Saturday, October 29, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 68 - DOCTOR'S ORDERS

"While Enterprise passes through a "trans-dimensional disturbance," the crew is put into hibernation, leaving Phlox in control of the ship. But is he truly alone?"

Yes he was truly alone. So basically Phlox has to put everyone on the ship except T'pol into a sleeping state. He starts seeing ghosts. Then we find out that he is just hallucinating. It's stupid, pointless and was actually a bit entertaining. Just because I like Kelsey Grammar I mean Dr. Phlox. It's misleading because T'Pol was also awake, so Phlox is actually not in control at all

ST ENTERPRISE COUNTDOWN: 68 down 30 to go.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 67 - HARBINGER

There's a few things going on in this episode. None of them really that interesting.

1. Reed fights Major Hayes. Why can't they just have a real looking fight on TV, just once. When the two people just swing wildly and awkwardly, nobody really fights karate style.

2. T'Pol and Trip finally have sex. Who cares. This was the episode that was supposed to have nudity, but the U.S. balked on it. They showed it in Canada. I actually don't know what "it" even is? Trip's penis I assume. I did see some of T'Pol's ass, but big deal. Look at that pic, Trips eyes immediately go south of the border. That's such a creepy move. With that hair cut you can't tell if this is an ass shot of a woman or Adolph Hitler. Either way, I'm aroused. ....To be honest, her body is not that great.

3. They finally meet the Sphere builders. Hmm, yeah nobody cares.

4. For some reason they made sort of a big deal that the musical score for this episode was done by Ray Bunch. So I'm like 'hmm, this must be some famous composer or something'. He did the theme to Nash Bridges.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 66 - STRATAGEM

"A Xindi captive is tricked into giving Archer information about the location of the new superweapon."

The best episode of the series so far, in my opinion. The episode begins with Degra (the mastermind behind the weapon) and Archer racing through space in an escape pod. They are being hunted down by Xindi reptiles. This is odd because Archer and Degra are enemies. So what the hell is going on! Well, it's been 5 years and Earth is destroyed, but in addition the Xindi reptiles have enslaved the Xindi humans. Degra and Archer had been in a prisons together. They have just escaped. Degra wakes up very confused because he has supposedly been hit on the head or something. Long story short, Archer gets Degra talking and he reveals past information about the super weapon. Ahh, except it is not past ...; it is present. Unknown to Degra they have been in a simulation pod on the Enterprise the entire time! Well done. It was a great episode despite the many flaws. such as: why would the Xindi reptiles enslave Degra and Archer and not just kill them and did Archer really have to set up this elaborate ruse in order to get Degra to talk??


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 65 - PROVING GROUND

"Xindi scientists test their new, planet-killing weapon in an asteroid field as Archer finds he has an ally in the Delphic Expanse"

Yes this episode was good. Why? Well, it had Shran everyones favorite Andorian in it. The plot was weak, but this guy is always good. The Xindi are about to test their weapon, the Andorians offer to help Archer ... out of nowhere. Suspicious? Yes. So Shran helps Archer steal the test weapon, but he is ordered by the Andorian leaders to bring the weapon home so that they can use it against Vulcan. Archer uses his bluffing skills to get the weapon back, he's upset that Shran tricked him. In the end you see that Shran actually did want to help Archer and he was relunctantly following orders. Best scenes are Shran using his acting skills to trick the Xindi into thinking he is a lost merchant and Archer punching Shran in the face drawing blue blood (not that horrible show with Donnie Wahlberg)


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 64 - CHOSEN REALMS

"Religious zealots hijack Enterprise and seek to execute Archer for acts of desecration upon the spheres."

A decent episode, but tough to explain. Hmm, so the crew saves a ship of religious zealots. Archer pretty much risks his life to do so. Once onboard, the religious people somehow figure out that the Enterprise has destroyed one of their sacred spheres. This is punishable by death. So they plant bombs around the ship and threaten to set them off unless Archer chooses one crew member to be executed .... or they could have just chosen one themselves??? Anyway Archer chooses himself. His brilliant plan is to trick these dudes into thinking that the transporter is an execution machine. It works and he is just transported somewhere else on the ship ... blah blah they survive. I swear they have used this religious zealot plot 4 times already.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 63 - CARPENTER STREET

"With the help of Daniels, Archer and T'Pol go back in time after discovering a group of Xindi reptilians are creating a biological weapon in 2004 Detroit."

