I was serving up some Aldorian Ale to a bunch of Ktarians, they are freaks....I overheard them talking about being into "water sports" and "cleveland steamers". I'm sure there's a few good things in Cleveland, but i'm not too fond of the steamers. While engaged in coversation with my "friend" Captain Naps, the topic of Dan Rather came up and the infamous "What's the Frequency Kenneth?" incident. Although i've heard of this and found it very funny, i never understood the meaning of the phrase. Naps explained that the guy was just crazy, he thought someone was sending messages to his brain using radio/tv waves. Hence asking Rather "Whats the Frequency?". As for the Kenneth part...i guess no one really knows. I mean, look at him....he doesn't look anything like a Kenneth. He looks like a Jack or Carleton .... he doesn't even look like a Dan. Carelton Merriweather...he looks like a Carleton Merriweather. What the hell kinda name is Dan Rather anyway...dan rather what? I would really like to ask the attacker guy "Who's Kenneth?". Well anyway, the world may never know. But at the very least,that phrase is one hell of a battle cry. Imagine belting out "Whats the Frequency Kenneth!?!?" and then punching someone in the face. Thats great...but i'm a pussy and would never actually do that. I probebly shouldn't make fun of this because that same man that attacked Dan ended up killing someone......but I'm sorry, I just don't care.
GUY: Whats the Frequency Kenneth?!!
DAN: Excuse Me?
GUY: ....I said "Whats the Frequency Kenneth?!"
DAN: Oh sorry...let me take off my huge 70's style headphones that are plugged into this record player that i'm for some reason carrying down the street....along with this generator to power it up.
GUY: Um.....Whats the Frequency Kenneth!?
DAN: ......7-Niner-8-Niner
GUY: Thanks
DAN: No problem
If it only went down like that...then the world would be a better place. Lastly, yesterday It was so friggin windy here. I saw this guy walking down the street with a bag of Burger King. The wind blew it right out of his hand...fries, nuggets and a burger went flying like ten feet. I tried not to laugh...but it was hilarious! I seriously thought about grabbing the burger...but i'm not that desperate. OR AM I ?!?!!?!
4 comments:
I guess that was never disproven. It's very X-Files. Maybe that guy mistook Rather for obscure actor Kenneth Branagh.
The thing about that... If I ever getten beaten by some deranged lunatic, I really hope REM writes a shitty song about the incident. That would really make me feel better.
I know right, like was that song supposed to be a tribute to Dan Rather getting beaten up??? Oh gee thanks alot guys.
Thats a good conspiracy theory. REM is the most useless code in Basic. AND the most useless band in history.
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