3 Stupid Topics

1. The Santa Speedo Run
In Boston, MA Earth...they have a race in December to benefit children with AIDS. Dudes run in 20 degree wheather wearing nothing but a speedo. Look at that, it's a gay mans dream and a straight mans nightmare. There's a few problems with this. First of all....how the hell do children sill get AIDS. How many 5 year olds shoot heroin and have unprotected sex? Maybe they do in Haiti or something... i don't know. It's seems like kind of a phony cause. Second of all, who really wants to see dudes in speedo's run in the cold......horny women?? Is that all that women want?? Thats all I have to do...run in a speedo? I wouldn't mind wearing the speedo, but i'm all set with running. I havn't ran in like 15 years....i havn't done much in 15 years actually. Third of all (??), I assume these guys are married....because, what single man would wear super tight underwear and run in the freezing cold wheather in front of a thousand women....."Seriously my penis is usually much bigger than half-an-inch, I swear to god."
This was the best quote from an article about "The Santa Speedo Run" ... BC: I bet beer tastes better in a Speedo. Your going to drink beer out of a speedo? How?? Thats friggin gross!! Whatever.. Why is it called "The Walk for Cancer" .... shouldn't it be "The Walk Against Cancer"??

2. I took a trip to New Hampshire, Earth this weekend. They had that beautiful "Man on the Mountain". The face of an old man naturally carved into the side of a mountain. It's on everything there, it's on the state quarters, the highway signs, on stores, on trinkets on shirts....it was the big draw to NH. Well last year it FELL OFF THE FRIGGIN' MOUNTAIN!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And they still have the stupid image on EVERYTHING!! IT FELL RIGHT OFF THE FREAKING MOUNTAIN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ......and i feel terrible about it.

3. I'm not really sexist or anything. But I really don't find women comedians funny. I've tried....maybe i really don't relate that much. But i've never laughed at a female on TV. Thats not to say that I haven't personally known a funny female. There was this fat chick in high school and i used to laugh at her all the time. Seriously, I have known regular girls that had a good sense of humor, but on TV shows and stuff....women suck. Every women comedian has the same jokes...."Hey i'm a woman....here's jokes about being a woman" .... I thought MAYBE I liked Elaine from "Seinfeld"....but it turns out that I want to strangle her. So, does anyone know any?? I'd really like to find one so I can prove that I'm not sexist.