MUZIK WITH KHAN

Hey pricks, it's me your musical genious Khan. This is one of my all-time favorite bands. They are from Norway, yes Norway, that great source of popular music. They are called TURBONEGRO and they are the rockingist band ever! Straight up Alice Cooper meets Iggy Pop meets the Ramones meets The Rolling Stones....but better. You really have to be comfortable with your sexuality though, because some of the lyrics are pretty gay...which is hilarious! I of course have nothing to worry about, I have sex with billions of sexy females. There is question of wheather Turbonegro is gay or not, some say yes and some say it's all in the act. Personally, I believe its an act. The best part is the lyrics, they are friggin classic. You may think that they are a big joke, but they're not. These guys are dead serious. They have influenced bands like the Foo Fighters and Queens of the Stone Age and they had a cameo on Viva La Bam (which I never actually watch). I wanted a Turbenegro shirt but I didnt have the balls, so I got one that said Turbojugend or Turbo Youth....um yeah. I could write about these dudes all day long, but i'll just give a little discography..

Major Albums

1. Hot Cars and Spent Contraceptives/Helter Skelter 1992-93 B+ (Good early rock/hardcore)
Best Songs - Librium Love, Suburban Antichrist, Armed and Fairly Well Equipt, Manimal
Best Lyric - "You are my private Vietnam" - Armed and Fairly Well Equipt

2. Never is Forever 1994 B- (Tried the grunge thing, not the best idea)
Best Songs - Suburban Princess Death Song, Ubermensch, Pain in the Arsch Pocket Full of Cash
Best Lyric - "I took it up the arsch for a small amount of cash, Now I've started loosing weight and I don't feel too great" - Pain in the Arsch Pocket Full of Cash

3. Ass Cobra 1996 A (Rude, ridiculous, punky and friggin great)
Best Songs - Midnight NAMBLA, Denim Demon, I Got Erection
Best Lyric - "Shaking hands with Morrisey, IT'S DEATHTIME!" - Deathtime

4. Apocalypse Dudes 1998 A+++ (Best rock album of the last 20 years)
Best Songs - Selfdestructo Bust, Rendevous With Anus, Prince of the Rodeo, Good Head
Best Lyric - "Mutha-fuckin' Pizza Pie!!" - Age of Pamparius

5. Scandanavian Leather 2003 B (Singer Hank emerged from a short stay in a mental hospital and made one weird ass depressing album)
Best Songs - Wipe it till it Bleeds, Turbonegro Must be Destroyed, Train of Flesh, D.I.B.
Best Lyric - "Gimme just a minute, while I fuck the world" - FTW

Here's some lyrics...after reading these MASTERPIECE's you are guarenteed to love this band!

"I Got Erection" - from Ass Cobra

Everytime I walk down the street - Erection -
When I see a woman that I'd like to beat - Erection -
When I think of blood I think of love - Erection -
When I think of blood I think of love - Erection -
Oh, I got Erection Oh, I got Erection Oh, I got Erection Oh, I got Erection
When I set a house on fire - Erection -
Once a liver, now she's a dier - Erection -
When I dig a hole in the ground - Erection -
When I hear that hard rock sound - Erection -
Oh, I got Erection -

"Prince of the Rodeo" - from Apocalypse Dudes

Hi-ridin' daddy-o -
Spur-hump hey-ho let's go -
Fornicator of the lasso -
Sperminator of the asshole -
Prince of the rodeo -
Shoot the chute -Pull the flute -I'm back in the saddle -The world's most promising cowboy -
Lo-ridin' daddy-o -
Sexy denim romeo -
Rhinestone homo rock-n-roll -
Buns of steel Geronimo -
Prince of the rodeo -
Jerk that calf -Half-n-half -I'm back in the saddle -The world's most progressive cowboy -
And don't forget the clown!!!!!!!
I'm ridin' high, I'm ridin' low -
Prince of the rodeo -

"Drenched In Blood" - from Scandanavian Leather

(sounds like a surf song)
It's a tidal wave -A tidal wave -It's a tsunami of Blood !!! -
Blood in your nose -Blood in your eyes -
Blood in your mouth -Blood in your face -Blood every day -
Blood in your hair -Blood everywhere -
Blood on the scene -Blood where you've seen -Much more blood that you ever have seen -
When your eye's all crazy -And your minds all hazy -Drenched in blood again -
When you're drowning in blood, like a rat in a flood now -You're drenched in blood again -
When it's raining form the sky and you know you're -Gonna die, now -Drenched in blood again -And again -
Blood on your feet -Blood on your meat -Blood in your seat -
Blood on your lens -On your Mercedes-Benz -
Blood on your back -Blood in your sac -
Blood in your crack -Blood in your tracks -Much more blood than you could ever pay back -
When your eye's all crazy -And your minds all hazy -Drenched in blood again -
When you're drowning in blood, like a rat in a flood now -You're drenched in blood again -
When it's raining form the sky and you know you're -Gonna die, now -Drenched in blood again -And again -

Thats it. See, a lyrical genious, better than John Mayer. I expect zero comments on this.