Saturday, March 31, 2012

Star trek TAS EPISODES 4-6

Ep. 4 The Lorelei Signal

The male crew is turned into puddy in the hands of a beautiful alien race of women. They all look like She-Ra. The women kidnap the men and force them to wear headbands that drain them of their life force. The women use this to keep young forever. But why not take other women?? I really don't know. The cool part is that Uhura takes command of the Enterprise and puts together a female crew to save the males. I have a feeling that Shatner would never have let this episode happen in live action.

Ep. 5 More Tribbles, More Troubles

While on the way to bring grain to Shermans Planet, the Enterprise encounter a Klingon Cruiser attacking a small ship. They manage to beam over the small ships captain and to everyone's surprise it's Cyrano Jones. He has genetically modified Tribbles that grow huge instead of multiplying. The Klingons want Jones dead and they have a new weapon to aid them. Kirk manages to stop the Klingon weapon and the Klingons reveal that they will be happy to have back a certain animal that preys on Tribbles. Evidently Jones has stolen this predator. Kirk gives them back the animal and I guess Jones goes to jail or something. Not sure. It's interesting that Star Trek is bringing up the topic of genetic modifications way back in 1973.

Ep. 6 The Survivor

A little goofy, but intriguing. The Enterprise encounter a ship piloted by Carter Winston (voiced by Ted Knight). Winston has been missing for 5 years. Taken aboard the Enterprise, Winston reconnects with a former love (a female Ensign).

Here's where is takes a twist. The Romulans show up and we now see that Winston is really a shape shifter under their control. He morphs into many crew members and sabotages the ship. Suddenly the Romulans attack.

Here's were it takes another twist. The alien spy is suddenly torn between his Romulan masters and the female ensign. Even though he is not really Carter Winston he finds that he really does love her. He eventually switches sides and helps Kirk defeat the Romulans. Nonetheless, Kirk arrests him for being a spy.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Star trek TAS EPISODES 1-3

Ok, here's the deal ... I can't stop watching this stuff. I've already trudged on to the Animated Series. These things run about 20 minutes so I'm going to be knocking them off in three episode spurts. Here are the first three episodes and I think you will find my reviews a bit surprising.

Ep 1. Beyond the Farthest Star

The Enterprise is pulled into the orbit of a dead sun. They discover an ancient ship that looks like a giant forest type thing. This ship had been navigated by an insectoid race, but they destroyed their own ship because it was taken over by an entity. Now this entity has invaded the Enterprise. "Obey Me" ... you'll get that if you watch the episode.

Actually I was surprised at the animation. It's really not as horrible as everyone says it is. The plot kept me interested enough and it's cool to hear the actual voices of the crew. I'm sure at this point it's just the novelty of it all that keeps me watching but we'll see if and when it wears off.

Ep 2. Yesteryear

Boy I must say that I really really liked this episode. It would have been great in live action. Although that would involve rehashing The Guardian of Forever. On that note, wouldn't the Federation do everything that they could to keep The Guardian hidden or protected ... I mean in the wrong hands this thing could be disastrous.

In this episode Kirk, Spock and Bones are assisting in a Historical study using the Guardian of Forever. Spock and Kirk jump back into time in order to observe and record a certain time and place. Unfortunetly while they had been away something had been altered ... suddenly nobody remembers Spock (except for Kirk). The reason is rather surprising and in my opinion pretty creative. I'm not going to spoil it because this is a must watch.
Here's an interesting fact regarding Yesteryear "According to the DVD text commentary for this episode, Los Angeles-area stations aired this episode first, instead of "Beyond the Farthest Star" (the actual premiere episode elsewhere) because of favoritism allegations lodged by political opponents of George Takei, who was running for public office at the time. Instead of having to offer "equal time" to Takei's challengers, NBC stations in the L.A. area decided to air "Yesteryear" first, since it did not have any scenes with Hikaru Sulu (Takei's character) in it"