The premise is stupid, like why would these Xindi bother going back in time to Detroit to make biological weapons? I don't know. The Xindi reptiles have some junkie stealing blood from the blood bank and all kinds of weird shit like this. But the episode was enjoyable. It was interesting to see Archer trying to navigate such simple tasks such as using an ATM machine or driving a car. And yes, Archer takes T'Pol who again looks totally out of place. The thing is ... Detroit is a horrible place, sure the episode had a junkie and a few prostitutes but I think in reality Archer and T'Pol would have been dead within one night. Lets put it this way, they wouldn't see Tim Taylor and Al Borland walking around. Anyway, they could have at least gone to a Tigers game. Or take a side trip to Toronto. That's what I would have done.


Enterprise: Episode 62 - SIMILITUDE

The idea of this episode is just stupid, but I'll be damned if they didn't pull it off to be entertaining. In fact most of Levar Burton directed episodes have been pretty good. The episode opens up with a funeral for Trip and I'm thinking oh great another alternate timeline. But no, this is real ... well sort of. Earlier Trip had been put into a coma by a plasma explosion, his brain is nearly destroyed and there's no hope. Or is there? Dr. Phlox has an idea to grow a new Trip. Yes, that's what I said. A clone. See it's a bit stupid. The amazing thing is that he can grow this clone (named Sim) from a baby to Trip's age in a week. In this time everyone comes to like Sim, but unfortunetly at this rate he will get old and die within a month right?Not so, Phlox could stop the aging process. Now I'm thinking if they make the Trip character a clone, I'm giving up on this series. Not so. Now, Archer must decide to kill Sim in order to use his brain to cure Trip. And he does without hesitation. Obviously Sim is pissed, but after time he volunteers to die. It was interesting episode, full of left wing agendas. Oh well, it was well done. Also Sim reveals to T'Pol that Trip is in love with her ... as he has all of Trip's memories for some reason. This was the highest rated episode of the season.


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 61 - NORTH STAR

"A planet resembling the American "Old West" is found to be inhabited by humans."

Oh yeah, finally a fucking cowboy planet! I'm a sucker for these every time. This was well done. The inhabitants are the descendants of humans that had been abducted from Earth in the late 1800's. They were taken here to be slave labor. At some point they overthrew their captures and turned the tables. Archer is forced to beam himself up to the ship in front of everybody, so then he must tell them that he is from Earth just like their ancestors. They are of course shocked because they are after all stuck in the 1800's. He tells them at some point he will return and take them back home. No Xindi crap, just a straight up old school star trek episode.


Friday, October 14, 2011

Enterprise: Epiusode 60 - TWILIGHT

"An anomaly causes Archer to lose his long-term memory. Much of the episode takes place in an alternate future after the destruction of Earth in which Archer (with the help of his caretaker T'Pol and Captain Tucker) seeks a way to correct the past."

Most confusing episode ever. Archer gets brain parasites, so they go 12 years into the future to find a cure (hence Capt. Tucker). Then they return to the their present time. I think??? I was expecting some nice vampires.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 59 - THE SHIPMENT

"The Enterprise crew learns of a shipment of kemocite, a key element in a new weapon being built to destroy Earth. Archer finds a Xindi ally."

Well, now we finally see that the Xindi have a number of different species. Now I understand that when they showed the Xindi counsel they had a bunch of different looking aliens. Still, it's so damn confusing. What I don't understand is that this counsel includes a fish/human ... they have him in a giant fish tank while the rest of them sit around the conference table. I'm not making this shit up. He moans like a whale and everyone understands him. Everyone understands him too (can a person out of water hear a noise in water? But then again a firey explosion shouldnt happen is space either). So anyway, someone actually had to set this dudes fish tank up in the conference room? There's a horribly fantastic pic of the insect Xindi with the fish Xindi.

