Star Trek VGR Episode 14 - Faces

"B'Elanna Torres is split into her human and Klingon halves by the Vidiians."

As soon as this episode started I had my doubts about it. There is just so much technically wrong with it. Although it was interesting to hear B'Elanna's origin story and how she struggles with her human and Klingon sides. I did enjoy that they brought back the Vidiians.

So in an effort to cure the Phage, the Viddians have kidnapped Torres, Paris and a redshirt. The Vidiian doctor uses his advanced medical technology to separate Torres into two people; her Klingon self and her Human self. The human side is the total opposite of the Klingon side. He experiments on Klingon Torres in an effort to figure out the Klingons amazing ability to resist sickness. Then in a weird scene...he kills the redshirt and wears his face in an effort to impress Torres?? Haha, what the hell?!?!

So the two Torres's escape with Paris and try to get back to Voyager. Meanwhile, Chakotay has been altered to look like a Vidiian, he shows up guns blazing and gets them out... although Klingon Torres is killed?? Back on the ship, The Doctor adds B'Elanna's Klingon DNA back into her human body. She is restored. First of all, if the Vidiians have such advanced medical tech ... to the point where they can separate a person into two ... why can't they cure this fucking disease!?!? The Vidiians seemingly could at least create new faces for themselves. Then back on Voyager, The Doctor so easily turns human Torres back into a Klingon. It's all too convenient.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 13 - Cathexis

"A shuttlecraft with Chakotay and Tuvok aboard is attacked; Chakotay is left brain-dead, while Tuvok begins acting strangely. An unknown force begins controlling crewmembers."

Again, I just can't look at Chakotay the same way after finding out that the consultant was a phony. This episode is full of "Native American mysticism".
An alien being begins possessing crewmembers and has them steer the ship towards the center of a Nebula. This race needs to feed off of their energy to survive. Realizing that no one is safe, Janeway divides the ships Command Codes between various people. Meanwhile, Torres uses a Native American mystic wheel to help guide Chokotay's spirit while he is brain dead ... just go with it.

Things get serious when Tuvok is possessed and takes over the ship. Janeway gives special Command to The Doctor, as he is the only one that is "unposessable". I'm happy for The Doctor, this is an important moment for him. The spirit of Chakotay helps to overpower this being and they remove it from the ship. Now they are still deep inside the Nebula and do not know how to get out. Chakotay's spirit possesses Neelix and has him make a map of the exit on his mystic wheel. They escape and all crewmembers are restored to normal by The Doctor. It was a watchable episode.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 12 - Heroes and Demons

"The holographic doctor must rescue crew members who were turned to light energy in a Holodeck simulation of Beowulf."

Kim goes missing and they figure out that the last place he was, was in the holodeck using a Beowulf program. Everybody that they send in after him, disappears as well. The Beowulf program has seemingly come to life. Typically I do not like these Holodeck episodes, but this one is well acted (particularly Freya) and it looks great (particularly Freya). I enjoy this 10th-ish century time period stuff generally. So anyway, the only person that can safely go into the Holodeck is The Doctor. Janeway gives him, his first mission. He admits that he is nervous.

The Doctor goes in and plays the role of the hero very very well. I very much enjoyed seeing him in this capacity. Oh yeah and he also picked a new name, Shcweitzer?? Whatever. So, he forms a romance with Freya, but she is killed and dies in his arms. He then swears off the name of Schweitzer because it reminds him of Freya. The Doctor figures out that at some point the ship went through an energy cloud. Within this cloud was alien life forms. Essentially they attacked these aliens without knowing it. Now they are retaliating through controlling the Holodeck. In a gesture of peace, they take one of these energy life-forms and return it to the cloud. The End. I'm annoyed now for some reason.

The actress that played Freya was in Babylon 5.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 11 - State of Flux

Another good episode. Neelix, Chakotay and others are foraging for food on a planet. A Kazon ship shows up (remember them from the pilot episode?) and Janeway orders the away team back to the ship but Seska is missing. Seska is one of Chakotay's Marquis crew and evidently his girlfriend. She is also Bajoran. He finds her but they are attacked, he is hit but they manage to escape.

Back on the ship a distress call comes in from that same Kazon ship, there has been an explosion and they need help. An away team goes to the ship and finds only one Kazon alive, but in a coma. They also find something very surprising, Federation technology.

Tuvok deduces that the most logical explanation was that they have a spy on the ship. Blame points to Seska as she was the only one to "disappear" during that away mission. She denies it and tries to prove her innocence by retrieving proof on the Kazon vessel. She brings it back and Torres examines it, and realizes that it is one of their food replicators. Another Kazon ship shows up and they come aboard to retrieve their comrade, but they kill him instead. Very suspicious.

Kes and the Doctor make another odd discovery, according to Seska's blood sample she is not Bajoran but a Cardassian! This just gets weirder. Still she denies being a spy and seems very genuine. Signs now point to another crewmember, Lt. Carey. He also denies it. So Chakotay and Tuvok lay a trap for the spy....and Seska walks right into it. It was her after all. She did it to make peace with the Kazon. She thinks they will make strong allies. But, no one agrees. Suddenly she beams off the ship and onto the Kazon vessel.

Honestly, I hoped it wasn't her. I actually started to like the character, but I'm guessing we will be seeing her again. Also I felt bad for Chakotay, he seems like a good guy. Oh well. This was a well done, "whodunit" episode.

