Friday, April 17, 2015

Star Trek DS9 Episode 162 - The Emperor's New Cloak

"Quark and Rom cross into the alternate universe to rescue Grand Nagus Zek."

This mirror universe is seriously the most flawed plot in Star Trek history. DS9 should never have used it more than two times, because the more they show the mirror universe the more it exposes inaccuracies.

So, Nagus Zek steals secrets for a cloaking device and takes them into the mirror universe to sell them for profit (a. is the currency even usable in the real world. b. cloaking devices already exist in mirror world, as seen in earlier episodes). Nagus gets arrested or something and Rom and Quark go to save him. Which they eventually do. Not much else going on, other than all of the females in the mirror universe are lovers for some reason. Kira is matched up with Ezri (who in this universe is a sexy vixen) and then at the end it seems like Leeta is also involved with Ezri. It's just a weird twist, but if you think about it ... in the real universe Kira is dating Odo, Leeta is married to Rom and Ezri/Dax was married to Worf. If these are your fucking options for men, than might as well just go for the women. Anyway, there is a scene were Kira says to Ezri "I have to debrief you now" and Ezri says "This must be my lucky day". Who wrote this episode, Larry Flint???

162 down and 14 to go

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Star Trek DS9 Episode 161 - Prodigal Daughter

"Ezri goes to New Sydney to find O'Brien and uncovers some disturbing family secrets. Miles goes in search of the widow of Liam Bilby, Morica Bilby, whom he befriended in an undercover operation."

O'Brien goes awol to find the wife of some guy that died while he was undercover for the Orion Syndicate. Why would O'Brien even do this? Yet another plot that doesn't make sense, but who really cares anymore. He ends up on the same planet that Ezri is from. (may I add she is still cute as ever). Sisko sends Ezri to find Miles.

On the planet (which for some reason is named New Sydney ... also it seems like a dump), Ezri meets up with her family which seem to be some kind of bigwig mining family. Meanwhile, O'Brien discovers that Morica Bilby has been murdered and he suspects the Syndicate.

Plots collide when it is revealed that Ezri's family had to pay a ransom of sorts to Morica by order of the Syndicate. Tired of being beholden to this, Ezri's brother killed Morica Bilby.

This episode has a bunch of guest stars including; some guy that was on Knots Landing, Ted from Mad Men, Leigh Young who played Rachel Harris on Picket Fences and maybe the greatest Star Trek cameo ever .... Jambi from Pee-Wee's Playhouse.

161 down and 15 to go

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Star Trek DS9 Episode 160 - It's Only a Paper Moon

"Nog struggles with PTSD and begins living with Vic Fontaine."

And here it is. The shittiest Vic Fontaine episode ever. Which is a shame because the subject matter had potential and actually Aron Eisenberg was fantastic in it. I would almost suggest watching it just to see his performance, almost. It's just that Vic Fontaine is just so fucking intolerable.

Nog is losing his shit over losing his leg. ...that was almost clever. He "moves in" with Vic. Which I don't understand how that even works on so many levels. First of all, when the holosuite is off it appears to be the size of an average living room. So, how does it suddenly turn into Vic's gigantic casino plus Vic's apartment? Also (Captain Naps brought this point up), Vic is a hologram so obviously he doesn't need to go to the bathroom...but Nog is humanoid. Nog has evidently been living in the holosuite for weeks. I assume he is crapping in a hologram toilet, so once the program is shut off wouldn't there just be shit and piss like all over the floor???

There is a ridiculous montage of Nog and Vic having fun together; eating popcorn, watching movies, reading the newspaper together. In one scene they are at the zoo, Vic lifts up one leg pretending to be a flamingo, Nog falls over a fence and Mr. Furley mimics a lion! Ok, that one didn't happen.

160 down and 16 to go

Monday, April 13, 2015

Star Trek DS9 Episode 159 - Covenant

"Dukat, now a religious leader, holds Kira hostage. Mika, one of Dukat's followers, gives birth to a half-Cardassian child."

What a waste of time. Fine, Dukat is a cult leader, I will buy into that. He want's everyone to commit suicide (except he will fake it), why not. He gets lady pregnant then kills her to cover it up, I guess. By why the hell did he kidnap Kira? He all these plans and then he kid naps her for no reason and she ruins everything. It's pointless. But maybe he is just supposed to have gone crazy.

159 down and 17 to go

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Star Trek DS9 Episode 158 - The Siege of AR-558

"Sisko and crew relieve Starfleet troops under siege by Jem'Hadar at a key communications outpost, AR-558, the largest dominion communications array in the sector."

Fantastic. This has to be the "realest" depiction of war that Star Trek had ever done. That's not to say it's accurate, because damned if I know. So the basic plot is that Starfleet has just taken over the largest Dominion Communications Array. It was a tough fight and many Starfleet members are wounded. Sisko and crew (consisting of the usual Quark for some reason) are sent to assess the area and help with aid. Unfortunately, while they are there helping out the wounded the Jem'Hadar attempt to take the outpost back. They launch an insane attack. It's not the typical "spaceships shooting at each other" fight scene, this is ground troops. Sisko and the remaining soldiers are vastly outnumbered but they fight hard. Many more are killed and Nog loses his leg. Also, Vic Fontaine shows up for no reason ugghh. In the end they fend off the attack but not before many loses. I must mention that Bull Mumy and the dude that plays Tuco from Breaking Bad/Saul are both in this episode. And I guess it never aired on BBC because it was too violent.

158 down and 18 to go

Friday, April 10, 2015

Star Trek DS9 Episode 157 - Once More Unto the Breach

"Worf finds a battle assignment for Kor, an aging Klingon hero."

I feel that DS9 is now starting to limp to the end of the series. I don't blame them for running out of ideas or putting out subpar episodes at this point, I mean 25 episodes per season is way too many. These series' easily could have put out 14 awesome episodes and done away with the 10 remaining average ones.

Anyway, this episode is ok I guess. The elderly Klingon Kor asks Worf to help him participate in one last battle before he is too old. So Worf hooks him up ... completely unaware that Kor is senile. They end up with Martok (who hates Kor), but after Kor loses his mind on the ship Martok starts feeling bad for him.

They are soon attacked by Jem'Hadar and of course Kor ends up sacrificing himself and saving the day. Very predictable. His family then went on to create Kors Beer and have a series of commercials starring Mark Harmon.

Also this should have been the plot: An elderly Kor asks Worf to help him get laid one more time before he is too old. The episode is named "Once More Unto the Breeches"

157 down and 19 to go

Thursday, April 09, 2015

Star Trek DS9 Episode 156 - Treachery, Faith, and the Great River

"A Vorta defector, Weyoun-6, gives Odo valuable information in exchange for asylum. Weyoun-7, the next clone in the series, pursues them. Meanwhile Nog engages in a series of barters to get a Graviton Stabilizer for Miles."

It was good to have an Odo plot again, I missed him. This one was not great however, but oh well. I really dislike these Weyoun clone characters. Weyoun-6 was decent because he was "defective" meaning that he new that the Dominion was bad. He has a good idea to have Odo take over the Dominion and rebuild it into something good. Which would have been an interesting plot, but unfortunately this idea seemed to die out by the end of the episode.

I enjoyed Nog going through a complicated and strange series of barters to obtain the stabilizer for Miles.

156 down and 20 to go