. He is thrown into the future and appears with Daniels on Earth in the 31st Century . Except Earth is a wasteland. Daniels is confused and doesn’t know what happened. Archer suggests that Daniels send him back and maybe this will reverse Earths destructive future. Unfortunately, all technology in this timeline has been destroyed. Leaving Archer trapped in the future! What will happen?  Well you will have to wait until next season. 

Or tomorrow.

So ends Season One.

So the Warrant singer Jani Lane died. I saw on the news that his real name is John Kennedy Oswald. If this is true, why would he change his name to Jani Lane? He already had the coolest name ever ... except for Martin Luthearl Ray

Friday, August 12, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 25 - TWO DAYS AND TWO NIGHTS

"After weeks of detours, Enterprise arrives for shore leave on Risa. While there, Archer encounters a woman who knows more about the Suliban than she's willing to admit"

Directed by Michael Dorn

So the finally make it to Risa. Actually they made this place look pretty awesome, like a Caribbean island resort. I want to be there. Sure I would still be miserable, but at least I'll be miserable in a different location. They draw lots to see who gets to go down and relax. In probably the greatest coincidence of all time; Archer, Mayweather, Trip, Malcolm and Hoshi draw the first lots. On a ship of hundreds of people, this is the group that remarkably draws the lots. So anyway. Here's the breakdown in a nutshell:

Mayweather: breaks his leg while mountain climbing. Evidently people still waste their time doing this in the future.
Trip and Malcolm:  Get fooled by two transvestites and get robbed. I believe this has happened to many a person in NYC.
Archer: Meets a hot Cougar. And not Johnny Cougar, but an actual woman. She's an alien in disguise (the same race that Al was). He thinks he's gonna score, but she just wants info from him. What a tease.
Hoshi: In a twist ending, she's the only one to get laid while on vacation. He's a hideous looking cross between a Slav and a Klingon. No offense to the Klingons. Hmmm so that's what Asian chicks like.

Dr. Phlox puts himself into a 2 day hibernation, but they have to wake him because of Mayweathers broken leg. He's totally messed up and acting like he's hammered. It's pretty funny. I realized that he reminds me of Kelsey Grammer, he even looks like him. I'd like to note that Archer is reading a book.


I'm glad to see that the Kindle has gone out of style. Can't beat reading a physical book.

The woman that plays Crewman Cutler (Dr. Phlox's sort-of love interest) died when she was 36. She was also in a Seinfeld episode. If care to know more, read it here.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 25 down 73 to go

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 24 - DESERT CROSSING

"Enterprise finds itself aligned with a terrorist group when Trip and Archer are forced to cross many kilometers (miles to us normal people) of desert on an alien world"

Enterprise saves a ship in distress. The captain (aka the voice of Mr. Krabbs .. for real) invites them to his planet for dinner. It’s a desert planet and Trip starts complaining that he hates the desert. Isn’t he from Texas?? First of all, Archer is constantly referring to people as aliens, but right to their face.  Wouldn’t they kind of be offended?  But anyway, this alien dude is obnoxiously overly hospitable. It’s ridiculous. And with good reason, he’s really a terrorist that wants Archer to help them…overthrow the government?? Something like that. Trip nearly dies from heat stroke. They both nearly die from a bomb. They get saved and for once Archer doesn’t interfere.

Here’s the thing. They play lacrosse. I’m not kidding. It takes up a good 10 minutes of the episode too. Evidently this race not only evolved to look exactly like humans but they also invented the exact same unpopular game. With the same weird nets on a stick. Evidently the writer for this show must have gone to Duke or something. 

When this alien guy first appears in the episode, I noticed how his style of dress was very similar to a Jedi. Then they go to his planet and it looks exactly like Tatooine. Which got me thinking … they should do a crossover. It could be pretty cool … but most likely it would be a disaster. 

Another thing, I forgot to mention something from last episode. There’s a scene in which engineering catches fire and they put the fire out with a modern day fire extinguisher. Really?? 

Another thing from last episode I forgot to mention was that they had been on the way to shore leave planet Risa … this plot is evidently continued onto this episode … and seeing how they still never get there I suspect it will carry into next episode. Right now I'm listening to Jim Croce, how depressing!