An interesting factoid. Star Trek called in a Native American consultant to assist with the Chakotay character. Evidently this guy was a fake Indian, he was really an Armenian pretending to be Native American. This unfortunately makes the character of Chakotay incredibly offensive. I mean, The Accused: The Animated Series would be less offensive.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 10 - Prime Factors

"A race that could shorten Voyager's journey with a transportation device will not share its technology."

Voyager is contacted by a race called the Sikarians. Their technology is far superior to that of the Federation. They ask that the Voyager crew come their planet for leave, which they do. The planet is amazing in all ways. Kim discovers that they have a device called the transporter that the Sikarians use to send them 40,000 light years to any planet. This could in theory send Voyager 40,000 light years closer to home. Janeway meets with one of the leaders named Gath (the other one being Wayne). She asks to acquire this technology to which Gath declines, citing that they are forbidden to give technology to primitive races. Janeway likens this to their own Prime Directive, and realizes that this time THEY are the primitive people.

Kim is approached by a man willing to trade a transporter for a download of the ships library. Arts are very lucrative on this planet and having these would make this man very wealthy. Kim brings this offer to Janeway who declines because it would be immoral to do it this way. However, Torres and Tuvok take upon themselves to undermine the Captain and make the trade. Tuvok brings the device back to Voyager and activates it, but it is incompatible with Federation technology and the device explodes. So it was all for nothing. Janeway is pissed and disciplines everyone involved. This was a weird plot for Tuvok. He is a Vulcan so I doubt he would go behind his Captains back and he should be smart enough to realize that the technology may not even work... Anyway, decent episode.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 9 - Emanations

Voyager detects a brand new element and goes to a cavernous planet to investigate. There they discover a graveyard of sorts with humanoid bodies wrapped up. Suddenly a rift starts to open, they all beam out but Kim gets sucked into it. Simultaneously, out comes one of those humanoid bodies. The body ends up on Voyager and the Doctor revives it. It is a woman and I swear ... now I'm not just saying this ... it looks like Rocky Dennis.

Kim has been sent to this woman's home world of Vhnori and finds himself in a coffin of sorts. He gets out of the coffin pod and everyone now thinks that he is from the afterlife. There is a Vhnori guy who is about to die and he now questions if there even is an afterlife because Kim seems so...boring. Kim offers to take the guys place in his coffin, in hopes of getting sent back to the cavern (but he will also be killed in the process??).

Back on Voyager, Rocky Denise is freaking out because she realizes that there is no afterlife. She wants to just go home now. Her and Kim get transported simultaneously and switch places again. They revive Kim and all is well. Kim worries about ruining the planets religion but Janeway says that a mysterious energy is indeed coming from the caverns and it could be an afterlife. I like this about Star Trek, they never choose a side when it comes to Science or Religion. They leave anything open. It's show in which anything is possible.

This episode has the great Jerry Hardin in it.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 8 - Ex Post Facto

"Tom Paris is convicted of murder on an alien world, and his punishment is to witness the murder from the victim's perspective every 14 hours."

A fine episode directed by LeVar Burton. I must say that I'm sick of these "trial" episodes, they always have to rehash this plot. Nonetheless, this one was ok. So Tom and Harry go to a planet and meet with some scientists from a race named the Baneans. Tom notices that one of the scientists has a much younger and very sexy wife. Naturally he can't control himself and they get together. Though when confronted by Janeway, Paris basically says "I did not have sexual relations with that women..." Anyway, the ladies husband walks in on them and Paris stabs him. This is viewed through the memories of the dead man.

Tuvok eventually uncovers a plot between the wife, another scientist and Baneans' enemies to kill this guy. They lay a trap for the enemies in a shuttlecraft. Basically when they board the craft, Paris and Harry beam out. Then Janeway says that they have a bomb on the craft and it will detonate if they don't surrender. So simple, but effective. Now Tuvok plays the role of lawyer and reveals the plot to the other Baneans, thus clearing Paris. Tuvok is awesome.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 7 - Eye of the Needle

"A micro-wormhole is discovered that leads to the Alpha Quadrant, and the crew make contact with a Romulan ship on the other side."

Dare I say that this episode was fantastic? DARE I??? It actually was. Voyager discovers a wormhole. They send a probe into it and suddenly the probe is being scanned. They examine this and find out that the scan is coming from the Alpha Quadrant! I mean obviously they will not make it home in episode 7 but still, I was onboard. A communication comes in from the other side and it is a cargo vessel. Janeway explains their predicament but the other Captain thinks they are lying and ends communication. Tuvok figures out that the ship is not a cargo vessel but rather a Romulan science ship.

Later that night Janeway is in her quarters, in her nightgown and looking very nice may I add ... she communicates again with the Romulan Captain. They have a heart to heart and she convinces him that they are Starfleet and truly lost. She asks him to at least relay personal messages to their families. He wants to try and have a face to face communication first, which happens the next morning. Now he believes them.

Torres discovers a way to piggy-back a transporter beam onto their comm beam, meaning that they can all beam back to the Alpha Quadrant. The Romulan says that he is not allowed to let them beam to his ship, but he offers to beam to Voyager first and then maybe he can take them back. They successfully beam him over. So everything is looking great so far. Suddenly Tuvok discovers a big problem. The wormhole is also a time warp, the Romulan commander is from 20 years in the past! They can not follow him back, it would disrupt history. The Romulan is actually a very nice guy and he offers to relay their messages in 20 years. So he beams back to his time. Tuvok then reveals more bad news, the Romulan died four years ago... their messages were most likely never sent.

