Button This!

I was recently taking a leak behind this bush when Gorn decides to shoot me with a phaser, Juan snapped the pic on his camera phone. I friggin pissed all over my feet! Man, i take bad pictures, my face looks like a napalmed vietcong. But the point of this post isnt about all that, it's about Button Fly Jeans. Sure sometimes i throw on a pair just for kicks. But seriously, what fool thought it would be a good idea for mens button fly jeans? It takes a good minute to get them unbuttoned and a good 3 minutes to re-button. When I have to piss, I HAVE TO PISS! It's embarissing standing in a public restroom hunched over the urinal furiously trying to button up your pants. I'm afraid everyone will think i'm masterbating. I go in the stall for that. How do you spell embarissing...is that right? Anyway, button fly jeans are pretty fruity....hippies wore them and they are homos. On a side note: Going into a gym is macho and tough right? But going into a Jim is gay! The english language is fascinating.

A SUIT IN CONNECTICUT

I recently watched a program on TLC entitled "A Haunting In Connecticut". It was the "true" story of a teenage boy who was tormented by a demon. Although I found this 2 hour program rather entertaining, I did find three things funny about the demon. 1. He had 50's greaser hair. 2. He had a "gay" beard and looked pretty much like Christopher Lowell. 3. He was wearing a nice suit. Why the suit? Once I saw this Jesus movie and at the end they show Satan and he was also wearing a suit. It really made me think. During one scene the boy finally confronts the ghost. He meets it in a room and begins to talk with it (it ends up possessing him), anyway before they start thier conversation the scene ends. I couldn't help but wonder what was said that night. I imagine it went something like this.
Boy: Yo, Yo, Wut Up?
Demon: Nothing good....get it? ....cuz heavan is...up...
Boy: Huh?
Demon: Nevermind......did you just call me a Yo-Yo?
Boy: What? ...Um, So your the guy thats haunting me huh.
Demon: Yeah, you know how it is? I'm just here to take your soul.
Boy: Hmmm........So whats up with the suit?
Demon: What? Did you hear me? I said I want your soul.
Boy: I know, but seriously, I just don't get the whole suit thing.
Demon: The suit is not important! I'm going to possess you!
Boy: Well, if you do, then just please don't make me wear the suit.
Demon: ....Stop harping on the damn suit!
Boy: It's just...not that great of a suit.
Demon: WHAT! It's a friggin' $800 suit!
Boy: C'mon man, like your a demon and all. Couldn't you have just gotten like the most expensive suit EVER?
Demon: I guess so.
Boy: And really, that beard .... well .... it's kinda gay.
Demon: OH C'MON NOW!
Boy: No disrespect, but it's a bit too, well-groomed.
Demon: What is this?!
Boy: That "slicked back hair" look ... it went out in like the 50's.
Demon: You gotta be kidding me! I'm the evil one here! Who the hell are you!
Boy: Sorry dude, but your just not that scary. I mean, the black eyes are a bit creepy. But you look like a mix between Christopher Lowell and a sleezy 70's music producer.
Demon: What?! Christopher Lowell?? CHRISTOPHER LOOOWWWWEEELLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taking Back Latte

I heard a commercial today for a Dunkin' Donuts latte that claimed "Dunkin' Donuts latte's will take you back" ... Take you back to what? Take you back to a time when you ... drank latte's??? Back like two years ago when you STILL had no life?? There are many things in life that are nostalgic, I 'm of course an emotionless fuck of a Mugato so I can't actually name any of them. But this I DO KNOW, there is NOTHING nostalgic about a fucking latte! Although they are tasty, D&D's Lattes are decent (roll my 12 sided donut....get it...nevermind), I'd rather have a Starbucks Pumpkin' Spice Latte anyday, those cats can make a good drink. I just hate spilling it on my fur...it stains.

I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE


Mugato here. That hot piece of man
meat over there is my pal Gorn, he runs the karaoke thing here at Mugato Bar. Between you and I, he can't sing a lick to save his life. But his services are cheap, as is his price for karaoke, hahahaha...huh? Anyway, you must be thinking
"Mugato, What's with the homo talk?" ...um that's what your thinking right? Well, me and Gorn got in a bit of an argument. You see I snapped this pic of Gorn singing the other night. I believe the toon was "Lose the Dress, Keep the Shoes" by the DavidLeeRoth Band. I commented that "Isn't it funny that it's cool to be singing into a Mic, but if you sang into a MIKE, then it would be gay". Get it? Like singing into a MIKE...a guy named MIKE....like meaning his penis...and singing meaning ...um...you know. So performing...you know..on a man could be referred to as "Singing into a Mike". Hey I never said our conversation was pretty. In fact it's down right disgusting, not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just gross...but seriously I'm No Homophobe! Really though, look at that pic and tell me Gorn doesn't look like he's gonna give a hummer...hahahaha...sorry G. Anyway, Gorn said I was a homophobe for saying that?? If anything I think that proves that I'm comfortable with it, right? To be able to talk about it and not get freaked out. HE's the homophobe, he got totally freaked by it!! Hmmm...maybe I'm no homophobe, but what if I subconsciously thought of that because I secretly want Gorn to do that to me? Ahh..that's gross...ahhh...stop thinking of that!...bwahh! Damn...um...I'm picturing women...mmm yes that's more like it...that was close. I'm gonna go cry in the shower.


PS: I'm still mad at Gorn so I'm gonna
post these totally gay pics of him...take that bitch!