Thursday, March 31, 2005

Actors I Hate

Here's a list of actors that I hate. I almost forgot how much I hate Billy Zane, until a certain someone reminded me!

10. Adam Sandler
I don't really hate him. It's just that he's very annoying and most of his movies are is his SNL career. But I guess I did laugh at some of his CD's from like 10 years ago.

9. John Travolta
He erks me a bit. Sure he can dance and he had his moments (Saturday Night Fever, Face/Off), but he's ugly. That's it....he really can't act and he's ugly.

8. Keanu Reaves
Can he NOT act like a surfer? Bill and Ted was genious, no doubt, but seriously dude can you even act? Or do you just act like yourself...a dumb surfer. Who woulda thought that Bill would grow up to be a Cop trying to stop a bus with a bomb on it and then get stuck in a Matrix. First off, I HATE surfers, so I must hate's law.

7. John Leguizamo
He has insane teeth, and he was never funny. He's also a shity actor. Remember Summer of Sam? That movie sucked. A movie about the Son of Sam which the Son of Sam killer was the seconday plot?!?! John had a good sex scene the car...REMEMBER!?! I was going to put Paul Riser in this spot, but he's not really a celebrity.

6. Vin Deisel
Worst action star ever. Stallone can't act or talk, but he wrote the Rocky and Rambo 1 scripts, Vin probebly can't even write his name. Schwartzenager is a good action star AND he's a governor. The Rock surpised me and i think he's really talented. Vin is a fool, he sucked in every movie he was ever in, I laughed through Pitch Black because he was so bad.

5. Tim Robbins
I really hate this guy, he's an arrogant prick. He was marginally good in Bull Durham and that's it. He's a dick and he's too damn opinionated.

4. Wesley Snipes
I'm sorry everyone, but I really think he stinks. He should stick to Willie Mays Hayes roles. He's right up there with overrated black guys in Hollywood such as Lawrence Fishburne and Spike Lee. Also he was in the most racist movie ever "White Men Can't Jump" ..... what if I made a movie called "Black Men Can't Read"??? You know who is better than Snipes....Mos Def...yes MOS DEF. Check out "Something the Lord Made", Mos Def was shockingly good.

3. Billy Crystal
He's so friggin winey. I'm sure at some time he was funny, certainly not in movies. He benifiited from a few good scripts like: Analyze This, Throw Mama... and City Slickers. ......let me just cut to the chase and say it..."He's to Jewy for me"

2. Sean Penn
God this guy is so horrid. He tries so hard to be an action star, he's either some kind of cop or soldier in every movie. Come on now, he's a scrawny little shit...he ain't scaring no one. He's a hard ass. He needs to stop riding Tim Robbins......take that anyway you want. He was good when he played himself in "I Am Sam".

1. Billy Zane
What the fuck did this dude ever do?!?! Oh yeah he played himself in Titanic...he wasn't even acting. He's an arrogant, stuck up, hard ass, prick face, dick head, asshole......prick face. Looking at his prick face makes want to smash him with a hammer. I don't get why everyone likes him.......he's a prick face. The only good role he had was a voice over in the straight-to-video Pocahontas II.

On a sad note the great comedian Mitch Hedberg is dead at the age of 39.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

More coffe talk

I find it odd that at Barnes and Noble people can take books from the store and read them in the cafe. What if you spill coffee on the just put it back? What if everyone started spilling crap on the books and put them back? Then no one would buy the if you could sit there and read it then why would you buy it? Is there a time limit in the cafe? Could I sit there all day and read as long as I kept drinking coffee? I don't know because i'm intimidated by that cafe. The people seem so snobby and i'm out of place...thats why I stick to Dunkin Donuts at least the people there are as classless and gross as I am. And I know that I can sit in there all day and read because I doubt that 17 year old hispanic girl that doesn't speak much English is going to tell me otherwise. Starbucks workers treat me like shit, which I find amusing I guess. Like when I accidently ask for a medium and they correct me "it's called a grande". "...oh really? you want to see a grande?!??! look at this you bitch!'s a bit cold in here...but you get the idea." I wish Starbucks coffee wasn't so damn delicious. But they can't hold a candle to Dunkin's sandwiches (Steak, Mushroom and Swiss on a Bagel or Bacon, Egg and Chesse on a Crouissant). Didn't I already write about this? Whatever.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Vegetables are Yummy