Subplot is of the Doctor. He has been training Kes to be a medical officer. Kes talks to Janeway about how everyone treats the Doctor like shit. Janeway point out that he is after all just a hologram. Kes argues that he is very real. Janeway meets with the Doctor and sees that he is more human than most people think. In the end, the Doctor asks for a name. I think it ends up being Doctor Funktavius.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 6 - The Cloud

"The crew enter a nebula to collect samples before realizing it is a living organism, and not before doing it an injury."

Classic Star Trek plot in which they find some sort of creature floating in space. Not too much going on here. Neelix has taken over as the ships chef (to save power on replicators) and morale officer. Kim and Harry go into the holodeck to a French whore house?? and meet a famous pool player. Chakotay helps Janeway discover her animal guide, a gecko. This is the first that I realized that Chakotay was a Native American. That is cool. It would have also been interesting if they made him a "Native American" from the planet in which Kirk became Kirok. Plus if their so concerned about power, then why are they wasting energy using the holodeck?

So after taking Voyager through the nebula, they discover that it was actually a living being and that they have injured it. So they bring the ship back inside and seal the wound using the ships engines as an energy beam. They fix the creature but use up precious power. Neelix knows of a planet nearby that they may be able to get some energy from, so the episode ends with them heading out.

Also, the guy that owns the junkyard on Breaking Bad is in this episode.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 5 - Phage

"An organ-harvesting species known as the Vidiians steal Neelix's lungs, leaving him to die."

I enjoyed this episode. In fact, so far I sort of liked all of the episodes. It does have that old Star Trek basic feel to it, they fly around and go to a planet. The characters are not great, but some are interesting at least. Mainly Neelix and the Doctor. Janeway is just ok, Kim seems like a nice guy in the vain of LaForge and Kes is friggin adorable ... in fact I think this actress is great. I'm still not big on Torres, Chakotay and Paris ... but that is fine, I never warmed to Kira or Dax on DS9 either.

As mentioned above, Neelix goes to explore a planet with Paris and ends up getting his lungs stolen. The Doctor gives him holographic lungs to keep him alive, but he can never again move. Janeway and crew go to the planet and find a sophisticated structure and medical equipment that trumps what Starfleet has. Voyager suddenly sees a ship fly away and they pursue it. The track the ship to an asteroid belt where it hides. Voyager uses a cool trick to find the ship. They shine lights into the asteroid belt and it reflects off the metal of the ship. Janeway immediately has the aliens taken aboard Voyager.

They are called the Vidiians and they are an intelligent, artistic and sophisticated race ... however a pathogen has been destroying them (called the Phage). It eats away at their flesh and organs. They can only survive by harvesting others organs. Janeway is horrified and she is tempted to kill them in order to retrieve Neelix's lungs from them. However, she refuses to stoop that low. The Vidiians are grateful and offer to use their sophisticated medical equipment to save Neelix. They do a lung transplant from Kes to Neelix. Saving Neelix! ....but how the hell is Kes still alive? I seriously have no idea.

The Doctor is funny in this one. The Vidiians scan him and they remark that it is strange that he is "not really here", to which the Doctor replies "I wish I wasn't". It's the best character, a witty, annoyed and miserable hologram???

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Star Trek VGR Episode 4 - Time and Again

"Investigating a planet just devastated by a polaric explosion, Janeway and Paris are engulfed by a subspace fracture and transported in time to before the accident."

The episode starts with Paris trying to get Harry Kim to go on a double date. It's very "Three's Company". All we need his Harry to bite his fist. He declines anyway because he has a wife and kids. Paris tells him to forget about his wife because she will not wait for him to return anyway. What a dick.

Kes than has a psychic vision of an entire planet burning and everyone dying. They do indeed detect a giant explosion on a nearby planet. An away team of Janeway, Paris and others go to the planet and see that it is devastated. There are energy anomalies everywhere and they get stuck in one, it brings them a few days in the past. They see the civilization as it was, they are pre-warp and use power plants. They discover terrorists that plan to blow up the power plants (which they assume is what causes the explosion).

Meanwhile on Voyager Kes psychically sees that Janeway and crew are in the past. Torres, Harry and Kes go to the burned-out planet and find an anomaly and try to open it with a warp generator. In the past, Janeway and Paris have been wrapped up in the terrorist plot, they try to prevent it but discover that the explosion is actually caused by Torres opening up the rift! Janeway closes the anomaly rift before Torres opens it and suddenly they are sent back to the beginning of the episode. Paris and Kim are discussing going on the double date. Janet overhears them but misinterprets it as they are going on a date with each other... Kes realizes that the planet is safe. They have avoided the destruction, at least for now ... the terrorists still exist. They can't interfere however because of the Prime Directive. One of the people on the planet is played by Joel Polis, who was the rival bar owner Gary from Cheers!

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Star Trek VGR Episode 3 - Parallax

"Voyager is trapped in a quantum singularity's event horizon, and Captain Janeway must decide between Lt. Carey  and former Maquis B'Elanna Torres to be the new chief engineer."

Janeway has trouble buying into Torres as chief engineer. She is a hothead and Janeway has an order of rank to abide by. The union would have a field day with this one! New first officer Chakotay stands by her abilities however.

The ship has been stuck in this quantum singularity. They try to travel to a nearby planet but end up back at the beginning of the singularity (also they physically went back to the point in time that they first reached the singularity). They must find their original entrance point and exit through it. Finally they find the point but it has shrunk. Janeway and Torres take a shuttlecraft to the point and they succeed in expanding it. Janeway also sees that Torres is the right choice for Chief Engineer. They go to turn the shuttlecraft around and they see TWO Voyager's! One is the "current" one and the other is the "past" one. Janeway makes an educated guess at which one to return to. She guesses right.

