Star Trek TNG: Episode 15 - 11001001

I sort of liked this episodes, just because I find the Bynars interesting. They are an alien species that has become completely interconnected with computers. They come aboard the Enterprise to make great upgrades to the Holodeck. Riker and Picard create a jazz club (a fucking jazz club!) ... Riker plays the Trumpet ... they meet a "hot chick". It was all a ploy for the Bynars to steal the ship and save their home world. Which they do, and nobody really seemed to care.

ST TNG: 15 down 163 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 14 - Angel One

Where to start? Angel One is a planet in which men are treated as "women". As in they are considered stupid and must dress sexy. Everyone is a bit put off by this ... except Riker he goes balls in on it. Meanwhile on the ship everyone is sick and Dr. Crusher ends up in charge. The leaders of Angel One want the Enterprise to take a group of revolutionaries (all men) that have been hiding out (they are from a crashed Federation ship named Odin).

The second they show this group, I was like NO WAY! Because one of them looked like McGyver. I thought it was going to be him as a guest star. Closer look ... not him. Um...so yeah that's about it. I will add a sexy Riker pic from this episode later today... stay tuned.

Also every "hot chick" guest star on this show is so 80's. Granted it is 1987, but I feel like I'm watching a Whitesnake video.

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Star Trek TNG: Episode 13 - Datalore

This may be the best episode of Season One. I like Data, but I love Lore. Why would someone build an android that is a total asshole?!?! This episode is cool because it gives you Data's back story. They found him on this planet, he was built by Dr. Noonien Soong (the ancestor of Arik Soong from the Eugenics Wars), he has an evil brother named Lore and his planet has been decimated by the Crystaline Entity. Anyway, Lore causes trouble on the Enterprise and it ends with a brawl between Lore and Data.

ST TNG: 13 down 165 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 12 - The Big Goodbye

Yes, the Dixon Hill one. This episode works very well as a detective story ... but I want to watch Star Trek. Picard is just so un-Picard like that it comes off as a bit odd. This is the Captains first shot at the Holodeck and he's happy, excited and even a bit giddy ... it's just not him. I don't like happy Picard. At least Data is hilarious as always. So ... here's my question about the holodeck. Can you have sex in it? A woman kisses Picard and he said he could feel it ... so I'm guessing you can. That being said, would this not be what every man on the ship would be doing constantly? THAT being said, would not the floor just be covered in jizz?

ST TNG: 12 down 166 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 11 - Haven

Yes, this is actually in the episode

This episode has the look, feel and plot of a terrible day time soap opera. But, it does have a great cast of guest stars ... including Nan Martin (who you may remember from the Drew Carey Show if you even watched that). Anyway, the plot sucks. Troi and crew go to planet Haven to take part in her arranged marriage. In the end, he leaves her for another woman. We get to meet her annoying mother Lwaxana (played by a surpringly adequate Majel Barrett). Haven should be a planet in which everyone worships Richie Havens. Also, the Betazoids are such a dumb race. That's all I got.

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Star Trek TNG: Episode 10 - Hide and Q

I do not like this episode. Granted, it's watchable, as many of the TNG eps are ... but it just does not make sense. It involves Q trying to tempt a human into becoming a Q. He gives Riker all of his powers. Soon Riker gives all of his friends everything they want, Geordi his sight, Wesley becomes an adult ... and Worf gets a hot chick?? Seems pretty trivial compared to giving a blind guy his fucking sight back! Anyway, Picard talks Riker into refusing the offer ... although Riker seems to really want to take it. In the end, Riker has the chance to use the power to bring a little girl back from the dead, but he can't because he promised Picard not to use his Q powers. There's a whole thing going on with pigs wearing 19th century French Military outfits. It's all so stupid and it seems like such a huge waste of time. Q has nothing better to do?!?!? You are probably the most powerful being in the universe and this is what you do with your life. I remember really liking Q, but so far he just irritates the shit out of me.

