Noah'z Ark

There was this show on the history channel entitled "Noah's Ark: The True Story". Now i'm not agnostic, but i'm sorry.......the TRUE story!!! Can you really say that??? I'm offended by the simple fact that this is on the History Channel. Isn't history supposed to be stuff that actually happened?

First of all, i guess the dude could have built an ark, i'm not doubting that. But you really want me to believe that he somehow traveled around the world and collected two of EVERY creature and also fit them into the ark....AND had enough food and water to keep them alive for the 40 days and 40 nights (or whatever it was).........I mean seriously it's not possible. So you want to argue that it was a miracle, God took care of all the tidbits, Noah just drove the boat. Well it's GOD!!! He could have easily had just killed everyone and kept those damn animals alive, he can do whatever he wants!! Why would he have Noah build and ark and do all that crap....for shits and giggles (what does that even mean)!!!

Look, the bible has great morals and guidance, but stop taking the "STORIES" literally. There wasn't an Ark, there wasn't a Giant and a guy didn't live in a whale!

I noticed i'm a big fan of this "........" and commas,,,,,, and exclamation points !!!!!! and multiple question marks ????? and also the surprise zinger, such as this:
I was in Dakota last night...............DAKOTA FANNING! (making yourself seem like a child rapist is always funny)
or
I was in Ferris Bueller..........LITERALLY! (making yourself seem gay is always good for big laughs)

This is a funny thing to say to someone:
"My favorite scene in the karate kid is when he wax-off" (yet again making yourself seem gay = laughs)