Meanwhile the Doctor is shrinking. His program needs some repairs. This plot has nothing to do with anything, but damn the Doctor is a fun character.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 2 - Caretaker pt. 2

Tuvok figures out that The Caretaker is dying. They confront The Caretaker about sending them back home. He reveals that his intention was to kidnap people from all over the place in order to run his Array when he was gone. With this plan not going to happen, The Caretaker now intends to destroy the Array so that it doesn't fall into the Kazon's hands. If the Array is destroyed, then Voyager will not get back home. The Kazon now begin trying to take over the Array (this is weird because previously the Kazon seemed to be desert people who barely had water and food, now they have spaceships??). Voyager and the Marquis begin fighting to protect the Array. Chakotay decides to kamikaze his ship into the Kazon ship, which is awesome and insane. They beam him out at the last second.

With the Kazon stopped. Janeway and Tuvok go to see The Caretaker. He slowly dies. Janeway now has to make a decision...use the Array to go home or respect The Caretakers wishes and destroy it, effectively trapping them 70 years from the Alpha Quadrant. She decides to destroy the Array. Flat-out, wrong decision. Even Tuvok said that interfering is a breach of the Prime Directive. Granted it would most likely mean doom for the Ocampa but still, I am not on board with this. Kirk would have figured out a way to do both, get home AND destroy the Array. Also, I remember a TNG episode in which they ended up light years away from home and they were able to get back rather quickly somehow (not sure if Q helped though). At the end Janeway gives a pep talk. She says that sure it will take 70 years to get back, but she is optimistic that they will find technology, a wormhole or a race that can help them speed up the process. After all, they are completely in unknown territory so anything is possible. She also makes the Marquis officially part of Voyager.

So right there, the setup to Voyager has awesome possibilities. It harkens back to TOS in which everything was a new discovery. The writers could make up an entire new Universe. It can really be like TOS but with far better filming technology. The characters themselves are not great, but there are a few that already standout. The Doctor is a great character, although why they made the hologram have the personality of a 1980s stand-up comic I have no idea. Neelix is already cool. He is quirky like Quark but has already proven to be a thousand times braver. Tuvok is awesome and I love having a Vulcan back on a Starfleet crew. Janeway is just OK, tough but can be annoying...and that voice. Torres and Kim so far do not have any character development. It seemed like they made a big deal about Paris and then he was completely lame in this episode. Chakotay, at least in this episode, was badass. The ship itself looks cool, typical Star Trek looking. The opening sequence was beautiful, especially when it shows Voyager travelling over Saturn. Basically, I would say so far so good with Voyager.

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Star Trek VGR Episode 1 - Caretaker pt. 1

So begins Voyager. I was going to watch Insurrection first but it is not on Netflix so I don't have a good way to watch it right now. Therefore I will hold off until after Season 4 of Voyager (which is were it falls in the timeline). This is assuming that I don't have a nervous breakdown by then.

The episode begins with the crew getting together on DS9 and Janeway recruiting the former Starfleet Officer/former Marquis operative Tom Paris to assist in their new mission. The only crossover with DS9 however is a quick scene with Quark, they should have had Sisko show up at least. Voyager is tasked with finding a Marquis ship that went missing in the Badlands. The reason why this ship matters is that Tuvok is undercover on it. The leader of this ship is Marquis Mark ... I can't remember if I already used that joke. Anyway, his name is actually Chakotay and the other crewmember is the human/Klingon B'Elanna Torres. So suddenly Voyager is bombarded by an energy beam and they find themselves 70,000 light years from the Alpha Quadrant. Also, the same thing has happened to the Marquis ship.
Nearly the entire crew is killed, including the whole medical staff. They are now forced to use the Emergency Hologram Doctor. The crew is then brought upon a large structure called the Array by a being named The Caretaker. They are subject to experiments and exams. They also find out that crewmember Harry Kim and Torres have been taken to a nearby desert planet.

The Caretaker is from a race that has been keeping this planet functioning for a long time. He aids the original inhabitants known as the Ocampa (they live underground). There is also a race of top dwellers named the Kazon and they oppress the Ocampa. The crew is released from the Array and Voyager then meets a local space adventurer named Neelix and recruits him to help rescue Kim and Torres. He agrees, if they give him water. They all go the desert planet and Neelix gives the water to the Kazon in exchange for his girlfriend? named Kes, an Ocampa. Now they can use her to get underground to find the lost crewmembers. The Marquis and Voyager crews decide to join forces, because they basically have no other choice. An away team is sent and Kim and Torres are rescued.....

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Star Trek Deep Space 9 - Final Thoughts

Wow, so I managed to finish another Star Trek series. DS9 took me a little over a year to complete, which is pretty quick considering TNG took me two full years. I desperately want to say that I enjoyed DS9 better than TNG, but this may just be me in the afterglow and in my heart I know that this isn't true. But! It is pretty damn close.

I did not consistently watch the show when it was originally on TV. I caught only episodes here and there. So this is the first time I had seen the series in its entirety. I was pleasantly surprised at how well written, well acted and well directed it was. The show always looked great, especially the space scenes ... they really nailed this down. While TOS and TNG had a bunch of great episodes, DS9 had a few phenomenal episodes. Mainly the ones in which Sisko goes to Earth as an alternate self. Now I'm not one for social commentary in my TV shows, I watch TV to get away from real life and not to be preached to, but DS9 did this so well that you can't help but get swept up in it.

