I'm outta shit to write...

In math, when you put a number to the second power its called squared. Wouldn't squared be to the fourth power? Because a square has FOUR sides. Also wouldn't squared and cubed be the same thing? Because a cube is a square. Maybe i'm just an idiot.

HAPPY PEARL HARBOR DAY !!!!

5 Things about Pearl Harbor

1. It was the really the Jews fault, why?

Japanese commander Mitsuo Fuchida, who led 184 bombers and fighters over Oahu, sent the message "Tora! Tora! Tora!". (See, the Tora!!!!)

2. Along with a conspiracy from the Blacks, why?

The cruiser USS Detroit (survived) was docked alongside the USS Raleigh ( which sank) and the USS Utah (which capsized during the attack). (See, DETROIT?!?!?!)

3. The dead from the attack numbered 2,390 Americans, including 1,177 on the battleship Arizona. Raising Arizona starred Nicolas Cage who was in The Rock with Ed Harris who was in Apollo 13 with KEVIN BACON! So you....i just linked Kevin Bacon to the Pearl Harbor Attacks!!!

4. On Aug. 4, 1963, Japanese Commander Fuchida visited the Detroit area and told members of the Woodlawn Church of God in Royal Oak, "Today, I do only the things that glorify the Lord."

Even God is involved!!! And whats with Detroit!!!

5. Avoiding hits from Japanese planes, the USS Detroit headed into the Pacific in search of the enemy. ---In other words they pussied out and took off.....DETROIT!!!!

King Mongkut

I Touch Myself (thinking of Yul Brynner)

I love Mongkut
I want Yul to love me
When I'm feelin' down
I want Yul above me
I search Siam
I want Yul to find me
I forget myself
I want Yul to remind me

Chorus:
I don't want anybody else
When I think about Yul
I touch myself
I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE MUGATO'S BLOG

First of all, RIP to Pat Morita, he croaked. He was in the Karate Kid and he was also in the movie...get it? Anyway, my favorite scene in the Karate Kid is when Daniel wax-off....GET IT?!?!?1 I'm so funny. Anyway, Novemeber 18th marked the one year anniversary of Mugato's Blog. What a great run it's been, good times ... good times. Here's the origin of Mugato's Blog...in case you cared.

One day while bored in work I decieded to do a search for Rachel Ray pics. For some reason it brought me to www.fuwalda.com (now www.dononline.com) ... probebly because he did a raving review of the shows on Food Network which had me rolling in laughter. I must give credit where credit is due, I woulda never had made a blog if I never stumbled across Donalds site ... it touched me, in ways i've never been touched before. Except maybe be Father Paul at St. Joseph's Church in Sommerville Massachusetts. I laughed, I cried, I laughed again...then I masturbated...then I realized I was in work...then I realized I accidently stumled across the NAMBLA website...then I sadly masturbated again. 525,600 minutes!!! What was I talking about?? Oh yeah, Pat Morita...my favorite Italian actor. Anyway, I read that whole blog that day and I still do, it's funny stuff. I said to myself, Damn I need to get in on this action. All that fame of a blog was within my grasp. And I grabed it, like Gary Glitter grabs a prepubescant Asian girls ass. So I made the blog. Why Mugato??? I love that character. Thats why. There where 2 times that I laughed my ass off at Classic Star Trek, one was when Abe Lioncoln flew up to the Enterprise and the other was the appearance of that monkey suit known as The Mugato. So, that's it. I'll credit Don for inspiring me to make a blog, especially since he accused me of stealing his song parody idea.... and I don't want to get sued. Especially by a .... Minnesotian.

McCoy's Song

This song parody is long overdue. You know Annie's Song by John Denver.....aka "You fill up my senses, Like a night in the forest". Ok, well - this is called Lenny's song (Leonard "Bones" McCoy played by DeForrest Kelly). Got it straight? Good.

McCoy's Song

You fill up my senses
Like a night in DeForrest
Like a mountain on Vulcan
Like a walk on the Bridge
Like a storm on Zatar
Like a sleepy blue Andorian
You filled up my anus
Come fill me again

-The End-

The Replace Game returns!!