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 24 down 74 to go

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 23 – FALLEN HERO


Sort of a throw away episode. It starts off with T’Pol telling Trip and Archer that they need to get laid. So I’m thinking, OK this is going to be interesting. Then it proceeds to not be interesting. They have to transport this old lady Vulcan Ambassador to a Vulcan ship. Some ships start shooting at Enterprise because they want to stop her from testifying against them. Sort of like a mafia movie in space?!  This woman was a hero of T’Pol’s but it’s implied that she has recently disgraced the Vulcans so T’Pol is upset with her. Anyway in one scene Archer begins to talk about his hero (but doesn’t say who it is), I was expecting him to saying something stupid like Abraham Lincoln. I mean, when is this show going to stop referencing the years 1900-2000? How many times do you bring up Roosevelt or specific silent films? Has nothing happened in between the years 2050 and 2150? Christ, make some shit up or something! Like why the hell would anyone specifically give a crap about Sherlock Holmes in the year 2365? (TNG reference) Nothing against Holmes, I like Conan Doyle. He’s no Conan the Barbarian but he’s pretty damn close in my book. Really though, that was the best book that you could come up with in the past 400 years?!?!?  The actress that played the Ambassador was very good, she’s an Irish actress that may be mostly known in the states for the role of Eloise Hawking on Lost. Although I wouldn’t know because I have never seen that show.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 23 down 75 to go

Monday, August 08, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 22 - VOX SOLA

"An unknown web-like alien boards Enterprise and starts capturing crew members, linking them together neurologically."

The episode starts out with a bunch of aliens storming off of Enterprise because they have been offended ... this plot is not mentioned again until the final minute.

The rest of the episode is full of water polo references. Archer is talking about water polo, Trip is talking about water polo, Archer and Trip are watching college water polo; Archer, Trip and a crewman are telepathically thinking about water polo while under the control of a giant alien tentacle. It's very crazy.

Not to say that I hate water polo, but I think I may hate water polo. I've never played it nor have I ever seen it played. I'm pretty sure I would suck at it .... but it seems dumb. Why would a sport that barely exists now, still exist in the future? It's neither water, nor is it polo. Ok so it's water, but still isn't polo. They should have to ride a horse in the pool. Now that would be so kick ass.

I would rather play Marco Polo than Water Polo. And I don't even mean playing the game Marco Polo, but literally playing him as a guitar. His corpse, if I could actually find it, I would strap it up and play Carry On Wayward Son on his ribcage.

Hoshi communicates with the tentacle, the ship is saved and you find out just why those aliens had been offended after all. It's because humans eat with their mouths, while they have sex with their mouths. Pretty awesome. And I still have no idea what Vox Sola is. The episode was directed by B'Elanna from Voyager.

Oh and by the way. Water Polo is AWESOME



ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 22 down 76 to go

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 21 - DETAINED

"Archer and Travis find themselves imprisoned in a Suliban internment camp by the Tandarans."

In a nut shell, Travis and Archer get too close to the Tandaran planet in the shuttlecraft. Tandarans hate the Suliban ... Suliban can take any form ... so they detain Travis and Archer. The problem is that this camp is actually full of good Suliban, so Archer busts them out. Phlox turns Malcolm into a Suliban, Travis catches a throttling, Trip is the captain, T'Pol distracts Al, Hoshi causes interference and Malcolm gets baemed down. Got it. Good. Cuz this episode was pretty shitty. The only good thing about it was that Al from Quantum Leap played the Tandaran commander. Archer was constantly butting heads with him, and it was cool to see these old show mates interacting again. I like to think that this was just a lost episode of Quantum Leap. Oh Boy.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 21 down 77 to go

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 20 - OASIS

"Archer, T'Pol, Trip and Travis find a crew apparently alive on a ship that crash-landed years ago."
The crew meet up with a trader about getting some needed supplies. The trader is a really nice guy and no wonder … it’s fucking Tom Bergeron! Yes that Tom Bergeron, the one from memorable New England shows such as Rap Around, People Are Talking and Granite State Challenge. Also as a high school teenager he physically called up Mo and Larry from the Three Stooges and interviewed them … on multiple occasions. He recorded these on a tape recorder and they were released last year on Sirius radio. They are amazing.  He’s excellent in this bit part.  