Back to the episode. They find the a Xindi that is sympathetic to there cause and attempts to delay the development of this super weapon. Now back to the stupidness. Recent movies watched on Enterprise: Rosemary's Baby, Last Man on Earth, The Marx Brothers.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 58 - EXILE

"A Beauty and the Beast-like tale involving Hoshi encountering a telepathic exile (with Xindi-related information) on a deserted world. Meanwhile more spheres are discovered by T'Pol"

That gross guy keeps trying to trick Hoshi into dating him, it's so much like real life! Honestly I'm just going to watch like 40 episodes in two days just to get this horrible series over with. I remember thinking, how can a Star Trek series actually fail ... now I know. They can't even create cool looking aliens. So anyway, as I write this I have already watched 4 more episodes into the future and boy there are some real doozies.


Monday, October 10, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 57 - IMPULSE

"Enterprise encounters a Vulcan ship in which the crew has become violent due to a toxic effect of Trellium-D that causes neural damage to Vulcans. T'Pol becomes exposed and loses control of her emotions, becoming paranoid and nearly homicidal."

So in this surprisingly fun episode The Enterprise crew fights Vulcan zombies. No lie, they are legit walking dead zombies. Also, T'Pol becomes a junkie, she is reliant on Trellium-D and starts shooting it up. Such a weird show. The zombie thing was unexpected, dumb for Trek standards but totally awesome.


Sunday, October 09, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 56 - RAJIIN

"A slave girl takes refuge aboard Enterprise but spies on the crew instead. Meanwhile, Archer learns that synthesized Trellium-D can be used to protect his vessel from the anomalies."

They really tried to make this show good, they obviously really tried. It's just so terrible. In this episode they just over do the sex theme. Granted the slave girl Rajiin is very cute and she gains information by seducing the crew into sexual encounters, including T'Pol and Hoshi. But it's still the main plot that I hate. She's a Xindi spy. Also T'Pol is still rubbing down Trip, she was actually ordered to do this by Dr. Phlox to reduce his stress??? Isn't this the future!! Also, we have cars that can park themselves, does a Starship really need someone to drive it 24-7.


Saturday, October 08, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 55 - EXTINCTION

"During a wild-goose chase pursuing the Xindi, Archer, Malcolm and Hoshi are exposed to an alien virus and begin to mutate into members of a long-dead race called the Loque'eque."

Well that pretty much sums it up. It's dumb, just look at that picture of Archer and not laugh. A few other tidbits are; they are again attacked by some sort of space pirate, Phlox discovers an antidote to the mutation and T'Pol rubs down Trip. But I'm not here to talk about Star Trek: Enterprise, oh wait...I am. Well I'm not going to.

The movie Freaks (1932) was on TV. Maybe it's just me or is this actually a well written movie? I could see someone easily thinking that this is some kind of Trauma type film, but it's an actual film with a good plot. You really don't expect to find yourself having an emotional response to a movie with a bearded lady in it. But I do, I really feel bad for Hans. During the infamous scene in which they sing that catchy tune "one of us, one of us" while initiating Cleopatra and then she flips out and tosses the drink all over the midget version of David from Roseanne, I also felt bad. It's a damn good film. The acting of Frieda (Daisy Earles) is excellent, I felt bad for her. And I looked her up and it seems that this movie is her only speaking role, I guess she would be rather type cast though. Too bad because she is very good....I feel bad.


Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 54 - ANOMALY

"The crew of Enterprise encounters the anomalies of the Delphic Expanse first-hand and deal with space pirates and a giant cloaked sphere of unknown origin."

I'll be honest, I have no idea what the hell was going on. They get attacked by space pirates (aka Max from Weird Science) and they learn shit about the Xindi from them. Then they suddenly find this big sphere in space, basically the Death Star but not as big. The board it and find that supplies from the Enterprise are being stored in there?? Don't understand this!!! So far there aren't even any pictures worth posting for these episodes. And I'm too lazy anyway.


Sunday, October 02, 2011

Enterprise: Episode 53 - The Xindi

"The mission against the Xindi starts off with Archer and Malcolm making a visit to a mining facility in order to track down a Xindi."

Season three begins. Archer and Malcolm go to this planet that is way too Star Wars. The aliens are actually too weird looking and kind of muppety. They meet with this weird trader guy that is just gross, he has a Xindi captured. Archer and Malcolm help the Xindi escape (seeking coordinates to the Xindi planet). The guy dies but gives them directions. They go there and the discover that the planet is already destroyed. So if the Xindi attacked Earth to prevent an attack on their homeworld 400 years from now, then how is their world already destroyed? I'm not sure that I care.