The show knew exactly how to mix up the episodes. They would do a Worf plot and then follow it up with a Bashir plot and then follow that up with a comic relief Quark plot. They mixed it up so well that it never dragged (except that episode where Quark dresses like a woman ... get it? dragged?? whatever). I would say that even at it's worst, DS9 was average. That is saying a lot.

So now I have to watch Insurrection and then followed by the dreaded Voyager. I have been told by many people that I will not make it through Voyager. I will make it through, simply because at this point I have to. I barely watched any Voyager episodes when they originally aired and in fact I can't recall ever seeing reruns of this show either. Is it really as bad as everyone says?

Star Trek DS9 Episode 176 - What You Leave Behind pt. 2

So it continues. The visuals in this episode are amazing. The battle scenes between the Federation/Klingon/Romulan and the Jem'Hadar/Dominion/Breen (plus the Cardassians) are so cool looking. Think back to TOS, did you ever think you would see Starfleet forces ever combined with Romulans and Klingons? Excellent stuff.

Now thing begin to wind down. Odo meets up with the Founder and offers to cure her and all of the rest if they agree to end the war. She eventually agrees. Odo must now go back to the great link, forever. Garak heads to Cardassia to help them rebuild, he says goodbye to Bashir and doubts that they will ever meet again. The rest of the crew meet up at Vic's for the peace treaty signing. Suddenly Sisko feels that he must hurry up and leave. He is being drawn to the Bajoran fire caves, he says goodbye to Kassidy (who is pregnant).

At the caves, Dukat has been in a fight with Kai Wynn. She had poisoned "fake Dukat" but the Pah Wraiths brought him back to life and made him even more powerful. Sisko finally shows up but Wynn is dying, she tells Sisko to destroy that book thing. He does and suddenly Sisko is transported to the Celestial Temple where the Prophets tell him that he has finished his task. He must now rest with them. This could take years. Sisko visits Kassidy in a dream and tells her that he will return but doesn't know when.

Everyone says their final goodbyes. Quark makes amends with Odo and Odo shares a sad moment with Kira before he leaves forever. O'Brien goes to teach at Starfleet Academy and Worf joins Martok as a Klingon ambassador.

There is a great montage at the end highlighting the relationships between all of the characters. The final scene is great, it shows Jake and Kira looking out one of the DS9 windows as the camera pans out into space. Beautiful. I didn't always get the Dominion plot, I didn't particularly like the prophet plot but I thought that this final episode as a whole was great.

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Star Trek DS9 Episode 175 - What You Leave Behind pt. 1

The final two episodes! Amazing.

The Federation is about to embark on the big assault. O'Brien is thinking about leaving the station after the war. Bashir and Ezri are now an item. Kira, Damar and Garak are captured and sentenced to die by the Founder. But amazingly all of the Cardassians suddenly turn on the Dominion. Kira, Garak and Damar attack the command base. They kill the last Weyoun and capture the Founder. Sadly, not before she orders the massacre of every Cardassian. Thousands are killed and the Founder refuses to give up.... So far this is an excellent two part final episode. As much as the build up to this entire Jem'Hadar/Dominion thing was painful at times, well this is ending has been very entertaining.

175 down and 1 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 174 - The Dogs of War

"Sisko takes command of a new ship; Kira and Garak face a Dominion ambush on Cardassia."

Kira, Garak and Damar walk into a trap and end up having to hide out in Garak's "mothers" house. It is sort of funny because she continues to coddle him. Unfortunetly this is a big blow to the Cardassian rebellion as everyone now thinks that Damar is dead. The Jem'Hadar have taken major hits because of the combines forces of the Federation, it's allies and the Rebellion. The head Changeling calls for one final mass assault. Sisko anticipates this and calls for one final mass assault of his own.

Kira suggest they attack the Jem'Hadar which the three of them do and succeed. After this Damar reveals himself (not in that way) to the public and gets the rebellion going again.

Meanwhile the Grand Nagus is retiring and he offers his position to Quark. After learning that the Nagus has turned the Ferengi into civilized people, Quark becomes disgusted. He wonders how anyone can live in a world where the rich do not get richer and an employer can't demand sex from his employees (he actually does say this, it was pretty funny). Come to find out that it was all a misunderstanding and Rom was actually the one to become the new Grand Nagus.

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Star Trek DS9 Episode 173 - Extreme Measures

As an episode, this was good. I just did not like some of the details of it. The premise is this: Bashir lures Sloan into a trap. Him and O'Brien interrogate him to the point of suicide... oops. Now in order to get the information that they seek (how to cure Odo), they use this machine to link up with his brain and access his memories. Which I do not think is too far fetched for Star Trek but it is however too convenient. Plus, I don't recall this device ever being used before. So O'Brien warns Julian that he must hurry because once Sloan's brain dies, then all memories are lost. Also, if Bashir is sill in Sloan's mind when he dies... then Julian dies as well. Really??? REALLY??? Anyway, Bashir gets the info and also learns secrets about Section 31 which he plans on using to bring down that organization. I don't know how I feel about that. In the end Bashir gets the cure and injects Odo, who is then completely cured in literally 3 seconds. This is a big mistake. They really should have killed off Odo. Nothing against him, I really liked the character. But, the series is over and Star Trek never really kills off a big name character. This would have been the perfect opportunity. It could have been one of the most dramatic things to happen in a Trek series.