Ep 3. One of Our Planets is Missing

Wow, another great episode. So far I am very shocked at the watchablility of TAS. This episode begins with the Enterprise going to the planet Mantilles where Bob Wesley (from the episode the Ultimate Computer) is governor. There is a large living cloud that has been devouring planets and is heading straight for Mantilles. The cloud envelops the Enterprise but before it can destroy it Spock merges minds with the being and explains that it is eating living creatures. Let me tell you, this scene is amazing. I'm guessing this show wasn't a big hit with little kids because they would not understand 99% of the references and scenes such as this one are way to emotional for a child's cartoon. Nonetheless, great stuff.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Star Trek TOS - WRAP UP

After watching all three seasons of Star Trek TOS, I have come to the conclusion that this is still my favorite Trek series. It has timeless characters, solid acting, creative story lines and surprisingly decent visuals. The two biggest knocks on TOS have been the poor production and Shatner's overacting. But, honestly this is very inaccurate. In fact, for the most part I was happy with the quality and come on now ... Shatner is the coolest Starship Captain ever. I also leanrd a few things along the way, such as Lt. Leslie and Nurse Chapel appear in nearly every episode...far more than Sulu, Chekov and Scotty.

Another reason why I love TOS is purely for nostalgia. Although I did watch it as a youngster, it wasn't until 8th grade that I started to watch it obsessively. At this time TOS was broadcast on channel 56 here on Neural Planet. In 9th grade I started my quest to tape every TOS episode on VHS ... pausing on the commercials of course. Sadly for me, the show didn't start until Midnight. I kept up this schedule for nearly the entire school year and boy did my grades suck, but hey I taped every single episode. Little did I know that some years later a thing called a DVD would render my quest obsolete ... and then Netflix would seal it's fate for good.

Even while in class I still could not get enough Trek. The Star Trek Encyclopedia had just been released and I recently had stolen it from my "friend's" house (in my defense, this was after an argument on which was better TOS or TNG ... ok that's not really a good defense). Anyway, I would typically be reading that Encyclopedia during my classes. You know in 80's movies when they show a student reading a porn mag under his text book? Yeah, I actually did that with the ST Encyclopedia!

At this time, I basically lived in Bizzaro World. In the small Neural town that I lived in, the geeks and the punks were one in the same. My friends were a group of alcoholic, druggy, obnoxious, criminal, tough-guy bullies .... that also watched Star Trek, made Star Trek models, collected comic books, programmed computers and played D&D (or Rifts). In this crazy place the geeks were actually the troublemakers. One of the few exceptions to this had been Capt. Naps who has always been a straight up geek and I'm sure very proud of it. Even though I also associated with these other kids, I really did not partake in the bad behaviors but I was certainly around for nearly all of it.

This charming anecdote pretty much sums up the entire situation: After many physical assaults one of my friends finally went to prison (the first of many). I went to visit him with our other friend (now dead). Anyway, when we got there the prison official told us that we could not see him because he had just been locked up in solitary. He was in a fight over control of the rec room TV. The official commented that this was the first time he had ever seen a person fighting in a prison because he wanted to watch Star Trek. This is what happens when you combine a dead end town with one great TV show. Shenanigans ensue. Welcome Neural Planet.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 79 - TURNABOUT INTRUDER

This is thought to be one of the worst Star Trek episodes ever. It is also the last TOS episode. But, to be honest, I didn’t think it was that terrible. Sure it’s dumb, but it had some decent elements to it. I'm also a bit sad to end the TOS series. Even on it's darkest day it was still a damn entertaining show and it doesn't get much better than William Shatner.

The episode starts off with Kirk’s ultimate nightmare, he has switched bodies with a woman. Dr. Lester, bent on destroying Kirk, has switched bodies with him. Now Kirk is the female Dr. Lester, and Dr. Lester is Kirk. “Kirk” is constantly trying to kill “Lester”. Watch as Capt. Kirk beats the crap out of a woman and tries to strangle her, fun stuff. The crew is alarmed at “Kirks” odd behavior and Spock eventually does a mind meld and discovers that Lester is actually Kirk. “Kirk” has Spock sentenced to a court martial and Spock defends himself by telling everyone about the Kirk/Lester body switch. The crew believe him. “Kirk” then has Scotty, McCoy, Spock and “Lester” sentenced to the death penalty. Sulu and Chekov argue against Starfleet using capital punishment. Eventually the whole ship mutiny’s against “Kirk”. They figure out how to switch the bodies back and Coleman and Lester are taken to a Starbase prison.