Here's the return of the REPLACE game. To refresh, all you do is this: Pick n TV show, find an episode guide, copy it into Notepad/Wordpad/Word (whatever), do "Replace" and change all the main characters names to something else.....then read. Such as this:

I took the Wonder Years season 1 episodes and changed the characters as such:

Kevin = Steven Hawking
Paul = OJ
Wayne = Chris Burke AKA Corky
Winnie = Josh Koenig AKA Boner from Growing Pains

# "Pilot"
Steven Hawking and OJ attend Robert F Kennedy Junior High for the first time. Boner's brother is killed in Vietnam. Steven Hawking and Boner kiss for the first time. (I think i'd pay to see this.)

# "Summer Song"
Steven Hawking enters unchartered waters when he meets an older girl during his summer vacation. (Uncharted ... like a blackhole???)

# "Math Class"
Steven Hawking has trouble in math class when he comes up against a teacher who Steven Hawking thinks is completely unreasonable. (He's such a know-it-all)

# "Corky on Wheels"
Steven Hawking wants to get to the mall to see a girl he can't stop thinking about, but the only way he can is by begging his brother Corky to drive. (He probebly drives better than me)

# "Mom Wars"
Steven Hawking thinks his mother is being over-protective when she tries to stop him from playing tackle football after school. (Emmy worthy)

# "On the Spot"
Steven Hawking, OJ and Boner become involved in a production of "Our Town." Trouble begins when Boner gets stage fright. Steven Hawking thinks he's set because all he has to do is operate the spotlight. (Who wouldn't watch this??)

# "Odd Man Out"
When Steven Hawking and OJ get on each other's nerves, they try to become best friends with two other boys. (Don't OJ too mad)

# "The Pimple"
Steven Hawking is looking forward to the visit of an old family friend,until he discovers his first pimple. (I think a pinple is the LEAST of his worries)

This sux

My remake of Gone with the Wind (actually just the beginning lines)....starring:
Keanu Reaves as Brent
Jackie Chan as Stuart
Mr.T as Scarlett


Brent Tarleton: Woah!Like, what do we care if we we're expelled from San Dimas, Scarlett? The war is gonna be most excellent.....duh.
Stuart Tarleton: Oh, risn't it rexciting, Scrarlett? Rou krnow those frool Ranks may actuarry *want* a wrar?
Brent Tarleton: Woah!
Scarlett: Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war; Jibba Jabba Jibba Jabba this war talk's spoiling all the fun FOOL.. I get so bored I could scream sucka. Besides... there isn't going to be any war suckafool.
Brent Tarleton: Woah?
Stuart Tarleton: Wrhy, hroney, of crourse there's gronna be a wrar.
Scarlett: If either of you boys says "war" just once again, I'll break every bone in your feeble little body, got that sucka? I pitty the fool that says war.
Brent Tarleton: Whoah!
Stuart Tarleton: I'm a gook.

That was stupid and offensive...i apologize. I'm an alien I don't know any better.

Thundercats Inquirer

This is one of the funniest friggin things I've ever read...

Sssssssulu

This has come to my attention...
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/28/people.georgetakei.ap/

Ha...that is the funniest picture.
Sulu is gay?? No really? Gee I never suspected that. Come on now, is this a shock? Be warned though...DO NOT get a mental picture of Sulu and Kirk.

Also just think what he does with that Vulcan hand greeting....gross.

Mugato's News Flash

This age of histeria is really getting annoying. There hasn't been a good Hysteria since Def Lepards in the 80's. I mean Hurricanes, Floods, Earthquakes, The Bird Flu ... it's all the wrath of God right? Thats what everyone thinks right? Here's a news flash: You know what causes hurricanes? Wind. Fucked up wacky, cooky wind. You know what causes Floods? Water, lots of water, it overflows, sometimes rain will make this so. You Know what causes earthquakes? The mother fuckin' techtonic plates biatch, or if a fat person falls down. You know what causes the Bird Flu? Well...i really don't know, but I assume it has to do with an Asian fornicating with a bird.

Kraven Man Thing

Here's the original series by Mugato and Capt. Naps . What If? Kraven teamed up with Man Thing.