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Star Trek TNG: Episode 9 - The Battle

Another attempt at making the Ferengi into a nemises. This episode was pretty decent though. Evidently when Picard was the Cpt of the Stargazer he had destroyed an unknown vessel but was also forced to abandon ship. That unknown vessel was Ferengi and now Daimon Bok has come to return the Stargazer to Picard ... to honor him for killing his own people?? Whatever. Obviously it was a trap. Even though the episode makes no sense, I still always enjoy seeing other Starfleet vessels.
ST TNG: 9 down 169 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 8 - Justice

Ha ha, what the hell did I just watch!?!? Sure leave is ordered on a planet named Edo. On this planet, everyone jogs constantly, are half naked and have orgies all over the place. So naturally Picard sends down Wesley Crusher. He ends up walking into a bed of flowers and gets sentenced to death. Yeah, I don't really get it either. The entire episode has the vibe of a Magnum PI episode ... I really can't explain why, it just does. I was on vacation in space Connecticut and just could not wait to get home and watch TNG. I only regret that I have but one life to give for Star Trek.

ST TNG: 8 down 170 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 7 - Lonely Among Us

Fucking Data. That dude cracks me up. Seeing him walking around the ship pretending to be Sherlock Holmes, smoking a pipe and talking like a 19th century sleuth ... priceless. Other than that, not a great episode. The Enterprise goes through a cloud and ends up with an entity that takes over peoples bodies, he eventually merges with Picard and nearly kills him. Also, there are delegates on board ... lizard creatures and monkey/wolves??? Anyway, that plot goes nowhere. I cracked up when Worf got electrocuted, he looked like Beetleguice, In general Worf looks so different in these old episodes, he so much less muscular. Not reallyh tough looking at all. Also, the special effects sucked in this one. Thank god for Data.

ST TNG: 7 down 171 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 6 - Where No One Has Gone Before

In this episode a galactic traveler takes the Enterprise on a trip one 2 million light years away. He has the power to turn thought into reality. This he uses to propel the ship at insane speeds and into a strange realm. It's a decent episode actually. I'm only a few episodes in and I already love Picard. He is so angry, irritable and antisocial. Also, as much as everybody seemed to hate the Wesley Crusher character I find the akward interactions between him and Picard to be priceless. One last thing, the actor that plays the traveler in this episode is very good. I looked him up and this was his most notable role ... he's actually a lawyer!!

ST TNG: 6 down 172 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 5 - The Last Outpost

Starfleet's first visual encounter with the Ferengi, Although it did also happen in the show Enterprise. Anyway ... they have stolen a piece of technology and the Enterprise track them down. Both ships are abruptly immobilized by the keeper on an ancient planet. He wants to test them to see if they are good or evil. Something like that. Anyway, it's a typical Star Trek plot.

Now to the Ferengi. I love them. They are so funny and just so damn sleazy. Awesome. Then I realized that they are supposed to be the mortal enemies in TNG (like the Klingons in TOS). They are just not threatening enough. Also, Picard comments that they are very similar to 17th Century American Sea Traders. Really? REALLY!?!?! American traders?? Really!?

ST TNG: 5 down 173 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 4 - Code of Honor

Ha ha, wow this episode was insanely racist. The Enterprise is need of an antidote from this planet. On this planet are a race of black people from a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Not only does this culture mimic African tribal customs and appearance, but they are also totally backwards and savage. It's actually like mixing Star Trek with Coming To America. They live by a code of honor, which is far to reminiscent of a street gang.

The tribe leader ends up kidnapping Tasha Yar ... for some weird custom. I guess the custom is to steal a white woman or something. But, then he ends up wanting to marry her, unfortunately his wife doesn't like this and she want to fight Yar to the death. From what I gather this entire thing was just a ploy to have someone kill his wife. Thus far, a tough start for TNG season one.

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Star Trek TNG: Episode 3 - The Naked Now

Kind of a bit lazy to rehash an entire TOS plot. The crew gets infected by a virus that makes you drunk ... sound familiar? Is drinking alcohol supposed to make you want to have sex? Because honestly it usually just makes me fall asleep.

Even though the plot isn't the best, the characters sure do make this a fun episode. Yar, Troi and Crusher are all rather sexy in this one. Data is just hilarious and even Wesley is tolerable. I did notice something odd ... Wesley Crusher is taller than Geordi!! Speaking of Geordi, I like him ... seems like a nice guy. That's the thing with TNG, I actually want to be friends with these people ... where as the TOS crew I'm sure they would irritate me in real life. ....um, yes real life.