Does anyone really care about Terri Shiavo? I know I sure don't. Now I don't know a damn thing about the legal aspects or the religious argument, all I know is that I hate this lady. I'm forced to see her all day....on the net, on TV, in the paper, in magazines....what the fuck! She's friggin hideous! I'm sorry...but she's gross. I dry-heave when I look at her. I was watching yet another TV show that i'm not to proud of watching called "Starting Over" and they break in with Terri Shiavo news?!?! How dare you!!! I want this women to die because she's making my life inconvenient.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Indians and Irish

St. Patricks Day just past. What a waste of a don't even get the day off. What's the big deal anyway, especially for non Irish people. Let me get this straight now .... you dedicate a day to eating corned-beef and cabbage and getting drunk. You can do this anyday! Irish food is such sub-standard too, wouldn't you rather have T-Bone and Garlic Mashed with anything other than a Guiness. Don't get me wrong i'll eat the Irish food and I dig Guiness but really it's a dumb day. Now the one thing I must admit that I LOVE about the Irish culture is the music. Traditional Irish music fucking rules. Think of all the traditional music from other countries. France?, Italy?, Africa?, Luxemborg? ..... Irish music is cool stuff, ever heard Finnegan's Wake done by the Clancy Brothers???? HUH!!!! I secretly hate Irish people.

So anyone hear about that school shooting on the Indian Reservation in Bemidji Minnesota? Bemidji State is one of my favorite college football teams....GOOOOOO BEAVERS!. Anyway, some kid killed 9 people. I can't believe it, i really can't believe it. The fact that there are still Indian Reservations...i had no idea, I can't believe this, i really can't believe it. What are there like 20 Indians left in the country ...wait (20 - 9 = 11) .... What are there like 11 Indians left in the country? Who cares anyway. By the way, I'm not racist because I hate everybody equally.

Monday, March 14, 2005


The movie Footloose was on last night. Man what a retarded plot. A town that has outlawed dancing!!! Say it ain't so!!! I guess dancing was cool in the 80's ... let me re-phrase that ... I guess white people dancing was cool in 80's but now, it's pretty fruity. Footloose fell into the whole dace-movie hype, along with Dirty Dancing and Last Tango In Paris. Anyway, my point is not that Footloose was really queer, my point is that John Lithgow is a damn fine actor. He's extremely versatile. From Twilight Zone the Movie "there's someone on the wing!", to Footloose "No Dancing", to The Adventures of Backaroo Bonzai across the 8th Dimension "um....", to The Pelican Brief, to Raising Cain, to Cliffhanger to Shrek to Third Rock from The Sun. Tell me he sucks, go ahead I dare you! He's better than Keanu Reaves i'll tell you that much. .....need I say more? Good, because I ran out of crap to say anyway.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Russell the Love Muscle

This is funny shit. And proves what a pompous ass Russell Crowe is. He claims that al-Qaida planned to kidnap him in order to shock the world. .............hahahahahaahaa. I'm sorry Russell but.... hahahahahahahaha. You're a dick, and your band sucks. Is this how it went down?

Bin Laden: Thank you all for attending our weekly meeting. Refreshments are in the back, The Bagels are courtesy of Murray Lender from Lenders Bagels ........ JUST KIDDING! HAHAHA. Anyway, I have a great plan to shock the world. We will kidnap Russell Crowe!!

Muhammed: ...who?

Bin Laden: Maybe you didn't hear me .... i said Russell Crowe!

Akbar: ....isn't he doing Kid Rock?.

Bin Laden: No thats Sheryl Crowe you idiot. He was in that classic Australian skinhead movie Romper Stomper?

Muhammed: ......wasn't that Ed Norton?

Bin Laden: ...from the Honeymooners? Oh no, that was American History X dude.

Muhammed: Oh yeah ... that was a great sex scene in that movie.

Bin Laden: Oh, when Derek has sex with Stacey?

Muhammed: yeah .... that's um the one.