To say that this episode is one of the worst is not correct. Certainly it’s not great, but you can do far worse than this one. The acting is decent, the plot is a bit stupid but they do a fair job of not making it too dumb. How is this any worse that Abe Lincoln flying through space in a chair?!  Alas poor Robert Urich, how I knew thee fellatio …. Coming soon, my Star Trek TOS wrap up.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 80 down 0 to go

Star Trek TOS: Episode 78 - ALL OUR YESTERDAYS

I guess Spock leaves his shirt on.
On a planet threatened by a supernova, the crew find only one inhabitant. He is a librarian named Mr. AtoZ. He built a time machine thing and everyone else on the planet has gone through it to a different time. The time machine is EXACTLY like the Guardian. I mean, to the point where it makes the episode seem incredibly rehashed and lazy. But, there are some decent parts. Kirk hears a scream from the other side of the device and jumps through. He ends up at the time of the witch trials and is accused of witchcraft. Spock and McCoy follow and end up in the Ice Age were Spock falls in love with a sexy cave woman. Things happen and they all end up safe and sound back on the Enterprise. Just watch it if you want to know more. I will say one thing though, that cave woman is pretty damn hot.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 79 down 1 to go

Monday, March 26, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 77 - THE SAVAGE CURTAIN

Awesome. Stupid as all hell … but awesome. My greatest memory is watching this episode with my mother and cracking up when Abe Lincoln comes flying up to the Enterprise in his big chair. The plot is basically, this horrible animatronic rock creature pits a group of good guys versus a group of bad guys. So he’s basically playing with his GI Joe toys, except using real people. All he needs to do is make a home-base out of books and a mountain out of a blanket … anyway.

The rock creature gets a group of evil doers that consist of Col. Green (think Hitler), Klingon Kahless, Zora and Genghis Khan. Trust me, it’s a formidable group, very tough and brutal. Now for the good guys. Um … Surak, Abe Lincoln, Kirk and Spock. Really??? This is the best that he could up with??? Surak and Abe both end up getting killed. Somehow Kirk and Spock win. This episode is so surreal and odd that it actually ends up being entertaining. The best scene is when Abe calls Uhura “a lovely Negress”.  Finally Abe shows his true colors. This episode is hardly savage and does not involve a curtain, but it's very fun to watch. The only thing that would make it better is if Abe Lincoln had to fight a savage Jane Curtin.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 78 down 2 to go

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 76 - THE CLOUD MINDERS

Utterly forgettable. The plot is interesting enough, I guess. It’s a fairly obvious social comment. Kirk and crew beam to a planet in order to retrieve a mineral from a mine. They land in the middle of a labor dispute between the working class miners and the elite class (that happen to live in a city on a cloud???). The miners are being affected by a dangerous gas. Kirk negotiates a compromise and gives the miners gas masks. At least the cloud city seemed kind of cool.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 77 down 3 to go

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 75 - WAY TO EDEN

I wasn't planning on watching another one today, but I'm glad I did. This episode is worth watching. Not because it’s good, but because it is so fucking stupid. This is actually a good thing sometimes, it made me laugh. The Enterprise encounter a group of space-hippies. They are every hippie stereotype rolled into one. They are lazy, annoying and ignorant. They follow this creepy dude that acts as a cult leader, he plans on taking over the Enterprise in order to take his group to a “promised land”. They have this musician in the group that belts out the catchiest tunes ever. I would actually buy this guys CD … OK I would illegally download it.There is also a cute hippie chick that is wearing an almost entirely backless outfit. This episode nearly has full backal nudity.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 76 down 4 to go


Now that I’m in the TOS home stretch I’m going to try and watch an episode (or two) a day until I reach the end.