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Star Trek DS9 Episode 172 - Tacking into the Wind

Got a little lost during this one. But basically, Odo turns himself into that female Changeling and goes with Damar to steal the powerful Breen energy weapon (Odo is the first transgender person on TV). Which they successfully do. The Federation now has this weapon and it's a game changer. Odo is also hiding his illness from everyone, but Kira suspects the truth. Miles and Bashir plan to release false info about discovering a cure in order to draw Section 31 out of the shadows.

In a very important Star Trek moment, Worf and Martok turn agains Chancellor Gowron because he seems corrupt and power hungry. Worf challenges Gowron and ends up killing him. Gowron has been Chancellor since TNG, but now that honor falls to Worf. He declines and instead gives the honor to Martok.

172 down and 4 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 171 - When It Rains…

A very solid episode here. First of all Damar has been effectively keeping the Dominion on their toes with his uprising, this gives Sisko enough time to rebuild his forces. He also sends Kira to train the Cardassians in guerilla warfare. It's a crazy decision because the Cardassians not only hate Bajorans but I'm sure they especially would not want to take orders from a Bajoran woman. She handles herself well and kicks a bunch of ass, I almost start to like Kira at this point.


Meanwhile, fake Dukat looks at the sacred book and goes blind. This plot is getting worn thin, they could have ended it two episodes ago.

Bashir has taken a sample of Odo in order to test it. He is trying to found a cure to the disease that has been wiping out the Founders. It was sort of weird because I expected Odo to rip a piece of himself off and give it to Julian. But he seems to piss in a cup??? Anyway, Bashir finds out that Odo is infected! That is rather shocking. Not only that but Starfleet is unwilling to help him find a cure because they actually want the Founders to die...which honestly is understandable. Bashir then discovers that not only has Section 31 been sabotaging his work, but they were the ones who initially spread the virus. In fact, the first one they infected was Odo.

171 down and 5 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 170 - The Changing Face of Evil

"The war reaches a crucial turning point when the Dominion retakes the Chin'Toka system, the only Allied foothold in enemy space. Meanwhile, Winn learns that Dukat plans to release the Pah-Wraiths, and Damar leads a revolt against the Dominion."

The episode begins with Sisko finding out that the Breen attacked Earth and destroyed San Francisco. Unless I missed something, they never actually showed this. It would have been an incredibly dramatic scene, but maybe they felt strange about showing a U.S. city being destroyed?? I don't know.

There is a huge battle and the Defiant is destroyed. Meanwhile "Dukat" convinces Winn to get him some powerful Bajoran book that while give him powers or something, again I don't know. She eventually figures out his secret.

Damar sends a message that the Cardassians will be fighting against the Dominion. He proves their intent by destroying the Vorta cloning facility meaning no more Wayoun's. Bashir and Ezri have weird tension now. Worf is jealous and he keeps saying how Bashir plays with action figures because Julian has been building a model of the Alamo. The episode ends with Sisko about to join forces with Damar.

170 down and 6 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 169 - Strange Bedfellows

"An alliance is born between the Dominion and the Breen which will prove devastating for the Federation. Ezri and Worf are sentenced to death on Cardassia."


The Breen are really cool, too bad it took them this long to be introduced into the series. They are very "Star Wars".

The Cardassian named Damar does not want an alliance with the Breen. He is very skeptical. It makes matters worse when Weyound doesn't react to a Klingon attack on one of the Cardassian outposts, and also the Breen are then allowed access to secret Cardassian data. Damar decides to withdraw the Cardassians from the alliance, save the lives of Ezri and Worf and help the Federation. This is a very lucky turn of events because The Federation would have had a very formidable enemy if that alliance held.

Meanwhile Bashir realizes that he likes Ezri. Also, "Dukat" convinces Winn to follow the Pah-raith path and basically destroy Bajor in order to rebuild it into a stronger society. At least that's what I got from it.


169 down and 7 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 168 - Til Death Do Us Part

"Captured by the Breen, Ezri and Worf undergo mental torture. Sisko agonizes over his broken engagement."

So Sisko doesn't listen to the Prophets and marries Yates anyway. I'm expecting this to come back to haunt him at some point. Dukat (now surgically altered to look like a Bajoran) arrives on DS9 and he immediately starts to bond with Kai Winn over their shared experiences at the hands of the evil Cardassians (which is obviously a ploy). It works because soon Winn believes that "Dukat" was sent to her by the Prophets to be her guide. The Dominion could now have total manipulation over one of the Bajorans main leaders. Well played.

The ending reveals that Ezri and Worf are still captured and being tortured. Although the mental torture involves them agonizing over their love (or not) for each other. Lame. Ezri yells out that she is in love with Bashir, for some reason. Then Wayoun officially announces that the Breen have joined the Dominion.

168 down and 8 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 167 - Penumbra

"Ezri searches for a missing Worf and Sisko makes plans to marry Kasidy Yates."


Here is where DS9 heads for the home stretch. Things start getting wrapped up and the plot begins moving towards the final episode. Worf is on a Klingon mission and he gets lost in the Badlands. Ezri goes searching for him and Sisko reluctantly lets her to go. Because why not send the therapist alone into a hostile environment to save a Klingon. Anyway, she finds him and he is irritated by her...so eventually they have sex. They still have some odd connection because it is still technically Dax, I think. Also, Sisko asks Kasidy to marry him....but the Prophets show up (in the guise of his dead wife) and tell him that marrying her is a bad idea.