Episode 1:

Man Thing - This is pretty cool huh? Me and you buddy, together.
Kraven (holding his nose) - Oh...Oh God...you smell disgusting.
Man Thing - Sorry dude. I tried to throw on some CK One.
Kraven - Don't you know that you can't hide a smell with another smell.
Man Thing - Isn't that what deoderant does?
Kraven - True ... I hate those roll-ons, they make me all soggy.
Man Thing - You think you know soggy? I'm a friggin human swamp..
Kraven - Speaking of which, aren't you basically Swamp Thing?
Man Thing - um.....so Hey did you see "The Biggest Loser" last night?
Kraven - Yeah his name was Spider-Man ... haahahahahahaha ... SHAZAM!!!
Man Thing - Shazam? Where the hell did that come from?
Kraven - From Joe.
Man Thing - Joe who?
Kraven - Joe Mama!!
Man Thing - Ha ha .. got me again.
Kraven - OK so anyway back to business, since i'm the tough bad guy...i get to headline.
Meaning MY name always goes first.
Man Thing - Thats fine.
Kraven - There's a victims now!
Man Thing - It's Puck from Alpha Flight. Let's roll.
Kraven - Hey you midget, be prepared to be destroyed by the most fearsome duo of all time.
Coware in fear! For we are Kraven-Man Thing.
Puck - You're craving man thing? Thats gross.
Kraven - Oh God...that sounds really gay.
Man Thing - See, my name should go first.
Kraven - I mean, we are Man Thing-Kraven!
Puck - Eeew ... you're man thing craving?
Kraven - Damn it Man Thing, why does your name have to be so falical!
Man Thing - I never really noticed.
Kraven - Um...hmm...listen Puck...we're gonna go and fixed this little name thing.
We'll catch up with you another time and destroy you. Ok?
Puck - Thats cool, see ya guys later.
Man Thing - Peace out.

The Wizard ComicCon ... BOSTON

CAPTAIN NAPS: So whatever, that comic book convention was pretty cool. and you thought it was going to suck! I told you that hot chicks were going to be there!!! and um comics...right???

MUGATO: I must say that it was decent. There was hot "chicks" there...I still refuse to believe that they where girls, they may have been gay men dressed as women. Because Girls cant possibly like comics.

CAPTAIN NAPS: We should go to a silk screening place and have them put Giant Sized Man Thing on a shirt. it would be amusing...right??? and then I would wear it too...um..no where.

MUGATO: That was the may favorite part. I finally saw a Giant-Sized Man Thing comic. You all know how Marvel used to come out with that annual?? Giant Sized comic such as Giant-Sized Iron Man or whatever ... acually was it DC comics?? Who cares, all I know is I finally saw a Giant-Sized Man Thing.

CAPTAIN NAPS: Also I actually own the book "How to self publish your own comics" because I am gay. I never actually read it though. now get to work on mugato's blog about his visit to comic con.

MUGATO: I am getting to work on the blog ... right as we speak. Ha ha ha. um ........ HAHAHA. YEAH!!!

CAPTAIN NAPS: I would actually go to those things all the time but the one at the radisson is always kinda lame and the one in framingham doesn’t even have that many comic.

MUGATO: Well well, we did see Lou Ferigno right?? AND MARGOT KIDDA!! and thats about it. And you did get Sean Wangs autograph... AND we met the creator of the Teen Age Mutant Ninja Turtles. So all in all it was worth the 20 bucks. And I only spent 15.00 on a useless Star Wars independent film called Star Wars: Contract of Evil. Anything else to add Naps?

Girls do things

Recently in the news (by recently I mean 4 months ago) it was big news that some stupid broad was in some stupid Nascar thing. She came in 3rd place or something. Is this really impressive? Its not like she actually pulled her car with her vagina or something. She DROVE a car. I fucking drive a damn car every day of my life. Where is my parade??? I spent 4 years in a tiger cage in Nam while getting beaten by a bunch of Cong Bastards. When i got back you filthy hippies spit on me and call me baby killer!!!
oh wait what was I talking about??
Ya girl race car drivers
Anyway Nascar is pretty much unwatchable. Is it even a sport?? its just driving around a track, it doesnt require any real ability. Girls have been allowed to drive cars since the 60s so whats the big deal that some female was in nascar? If some girl pitched a perfect game in Major League Baseball I would actually be impressed, but driving a car? who cares.

Why do Hippies (people from Cambridge MA) hate soliders because they kill babies but are all pro-choice?? sometimes its okay to kill babies but other times its not???? I am very consistent on my pro kill babies platform.
Vote for me, Captain Naps!!!!