A great idea and plot. The execution is not 100% but it’s decent enough. They beam down to a planet to find a man named Flint and his android wife. Flint has a collection of unseen Earth paintings, musical pieces, books etc etc. Come to find out that he is 6,000 years old and was born in Mesopotamia. He realized that he is immortal. Throughout his Earth life he had been Alexander the Great, Leaonardo DiVinci, Brahms, Solomon and many others. Flint and Kirk fight for the love of the android lady. Flint eventually turns the Enterprise into a paper weight. Then he feels bad and fixes it. Or something.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 75 down 5 to go

Friday, March 23, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 73 - THE LIGHTS OF ZETAR

Dumb. Predictable. A cute female crew member that gets taken over by an alien light being. Scotty is obsessed with her and it just comes of as awkward and creepy. The only interesting part of this episode is the introduction of Memory Alpha. This is basically an entire information library that is open to all species. Anyone can visit the planet and access the data, it has no defenses. But, boy season three is terrible.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 74 down 6 to go

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 72 - THAT WHICH SURVIVES

Lame. The only thing cool is that a handful of crewmen actually get killed. They beam down to a planet where a computer generated female assassin lives ... for some reason. Her goal is to protect the planet ... for seemingly no reason, because there is nothing and no one there. All she has to do is touch you and you die, BUT she can only attempt to kill one specific person at a time ... for some reason. Oh yeah and she also sabotaged the Enterprise ... for some reason. Anyway they destroy the computer that generates the girl. That Which Survives, unfortunately the person that wrote this script did.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 73 down 7 to go

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 71 - THE MARK OF GIDEON

Such an odd topic for a 60's show. It's completely about the birth control debate. Most notably the religious stance on birth control. For one, the planet is named Gideon. The issue is that they do not believe in birth control so now the planet is grossly overpopulated. Michael Gross-ly overpopulated. They kidnap Kirk and transport him to a replica of the Enterprise were he is alone with a sexy woman ... for some reason. The point is that they want Kirks germs. He needs to infect the populations to start killing people off. Evidently they also do not have disease. So they do not believe in birth control because they "hold life sacred" but they want to kill people??

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 72 down 8 to go

Friday, March 16, 2012


A classic episode guest starring the great Frank Gorshin. It also one that I really don't like that much. It has it's moments, notably when Kirk puts the ship into self destruct mode. I love that scene, one of my all time favorites. Dumbest code ever: 1A, 2B, 3C 000 destruct 0, something like that. They do a close up on everyone's mouth as they say this and damn Scotty's teeth are fucking rotten. I guess he is supposed to be Scottish. Other than that, it's not that entertaining. The racial message is just so obvious that it's irritating. And these two dudes just fight and fight and fight. One is black on right and white on the left, the other white on the right and black on the left. The point is supposed to be that we are all basically the same, so why be prejudice? But the point doesn't work because these dudes are not the same, they are opposites!

Anyway like I said they just fight and fight,even after their entire planet is destroyed. To be honest, black and white relations would never cause a nuclear holocaust. Africa doesn't even have electricity ... i assume.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 71 down 9 to go

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Star Trek TOS: Episode 69 - WHOM GODS DESTROY

Kirk ventures to a mental institution to face off against a deranged shape shifter. Sounds good to me. The episode is full of  ... "is this the real Kirk?" and  "Is that the real Spock??" See because the guy is a shape shifter, anyway ... Kirk seduces a mental patient Orion girl in order to have an ally against the shape shifter. I'd imagine it would be easy to seduce a mental person. 

Spoiler Alert: Come to find out that this shape-shifter is a former Starfleet Captain. Not much else to really say about this episode. It was decent enough. Also the Orion girl is the actress that played Batgirl in the Batman series. She was a hell of alot cuter as Batgirl.

ST TOS COUNTDOWN: 70 down 10 to go