Ezri and Worf get captured by the Breen. They are a new alien race and I sort of dig them. They are kind of badass looking. Soon Wayoun shows with a Cardassian and a Founder, it is reveled that the Dominion has a new alliance. In addition to this, Dukat has been surgically altered to look like a Bajoran and he has a really good plan up his sleeve to take down the Bajorans, this will be revealed next episode.

I thought of something while watching this episode. Isn't Sisko being the Emissary a conflict of interest for him being a high ranking Starfleet official. The Federation is supposed to be impartial I think, but the Emissary would somewhat beholden to the Prophets and Bajor.

167 down and 9 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 166 - Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges

"While attending a diplomatic conference on Romulus, Bashir becomes an unwilling pawn of Section 31."

Finally Section 31 is back!. I like Sloan and am generally interested in the Bashir super-spy plot. In this one Bashir is being used by Section 31 to affect the outcome of a diplomatic conference. I think. Too be honest, it was the longest most complex and convoluted plot ever. I didn't understand half of it. But, I don't understand half of the James Bond plots either so maybe I'm just dumb. Anyway, at least the episode was fun. Also, Adrienne Barbeau is in this episode as Senator Cretak, who is sort of in the center of this entire plot, she was very good. I'm pretty sure that Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges is Latin for 'She got legs and she knows how to use them".

166 down and 10 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 165 - Badda-Bing Badda-Bang

"The crew attempt to help Vic Fontaine when Vic's hotel is bought by mobsters Frankie Eyes and Carl Zeemo."

So I didn't really hate this Vic episode. It was actually watchable. Maybe because Vic gets beaten up in it. It has a good cast of Hollywood mobster bit actors in it too. Not really much too say about this one except it ends up being a straight up mob episode with maybe a little bit off Ocean's Eleven thrown in. They always seem to have Kira play the femme fatale, but she is really not that sexy anymore so it doesn't really work that well.

165 down and 11 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 164 - Chimera

"A Changeling, Laas, asks Odo to leave the station and join his search for other shapeshifters. Laas was with the Varalans and has learned to assume a space-faring creatures form."


At first I thought this was going to be an old school Trek type episode. They find a weird creature floating in space, I mean that's the basis of like half the TOS episodes. I was disappointed when it ended up being a shapeshifter. This shifter is part of a group that has no clue about the Founders. He wants Odo to join them and he teaches Odo some new shifting skills. Odo wants to stay with Kira, even though (as she puts it) she is unable to join with him??? Not sure what she means.

164 down and 12 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 163 - Field of Fire

"Ezri summons a homicidal Dax, Joran, incarnation to understand the mind of a killer in order to solve recent murders."

It sounds like a dumb plot, but I sort of enjoyed this one. Dax gets drunk and hooks up with some guy, the next morning she finds him dead. The weapon they discover is a prototype Starfleet phaser/rifle that can shoot through walls by using a small transporter attached to it (which is actually a cool idea). Soon more people start to die. Ezri summons a former serial killer Dax from her subconscious and he helps her solve the crime (yeah, this is a bit far fetched). They find out that the killer is a Vulcan, I really liked the twist because you would never think that a Vulcan would do this. Come to find out that this Vulcan is one of the few survivors from the USS Grissom. He witnessed many deaths and is now insane because of it.

163 down and 13 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 162 - The Emperor's New Cloak

"Quark and Rom cross into the alternate universe to rescue Grand Nagus Zek."

This mirror universe is seriously the most flawed plot in Star Trek history. DS9 should never have used it more than two times, because the more they show the mirror universe the more it exposes inaccuracies.

So, Nagus Zek steals secrets for a cloaking device and takes them into the mirror universe to sell them for profit (a. is the currency even usable in the real world. b. cloaking devices already exist in mirror world, as seen in earlier episodes). Nagus gets arrested or something and Rom and Quark go to save him. Which they eventually do. Not much else going on, other than all of the females in the mirror universe are lovers for some reason. Kira is matched up with Ezri (who in this universe is a sexy vixen) and then at the end it seems like Leeta is also involved with Ezri. It's just a weird twist, but if you think about it ... in the real universe Kira is dating Odo, Leeta is married to Rom and Ezri/Dax was married to Worf. If these are your fucking options for men, than might as well just go for the women. Anyway, there is a scene were Kira says to Ezri "I have to debrief you now" and Ezri says "This must be my lucky day". Who wrote this episode, Larry Flint???

162 down and 14 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 161 - Prodigal Daughter

"Ezri goes to New Sydney to find O'Brien and uncovers some disturbing family secrets. Miles goes in search of the widow of Liam Bilby, Morica Bilby, whom he befriended in an undercover operation."

O'Brien goes awol to find the wife of some guy that died while he was undercover for the Orion Syndicate. Why would O'Brien even do this? Yet another plot that doesn't make sense, but who really cares anymore. He ends up on the same planet that Ezri is from. (may I add she is still cute as ever). Sisko sends Ezri to find Miles.

On the planet (which for some reason is named New Sydney ... also it seems like a dump), Ezri meets up with her family which seem to be some kind of bigwig mining family. Meanwhile, O'Brien discovers that Morica Bilby has been murdered and he suspects the Syndicate.

Plots collide when it is revealed that Ezri's family had to pay a ransom of sorts to Morica by order of the Syndicate. Tired of being beholden to this, Ezri's brother killed Morica Bilby.