Well I went to a comic con with Mugatto last weekend I am still waiting for him to post his stupid blog report on this important subject.

Micheal Keaton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey dudes and dudettes (???? girls are reading this right???) I am going to discuss the entire oeuvre of the finest living american actor who has ever lived MICHEAL KEATON!!!!!
so enough with the talkin' lets get rockin'!!!

WORKING STIFFS : this was a sitcom staring micheal keaton and Jim from the world according to jim. It came out in the same year i was born 1979. coincidence????? It lasted 3 episodes, it wasn't that bad actually. It had some good slapstick which you usually dont get to see on sitcoms (3s company being the main exception). Working stiffs would be a good name for a porno or a zombie film or a zombie porno

Night Shift : Keatons break out performance! he gives an tony award winning turn as a pimp or a "love broker". This film shows that being a hooker isn't all that bad. This was also ron howards big break as a director. I can't believe this film was actually a hit. I liked it though. The Fonz really isnt a very good actor.

Mr. MOM This film was pretty good but i havent seen it in a million years so it could actuall sucks. Keaton plays a guy who becomes a home maker and is married to terri garr. Terri Garr used to be a pretty decent looking broad. Remeber when he said "nice Knockers" but he was refering to the door knocker? hahaha oh wait that was young frankenstein. I dont remeber anything funny from this film.

Johnny Dangerously this film is pretty much a rip off of AIRPLANE! though it takes place (vaguely) in the roaring 30s. Micheal keaton plays the titular hero johnny who is some kind of mob boss or something. This movie has some pretty decent jokes in it actually.

Gung Ho this film is about the popular GI JOE character Gung Ho who works at a car factory that gets taken over by the Japs. It proves the people from Japan aren't all bad even if that Battan Death March was pretty rude. FUN FACT: this movie was turned into a sitcom, that was pretty bad. Yet I still remember it in excrusiating detail. I give this film 9 thumbs up.

DREAM TEAM , in this film micheal keaton plays a mental patient. Um, its pretty funny. What Night shift was to hookers this film is too demented people. Who would have thought that being insane could be so funny./??? well not me. My rating 24 stars.

BATMAN, The best film ever made by humans a trillion stars out of 3

Batman 2 umm not really that great, but still better than batman 3 or 4. though not as good as batman begins.

Multiplicty <> Everyones dream come true! What if we could clone MIcheal Keaton!!!!! anyway keaton gives a pretty good comedic perfomance in this film. an underated Keaton Klassic.


Jackie Brown: I guess he was in this film, did anyone even see it??? I actually liked the film though I dont remember keaton being in it.

Jack Frost.......um pass

White Noise. Me and Mugatto skipped work to see this film. It was pretty okay. not that great but it taught me to laugh at love.....again.

Herbie Fully loaded. Whatever, Lindsay Lohan used to be hot before she lost all her weight, now she doesnt have any boobs. Micheal Keaton steals every scene in this film

anyway thats my review of keatons films. I guess there are other films but i never seen them. Keaton is a great actor and always seems coked up.




www.ImageShack.us"

Also everyone should watch Arrested Development on Fox mondays at 8. nothing to do with micheal Keaton just thought i share.

It's crying time

Everyone has had a movie that made them cry or at least get choked up. I know someone that admitted to the following ... King Kong, A Walk to Remember and an episode of Dark Angel. HAHAHA what a freak. I'll admit to the following ... Titanic, I am Sam, Step Mom, and the Nicholas Sparks book "The Guardian" ... how gay is that? So come on everyone fess up!

-Mugato

Women are mentally ill

I think i've come to the conclusion that women are mentally ill. One minute they are normal the next they are insane. This may be true for all women, but i don't know for sure, but it sure seems like MOST women are like this. It's no secret really. Women have been crazy for centuries....Joan of Arc was crazy - she claimed that she saw angels ...hahahahahahaha ANGELS! How stupid ... right? Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the show Newhart. Remember when that "Hi i'm Larry, this is my brother Daryl and this is my other brother Daryl" thing was funny? Why? What the hell where we laughing at!?!?!?!

