Star Trek TNG: Episode 153 - Descent

This episode begins with Data playing poker with Einstein, Isaac Newton and Stephen Hawking. I respect the mind of Hawking, but man he is fucking disturbing to look at. Anyway, he did a good acting job on this one, at the end of the scene Data freezes the program and the actors have to stay perfectly still....Hawking nailed it. So the actor that played Einstein was Jim Norton, I thought it might be the American comedian Jim Norton ... but it wasn't, it was some UK actor. So I looked the dude up and here is what it said on Wikipedia "one of Norton's earlier UK television roles was as the timid Gardener in the first series of the long-running CITV children's series T-Bag".  ..................???


So the Enterprise answer a distress call and soon find themselves in combot with a free-thinking guerrilla faction of the Borg. They suspect that this may be the doings of Hugh. Data is sent to speak with the Borg but is quickly captured and an away team is sent to save him. The away team consists of every important person on the ship except for Dr. Crusher (who is now the acting Captain of the Enterprise).


Down on the planet, the away team party of Picard, Troi and LaForge stumble upon a building. This ends up being the home base of the Borg. Now they finally meet the leader of this Borg faction .... Lore.


AWESOME episode. Also, this ends season 6, which I found to be rather enjoyable.


152 down 27 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 152 - Timescape

"Picard, Troi, LaForge and Data must save the Enterprise, which they find frozen in an explosion of time, taking weapons fire from an also-frozen Romulan Warbird." ... Adam Nimoy directed this.


I just could not get into this one. It wasn't terrible, but it just wasn't that memorable. Everyone is frozen in the middle of a fight, both ship to ship and hand to hand .... it is due to some trans-dimentional being that sort of got stuck in the middle of it...or something. Picard, Troi, LaForge and Data escape being frozen because they are in the process of returning from a conference on the Runabout Shuttlecraft. So the real question is "why the hell do they keep taking these friggin' shuttlecrafts when they can just beam anywhere??"


151 down 28 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 151 - Second Chances

An episode with two Rikers? Be still my heart. Its just too much goatee for one fan to handle.


So Riker discovers another Riker. Not a clone, but an actual Riker. The explanation as to how this happened is quite believable, it involves some kind of transporter screw up. I was concerned as to how dumb the "split screen" would look...it could easily look shitty like the Patty Duke Show or that episode of Full House when Uncle Jesse meets his evil Greek cousin Stavos. Anyway, it looked very believable, Burton did a good job directing and Frakes was fantastic.


The weird thing is that at the end I totally expected one Riker to die, because surely there can't be two Rikers existing in the Star Trek realm. Wrong, they both are still alive and living their own lives. Isn't that kind of crazy?


It's strange how nowadays TV shows seem to be a springboard to bigger things for most actors. But go back 20 years and it seemed like everyone was typecast. Frakes, Spiner and Stewart were all great actors on a hit TV series and it all lead to shit.  Look Alf, what happened to his career when his series got cancelled??


150 down 29 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 150 - Rightful Heir

Uggh, another Worf episode. He does just fine as a baseless thunderhead, I don't want to delve into his feelings.


In this one he goes on a spiritual journey and witnesses the return of Kahless. But....it ends up being just a clone of Kahless. The one thing I did enjoy was seeing Gowron, I love that fat freak.


149 down 30 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 149 - Suspicions

Although I typically hate Beverly Crusher themed episodes, I must admit that this one didn't nearly make me want to die as much as I expected it to. It was themed around a brilliant Ferengi scientist (which in itself is a rarity and rather intriguing), he has discovered a way to basically fly directly into the sun without dying. Sadly he is killed testing out his device, but it is not to do to a malfunction. It is sabotage! Actually, this episode isn't that good.


148 down 31 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 148 - Frame of Mind

Wow. I really, really enjoyed this episode. Riker ends up trapped between two realities, one in which he is in an asylum and the other he is typical Riker on the Enterprise. While in the asylum the doctors view him as a lunatic that speaks of spacemen and after awhile I started to buy into it too. That is how well done it was. Every time Riker escaped and got back aboard the Enterprise, it ended up being an illusion. This happens at least five times! And I fell for it every time! This episode was simply crazy bananas... Appearing in this episode is the great Andrew Prine, a man that seemingly has been in every single tv show ever


147 down 32 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 147 - The Chase

"Four competing expeditions—Federation, Klingon, Cardassian, and Romulan—attempt to solve a genetic puzzle that proves to be the key to why Star Trek's version of the galaxy contains so many humanoid life forms."