Bin Laden: ......not the jail scene right?

Muhammed: um......of course not. Anyway, who's this Crowe guy again.

Bin Laden: Jesus Christ man, Gladiator?, Master and Commander?

Depp: mean the guy from the 1991 movie Proof?

Bin Laden: YEAH HIM!

Muhammed: Would anyone even care?

Bin Laden: .......i guess no one really would.

Muhammed: Say Jasper what comes after 75?

Bin Laden: 76

Muhammed: Thats the spirit.

Well that went on way too long. Read the article here

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


That picture has nothing to do with this, but I laughed my ass off at it, Ron Jeremy as Super Mario i love it. Anyway this isn't meant to be pro-Bush or's just an observation of how stupid our voting public is. This is a conversation I overheard between three people on the train. Here's some memorable quotes.

Woman A: "Bush Don't Know Nothing" (Who don't know nothing?), "He sounds like he's from California or something ('s...Texas actually)", "I think Al Gore would have stopped Sadaam Hussein from driving the plane into the World Trade Center" (WHAT!)

Woman B: "I don't know how he beat Jim Kerry" (yeah he was good in Ace Ventura), "He's no Clinton, i mean, at least Clinton had some morals" (....come on now, we all now what happened)

Man: "I hate him because he's intolerant twards certain people" (I found this funny, a hateful anti-intolerance statemant? Intolerance = unwillingness to recognize and respect differences in opinions or beliefs. The statement itself is intolerant!)

This one takes the cake..

Man: "When I messed up my back under Clinton (no pun intended) my disability was twice as much as it is now" (OK so this may be true.....but did he really have to say this just before LEAVING THE TRAIN CARRYING A FRIGGIN' HUGE BAG OF ROCK SALT!)

So in conclusion ...
people that voted for Bush are retards
people that didn't vote for Bush are retards
everyone on this planet is friggin retarded!!

PS: I watched Blind's basically Daredevil without Daredevil, just Matt Murdock. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't exactly the worst either. We'll see (GET IT!)

Monday, March 07, 2005

BlockBuster Online

Let me tell you, Blockbuster Online is the best thing ever. I guess Netflix is good too, but i'm sticking with the big business. I just don't trust Netflix. In any case, the idea is great. I never have to leave home! Thats not really a good thing, but whatever. It's cheap, 3 DVDs at a time unlimated times per month for 15.00. The turn around is no more than 2 days usually. How else could I watch within the course of 3 days...The Forgotten, The Excorcist: The Beginning, ans season 3 of Three's Company.. Wow, my life sucks! The sad thing is that there's a blockbuster down the street....thats how friggin lazy i am. Blockbuster has pretty much anything you want too, except I was saddened that they didn't have Devil's Backbone.....yet they have Ringu (The Ring Japanese Version).

Friday, March 04, 2005

Could Tony Blair have been a rock star?

I came across this article on Yahoo News. Evidently Tony Blair was in a pretty serious band back in the ... 80's?? I have no idea how old he is. But look at him...he's so damn happy. I'm sure he really rocked...seriously right? He seems like a real rocking guy....i'm of course being sarcastic. What type of mysic did he play? I picture like "Men Without Hats" or something. Or the band that did Safety Dance. English guys always look real gay though huh? The bands name was "Ugly Rumours", but I think the "Gay Overtones" would be more like it. Or maybe "Tony and the Blair Witches". Or maybe "Men Without Genitalia" Me, Captain Naps and Gorn have a band called "Domo Arigato and the Mr Mugato's" ... i hate myself.

Thursday, March 03, 2005


Does anyone really care about the Oscars? Isn't Hilary Swank ugly as shit? I have no reason to see that stupid female boxing a foxy boxing movie maybe ... but not this crap. PS: She fuckin dies. Someone ruined it for me so i'll ruin it for you. I really dont care. The Aviator was a good flick and that shoulda won everything. Now Ray was also very good, but i'm getting sick of Jamie Fox crying about his grandmother. Who's close to thier friggin grandmother anyway?? Jamie Fox probably doesn't even visit his family, that phony prick. Who's Oscar? Oscar Shindler maybe!!!!! Nuff said..