Steve's gay (as in happy) movie review

This weekend my friend ...um Steve....watched 2 movies. One being "The Notebook" and the other being "Because of Winn Dixie". So ...Steve... was really disappointed by The Notebook, while i'm sure that it was a decent flick it evidently went totally against the book ... which Steve read .... and enjoyed. Nicholas Sparks is a good author right? It coulda been worse, it's not like Steve reads Danielle Steele or trashy raunchy sex novels written by my actual 7th Grade English teacher Patricia Grasso (look her up on Amazon!). The movie is a disgrace to all that enjoyed the book .... um like Steve did.

Ahh. Winn Dixie, this movie was surprisingly very good and entertaining. Who doesn't love dogs? My dad, thats who. Anyway, this dog is just so cool, irt can smile ... for real. This flick is rather dark and depressing for a kids film, which is pretty chill. The characters are a girl who's mother abandoned her, a blind drunk black lady, an ex-con child-molester??? played by that great actor Dave Mathews??? and a bunch of other people or something. Anyway, I liked this movie ... i mean Steve liked it. And seriously Steve is totally straight, no shit he really is.

PS: My favorite U.S. body of water is Lake New Orleans ... was that a joke???

Iraq and Roll Hoochie-Coo

Iraq.....i still don't care. I really don't. I guess it's sad, but I don't give a shit. Sure i've tried to care, but I just CAN'T DO IT!!! Everyone complaines about it and i'm sick of hearing it .... "Oh all those soldiers are dying over there" ... Well what the fuck do you think the military is for?? Marching in a friggin parade??? It's probably the only occupation in which you are pretty much gonna die. So shut up. Anyway, I say lets just Just drop nukes on the middle east ... the whole friggin thing, Iraq, Iran, Afgan, Jordan....hell even Israel. Who cares ... I sure as hell don't. WHY? Because I hate everybody! If your humanI hate you, i don't descriminate. I could care less what religion, color, nationality or whatever ... I hate EVERYONE equally. While i'm at it. Everyone is complaining about oil prices and war for oil ... you wanna complain hippy?? Then let us drill in friggin Alaska. Then we wont have to worry anymore. Sure I love wildlife more than the next guy ... in fact I like animals better than people. But I look at it this way....when we have no oil left, then those same animals that we protected in Alaska, we're gonna be killing for fur so that we can stay warm. So might as well just kill em now and get it over with! Makes sense right? ........right? ...............hello? Will all this trouble over the protection of animals and people make a difference when the sun goes supernova?!?! The answer is NO!! Anyone see DiGrassi The Next Generation last week? It rocked! It was funny when Emily got an STD from Wesley Crusher.

Der Friedensstifter

I've talked alot of shit about Vin Diesel, in fact I still think he sucks. But boy was I wrong about The Pacifier. It really wasnt all that bad. Granted Diesel still acts horribly in it, but it works. The plot basically is this: Diesel is a Navy Seal with a one-track military mind and no emotions (which makes his lack of acting ability work so well), his new mission is to babysit a family of kids....why? you ask, watch the damn movie I dont have time to explain it. Thats the plot anyway, it sounds dumb but for some reason it was decent. I laughed more than once and the movie had good action scenes. Whatever, I still hate Vin Diesel. Heres some more of my favorite "kids" movies...

Cat in the Hat - (my favorite movie about a creepy pedophile man-cat)
Willy Wonka - (favorite movie about a creepy pedophile candy maker)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit - (favorite movie about cartoon beastiality)
Wizard of Oz - (favorite movie about a homosexual lion, a very gay tin-man, and a scarecrow who's sexuality is of suspect)
Kindergarten Cop - (favorite movie about a child abusing police officer)
Stuart Little - (favorite movie about ........a mouse)
Little Vampire - (favorite movie about closeted homosexuals ..... also known as vampires)

Gone Fis(h/t)ing

Why do people own fish? Whats the f-in' point?!? You can't play with it and it has no idea that your even there! They don't do shit. It's a sad fact but it's true, a fish as a pet is useless. You might as well have an ant as a pet, or even a homeless guy, they're just as useless. Fish are so useless that vegetarians eat them!! They don't even count to a psycho vegatarian. On the other hand why do I enjoy fishing? Especially when it's catch and release, I suppose there is no point in that, except maybe to go "Yeah Fish, I caught you and I could so easily kill you right now, but i'm in a good mood....lucky you, you get to live ... just remember that" ....... oh yeah thats why I like fishing. Which brings me to my second topic...fisting. Does anyone really enjoy getting fisted?!?!?