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Star Trek TNG: Episode 1/2 - Encounter at Farpoint

First off, TNG is an awesome series. I would say the best Star Trek series. That being said, Encounter at Farpoint is a bit lame. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot that I like about this episode, but it has the typically awkward flow of a pilot episode. The first 10 minutes are pretty shitty actually, the production quality, effects and even the color all suck. The general plot is just ok. It is the first few days of the new Enterprise mission and Captain Picard is getting used to the ship. Just before they can even embark on a journey they are interrupted by the super-being known as Q. In typical Trek fashion this being claims humans to be evil and sends them on a test. This plot has been used a billion times! Anyway, Q is a decent character.

What Encounter at Farpoint does effectively is introduce you to the characters. You get to see what kind of ride TNG is about to take you on. It's not just a sci-fi show, it has so much more depth to it. I always called it a Soap-Opera in Space", with all due respect. This is what makes this show so good. Right off the bat all the actors pretty much have their characters down. Picard is already angry and irritated! What will be interesting is to watch the development of the Riker character. He is so overwhelmed and wild-eyed in these early episodes. ..... I actually owned these episodes on VHS.


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Star Trek: Of Gods and Men

A well done mini series. Technically a fan made show, but it has a large cast of veteran actors. Including a great performances by Walter Koenig and Nichelle Nichols. Also appearing in this series is Alan Ruck (Cpt. Harriman), Tim Russ (Tuvok), Ensign Kim, Neelix, General Martok, Chase Masterson, the kid that played Jake Sisco and Gary Graham. Oh and also the dude that played Boomer on Battle Star Galactica.

The production quality is great, the special effects are just OK and the plot is pretty awesome. I'll try and not spoil it too much. Basically it takes place about 12 years after Undiscovered Country (and also the prologue in Generations). It starts with Capt.Uhura and Capt. Checkov attending a museum dedication to the Enterprise. Suddenly they are summoned to a distress call and end up on an alternate timeline. This is the result of an interaction between Charlie Evans and the Guardian of Forever. There is an epic space battle at the end as well as the ultimate showdown: Charlie Evans vs Gary Mitchell.

Well worth the watch. I have a new respect for Nichelle Nichols, she was very good in this series. I'd suggest everyone give it a go if your bored one day. It can be viewed on the Of Gods and Men website (although, I couldn't get Act Three to work so I had to Youtube it). Anyway, next up TNG!

Star Trek VI: Undiscovered Country

This may be my favorite Original cast Star Trek movie. It's at least tied with Star Trek 4. What a vast improvement over the previous Shatner directed piece of crap called Final Frontier. Ever wonder what a kick-ass Russian Spy novel, mixed with Star Wars with a sprinkling of Mad Max would look like? Yeah, me neither. But, this movie is just that ... and it's awesome.

The movie is solid across the board (even though it had a smaller budget than Final Frontier). The cast is great and the guest stars which include Kurtwood Smith, Kim Cattrall, Christopher Plummer and a cameo by Christian Slater ... are fantastic. I love seeing Sulu as the Cpt. of the Excelsior. A few things that I don't like: Kirk's lobster bib uniform, Kirk fights Kirk and the Klingon that looks like an Ewok.

The premise is basically this; someone is trying to sabotage a peaceful negotiation (spoiler: it's Odo) between Starfleet and the Klingons. Kirk and Bones go to Klingon jail and are defended by Worf. Stuff happens, the end. Just watch the fucking movie. It's exciting, funny and surprisingly poignant (whatever the hell that means).

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

I'm sorry but this movie borders on terrible. The special effects are awful, the plot is typical and the only memorable scene is "row row your boat" (which is stupid). Although I do like the ending, when I guess they kill God or something. Sort of interesting I guess. The entire Klingon plot is pointless ... also Spock's brother?? Really? The whole point is to cross the Great Barrier Reef and then they do and there's really nothing there except that shit planet with fake god on it.

The entire beginning is just dumb. Kirk rock climbing (I mean what's the point), Spock with rocket shoes and Bones being a schitzo. I feel like I'm watching a Three Stooges episode. The movie basically has the feel of Dune meets Star Wars meets feces. The Klingons apologize!! This movie did not need to be made.I get the whole bonding with the Klingons had to happen at some point ... but this could have just been done in Star Trek 6. And what the hell is with the sexual tension between Uhura and Scotty?!?!? When the heck did that happen.