Jonathan Frakes directed this episode and typically he does a solid job, this is no exception. I liked it. Great story and excellent visuals.

Picard's former archeology teacher arrives on board to share his ground breaking discovery, DNA that links all humanoid life-forms in the galaxy. The Cardassians plan to sabotage it and destroy the evidence. Picard locates the DNA strand and activates a program that shows an alien life-form explaining the humanoid origin. This pretty much pisses off everybody. The Cardassians are mad, the Klingons are furious and the Romulans are highly disgusted. I like to think that in real life most aliens would be humanoid ... but it seems sort of unlikely.

146 down 33 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 146 - Lessons

This has to be one of the top ten best TNG episodes. Its a fairly simple plot, Picard bonds with a woman (Lt Cmdr Nella Daren) over their shared passion of music. They soon begin a relationship. Nella gets sent on a dangerous mission and nearly dies. In the end Picard must let her transfer off of the Enterprise because a relationship with her would interfere with his duties.

The acting is fantastic with Stewart and Wendy Hughes giving incredible performances. Also, the cinematography was so much better than in previous episodes. I'm not really sure why. It had interesting camera angles and the quality of film just seemed much better.

Anyway, I have nothing negative to even really say about this one. Even when they had long, drawn-out scenes of Picard and Daren jamming on the flute and keyboard ... I still found it very entertaining.

145 down 34 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 145 - Starship Mine

Many things wrong here. First of all, the ship is completely evacuated for maintenance ... this is just an asinine plot.

Next the maintenance crew ends up being a bunch of mercenaries trying to take over the ship, well done Starfleet.

Then Picard must run all over the ship like Our Man Flint and stop the terrorist plot before it is too late.

One of the mercenaries is played by Tim Russ! He is supposed to be Tuvok, it ruins the illusion!

But here is the best part. While off of the ship Picard decides to go horseback riding. He says "oh wait let me go back to the ship to get my saddle". Then he proceeds to retrieve a gigantic ornate saddle from his quarters...one that would make Roy Rogers literally dung in his dungarees.
I mean, I'm guessing that the amount of stuff one can bring along on a space mission is limited ... did you really have to take the fucking saddle?

This episode was actually pretty good.

144 down 35 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 144 - Birthright Pt. 2

So Worf finds a whole bunch of Klingon prisoners, but he finds out that his father did in deed die in battle. The Romulans give Worf the choice of being executed or live as a captive. He chooses death. But before he is executed all of the other Klingons stand with him in unity and request to be killed as well. The Romulans finally decide to let everyone go free.

What??? Non of this makes sense. The Romulans would just kill them all, since when do they give a crap? This entire plot was just pointless.

143 down 36 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 143 - Birthright Pt. 1

The Enterprise docks at Deep Space 9 and Data works on a project with Julian Bashir. Pretty cool right? Well it is. Data accidently gets hit with some energy beam and has a dream-like vision of his father. He then starts creating various painting regarding this vision. This plot was fascinating. I love how Data seems to become more human throughout the years.

Sadly this episode is ruined by yet another shitty Worf plot. Don't get me wrong, I like Worf ... as a secondary character ... but NEVER as the main man. In this one he hears a rumor that his father survived Khitomer and is a captor of the Romulans. So Worf travels to a Romulan prison planet and of course gets captured ....

142 down 37 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 142 - Tapestry

This episode is basically "A Christmas Carol" or "Time Machine" or both or neither...I really don't know.  Picard "dies", Q takes him back in time where Picard wants to make amends with his youth. He realizes that he was a giant a-hole, so this time around he tries being a nice guy. Interestingly enough, this ends up ruining his future and he never becomes Captain of the Enterprise. So the message here is....always be a prick.

Ridiculous plot ... great episode.

141 down 38 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 141 - Face of the Enemy

This episode was entertaining, but it was also complete asinine. Troi wakes to discover that she has been surgically turned into a Romulan. She has also been secretly recruited into an undercover Romulan mission per Spock.

