B-back Mtn.

I've shyed from the Brokeback Mountain jokes...it's just to easy. But hell, i'm outta shit to write-so here goes. First off, i cant believe Ang Lee directed this. I guess it just shows what a good director he is. He turned The Incredible Hulk into a pussy, now he turns Heath Ledgers rod into Jake Gyllenhaal's ass. The only thing gayer than Brokeback Mountain is the cast for the supposed Donnie Darko follow-up movie...check it out. Brokeback Mountain is gayer than a David Sedaris essay (great writer by the way). For a director that seemed obsessed with computer animation, i was very disappointed to find out that there wasn't a CGI anal scene...cuz nothing says "I Love You" like violent anal. I haven't masturbated this much to an Anne Hathaway movie since Ella Enchanted. I thought of a good commercial....we all know the classic Brokeback line " I wish I knew how to quit you".... the commercial starts with a shadow of a mans head - he has something fallical in his mouth - he says " I wish I knew how to quit you" - the lights go on and he's smoking a cigarette!!! Stupid. I think when Ang makes Hulk 2 it's going to be very homoerotic, maybe Hulk and Wendigo fall in love....

HULK: Hulk SMASH!!!
WENDIGO: YEEEH! ....Boy Hulk that was great....and rather disgusting.
HULK: I figure we got a one-shot deal going on here.
WENDIGO: It's nobody's business but ours.
HULK: You know I ain't queer.
WENDIGO: Neither am I.
HULK: Good, cuz neither am I
WENDIGO: Neither am I.
HULK: Good, cuz neither am I
WENDIGO: .........Neither am I.
HULK: Good
WENDIGO: You are too much for me Hulk, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
HULK: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you that I'm like this! I ain't got nothing... I ain't nowhere... Get the fuck off me!
WENDIGO: Um...first off jackass, i ain't on you...that's a blanket. Secondly it's because of Gamma Rays your like this. And lastly....do..do you even know how many sanitation wipes i've gone through trying to clean up your mess.....Jesus it's like a fucking Elmers Glue factory exploded!!

later

Captain Marvel: You boys sure found a way to make the time pass up there.
WENDIGO: Wa-wa-what...do you mean...cough.
Captain Marvel: Nothing ... what do YOU mean.
WENDIGO: I ain't queer.
HULK: Neither am I.



Wolverine Teabags Wendigo.