He tells the crew that there is a planet with a crashed ship on it that has the supplies that they need…..but the ship is haunted.  Come to find out that the ship is not haunted. The only survivor of the crash replicated his family and crew with hologram technology. And that’s about it. Also Rene Auberjonois appears in this episode, he’s a very underrated actor. Remember him from Benson and as Odo in DS9?? Rene plays the surviving crewman/commander named Ezral but he still looks just like Odo, which made me concoct the connection in my mind that this actually is Odo.  Odo is a changeling that typically takes humanoid shape, so it makes sense I guess. But really, who cares?
ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 20 down 78 to go

Enterprise: Episode 19 - ACQUISITION

 “A group of Ferengi hijack Enterprise, but Trip, Archer and T'Pol play mind games with the pirates in order to win back their ship. “

My lord the Ferngi’s. Love these guys. I picture them as being Arabs for some reason. “Ahh yes my friend, what can I do for you? How about you buy this quarter, normally I’d sell for $100 but for you my friend, $50.”  The Ferengi’s are played by the Re-Animator guy (remember him as the Andorian), some guy from Benson and the only man that doesn’t even have to wear make-up to play a Ferengi … Clint Howard. Whom I think is a great character actor. Unfortunately for him, that character is a human grotesque. Remember when his brother Ron Howard got older and older, and uglier and uglier … until he was a horse-shoe haired mustachioed redhead? Everyone was like “Boy he’s rather ugly” … then comes the breaking news; “Did you know he actually has a brother? And he looks like THIS!!”
Wait no ... he looks like this 


 WHICH ONE?!?!?

The Ferengi’s knock out the crew and begin looting the ship. One of them is so friggin horny, he starts collecting the woman. I love the whole lobe stroking thing, it’s very funny. Trip wakes up and wearing a male leotard. Funny that this fashion suddenly comes back in the future? Archer, Trip and T’Pol work together to trick the Ferengi into turning on each other, like typical greedy used car salesmen.  Archer sees some promise in one of the Ferengi, he’s slightly less sleezy than the other three. Archer basically dubs this dude the new Ferengi captain but warns them to never come near a Federation ship ever again. I guess this might explain why they NEVER show up in TOS.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 19 down 79 to go

I've just been reminded that Clint Howard was also in TOS, playing ugly little kid in the Corbomite Maneuver  

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 18 - ROGUE

Oh great, an episode that is filmed entirely in the dark. Like those horror movies in which I have no idea what the hell is going on because it’s always night time. Another thing is, how can this planet that is floating aimlessly in space have a jungle, water, atmosphere, wildlife and inhabitants. Unless I missed it, they never explain how. The only people on the planet are a group of three guys that are there to hunt big game … with space aged weapons and technology.  It’s all very conservative. Sarah Palin could be one of these hunters very easily, also the whole rogue thing....whatever.  Archer keeps seeing a blond woman in a nightgown running around. She is some sort of telepathic shape shifter. She tells him that the hunters are really hunting them! To eat?? So confusing. Actually that wouldn’t be a bad idea, you could make them turn into any food that you want. 

Hunter one: “Turn into a ham”
Hunter two: “…couldn’t we have just hunted a pig?”
Hunter one:  “haha…whatever”
Detective Rick Hunter: “turn into Dee Dee McCall … yeow!”
70’s pitcher Catfish Hunter: “I have nothing to add to this conversation”

Archer helps the shape-shifters out, he gives them some elixir that will help disguise them from the hunters. In the end the blond female shape shifter turns into a nasty worm and slithers away … and Archer loses his boner.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 18 down 80 to go

Monday, August 01, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 17 - FUSION

"Enterprise encounters a crew of emotional Vulcans."

Awesome episode. These Vulcans reject the emotionless ways, they are a bunch of nice guys. T'Pol is leary but curious and she befriends one of these dudes. He shows her how to have dreams like humans ... she has a sex dream. Then he breaks out the first appearance of the mind meld, T'Pol nearly dies from it and the Vulcan guy turns into an abusive boyfriend. Archer purposely takes a beating from this roid rage Vulcan (that seems to be his move, very sadomasochistic).So evidently even normal Vulcans are jerks. During the mind meld you get to see that T'Pol likes jazz music. Also Trip explains football to a chubby Vulcan fellow. Will Jazz ever go away???

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 17 down 81 to go

Enterprise: Episode 16 - SHUTTLEPOD ONE

"Reed and Trip are stranded in a shuttlepod with no foreseeable help arriving before life support runs out."

Watched this episode yesterday. Already another Malcolm themed episode, he's the least interesting one! In this episode you do get to see what a creep Malcolm really is. Him and Trip are on a shuttlepod mission when they see the Enterprise destroyed on an asteroid. Thinking that everyone is dead, they try to figure out what to do. They only have 7 days of air left. Malcolm totally cracks and turns into a mental case, he starts writting goodbye letters to all of the woman that he has banged, him and Trip then discover that they have shared the same woman...gross, finally Malcolm has a sex dream about T'Pol. Come to find out the Enterprise is fine, it was just some weird blackhole incident.

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 16 down 82 to go