A. Why would Starfleet agree to send a therapist on an extremely dangerous secret mission.
B. Was this insanely complicated plan really necessary?
C. Why did the episode mention Spock numerous times, yet never show him. It's fucking annoying.

Scott MacDonald is in this episode, he also stars in one of the greatest horror films ever ... Jack Frost. Check out this classic clip http://youtu.be/sg8Rm0ajj_0

140 down 39 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 140 - Aquiel

Geordi falls in love with a woman...who is charged with murder. Again, I really really wanted this to work out for Geordi. He does eventually prove her innocence and it seems like he sleeps with her, but in the end she leaves him....even though she is offered the opportunity to stay! So after all of that LaForge still ends up losing out, once again.

139 down 40 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 139 - Ship in a Bottle

This marks the return of the rogue holodeck character Professor Moriarty, played wonderfully by Mr. Sheffield's butler. Also in this episode is the sexy cougar Stephanie Beacham.

If we remember from the last Sherlock themed episode, Moriarty is built so well that he is nearly human. In fact, Picard promises to figure out a way to get him out of the holodeck and into reality..although he was bullshitting. Now Moriarty ain't fuckin around, he wants out. He hijaks the ship by sort of turning it into a giant holodeck.

The Professor really isn't a bad guy actually, he has a love interest and is generally a decent person. Odd, considering he is supposed to be rather maniacal as a Holmes villain. Anyway, there is a happy ending ... and then after Picard gets out of the Asian massage parlor he figures out a way to give Moriarty what he wants. He puts him and his girl into a cube sized holodeck where they can live happily ever after. Or whatever.

138 down 41 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 138 - Chain of Command 2

While part one of "Chain of Command" was a drag, part two was pretty damn great ... for two reasons: Captain Jelico and Picard being tortured. Jelico (played brilliantly by Ronny Cox) was the biggest asshole, mentally unstable, self serving Captain to ever exist in Starfleet ... and he is awesome. I want a spin-off. He is basically Kirk mixed with Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. Jelico is very cocky, a cocksmith and will not fall for a cock-n-bull story....that's all I got.

Now to Picard being tortured. He is put through all awesome kinds of physical, emotional and sensory tortures. I mean, it was so brutal that it would make Marquis DeSade cream his pantaloons. There is this one scene in which they try to control Picard's mind by showing him 4 green lights and torture him into saying that there are five green lights....just amazing stuff.

137 down 42 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 137 - Chain of Command I

Chain of Command is a two-parter, that really should have been one episode. Not that I didn't enjoy it, because I very much did ... I'm just saying. Part one was very blah and it could have been summed up very quickly and incorporated into part two. Basically, Picard gets sent on a secret mission to destroy a Cardassian biological weapon. He brings along Worf and .... Crusher?? Personally, I would bring Data on EVERY away mission and bring Crusher on ZERO. Anyway, since Picard is gone they bring in another Captain to take over. Why not Riker you ask? I have no fucking idea.

136 down 43 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 136 - Quality of Life

This episode is about these little machines called Exocomps, they are sort of little mechanical repairmen. The question is weather they are sentient or machine. Not a bad episode, decent idea....but it is highly forgettable. If only Data had a handlebar mustache in this one.

135 down 44 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 135 - A Fistful of Datas

... so here is the Western episode where every character is Data! Who knew it was right after Rascals. What a terrible one two punch. Although I must say, I almost enjoyed this one. I typically like anything Old West, so this was at least tolerable ... and Data always cracks me up. Especially at the end when he is dressed like an old west "dancer"....prostitute.  For the most part an episode in which Worf and Alexander are cowboys is just plain dumb. Oh yes and this episode also begins the "beard growing" story arc. Ha Ha what the hell is going on in season six!?!

134 down 45 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 134 - Rascals

What a piece of shit. Do to some kind of fuck up with the transporter Picard, Guinan, Ro and Keiko turn into 12 year olds. ....seriously? How would this even happen??

The oddest scene is when a 12 year old Keiko questions Miles about the state of their marriage. He is kind of like, listen ... it's probably over. She seems a little annoyed by this. What the fuck is he supposed to say?!?!

Anyway, this is the worst group of child actors that I have ever seen!! They suck.

133 down 46 to go