This episode has a bunch of guest stars including; some guy that was on Knots Landing, Ted from Mad Men, Leigh Young who played Rachel Harris on Picket Fences and maybe the greatest Star Trek cameo ever .... Jambi from Pee-Wee's Playhouse.

161 down and 15 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 160 - It's Only a Paper Moon

"Nog struggles with PTSD and begins living with Vic Fontaine."

And here it is. The shittiest Vic Fontaine episode ever. Which is a shame because the subject matter had potential and actually Aron Eisenberg was fantastic in it. I would almost suggest watching it just to see his performance, almost. It's just that Vic Fontaine is just so fucking intolerable.

Nog is losing his shit over losing his leg. ...that was almost clever. He "moves in" with Vic. Which I don't understand how that even works on so many levels. First of all, when the holosuite is off it appears to be the size of an average living room. So, how does it suddenly turn into Vic's gigantic casino plus Vic's apartment? Also (Captain Naps brought this point up), Vic is a hologram so obviously he doesn't need to go to the bathroom...but Nog is humanoid. Nog has evidently been living in the holosuite for weeks. I assume he is crapping in a hologram toilet, so once the program is shut off wouldn't there just be shit and piss like all over the floor???

There is a ridiculous montage of Nog and Vic having fun together; eating popcorn, watching movies, reading the newspaper together. In one scene they are at the zoo, Vic lifts up one leg pretending to be a flamingo, Nog falls over a fence and Mr. Furley mimics a lion! Ok, that one didn't happen.

160 down and 16 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 159 - Covenant

"Dukat, now a religious leader, holds Kira hostage. Mika, one of Dukat's followers, gives birth to a half-Cardassian child."


What a waste of time. Fine, Dukat is a cult leader, I will buy into that. He want's everyone to commit suicide (except he will fake it), why not. He gets lady pregnant then kills her to cover it up, I guess. By why the hell did he kidnap Kira? He all these plans and then he kid naps her for no reason and she ruins everything. It's pointless. But maybe he is just supposed to have gone crazy.

159 down and 17 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 158 - The Siege of AR-558

"Sisko and crew relieve Starfleet troops under siege by Jem'Hadar at a key communications outpost, AR-558, the largest dominion communications array in the sector."

Fantastic. This has to be the "realest" depiction of war that Star Trek had ever done. That's not to say it's accurate, because damned if I know. So the basic plot is that Starfleet has just taken over the largest Dominion Communications Array. It was a tough fight and many Starfleet members are wounded. Sisko and crew (consisting of the usual members...plus Quark for some reason) are sent to assess the area and help with aid. Unfortunately, while they are there helping out the wounded the Jem'Hadar attempt to take the outpost back. They launch an insane attack. It's not the typical "spaceships shooting at each other" fight scene, this is ground troops. Sisko and the remaining soldiers are vastly outnumbered but they fight hard. Many more are killed and Nog loses his leg. Also, Vic Fontaine shows up for no reason ugghh. In the end they fend off the attack but not before many loses. I must mention that Bull Mumy and the dude that plays Tuco from Breaking Bad/Saul are both in this episode. And I guess it never aired on BBC because it was too violent.


158 down and 18 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 157 - Once More Unto the Breach

"Worf finds a battle assignment for Kor, an aging Klingon hero."

I feel that DS9 is now starting to limp to the end of the series. I don't blame them for running out of ideas or putting out subpar episodes at this point, I mean 25 episodes per season is way too many. These series' easily could have put out 14 awesome episodes and done away with the 10 remaining average ones.

Anyway, this episode is ok I guess. The elderly Klingon Kor asks Worf to help him participate in one last battle before he is too old. So Worf hooks him up ... completely unaware that Kor is senile. They end up with Martok (who hates Kor), but after Kor loses his mind on the ship Martok starts feeling bad for him.

They are soon attacked by Jem'Hadar and of course Kor ends up sacrificing himself and saving the day. Very predictable. His family then went on to create Kors Beer and have a series of commercials starring Mark Harmon.

Also this should have been the plot: An elderly Kor asks Worf to help him get laid one more time before he is too old. The episode is named "Once More Unto the Breeches"

157 down and 19 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 156 - Treachery, Faith, and the Great River

"A Vorta defector, Weyoun-6, gives Odo valuable information in exchange for asylum. Weyoun-7, the next clone in the series, pursues them. Meanwhile Nog engages in a series of barters to get a Graviton Stabilizer for Miles."


It was good to have an Odo plot again, I missed him. This one was not great however, but oh well. I really dislike these Weyoun clone characters. Weyoun-6 was decent because he was "defective" meaning that he new that the Dominion was bad. He has a good idea to have Odo take over the Dominion and rebuild it into something good. Which would have been an interesting plot, but unfortunately this idea seemed to die out by the end of the episode.

I enjoyed Nog going through a complicated and strange series of barters to obtain the stabilizer for Miles.

156 down and 20 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 155 - Chrysalis

"Bashir falls for a genetically enhanced patient, Sarina Douglas, that he brought out of a catatonic state using an experimental medical procedure."


There's really not much too this episode. Those genetically enhanced mental patients show back up on the station and they want Bashir to help them operate on Sarina. She has not been able to speak for years (or maybe ever, I don't know), and they want Bashir to give her a voice. Which he does. She is sort of freaked out by this. Bashir falls in love with her, but she leaves DS9 to work as a scientist somewhere. But, it's left off as maybe she will be back and I think she seems interested in Bashir. Don't know. It was an OK episode. Also, remember when Bashir became a real life super spy?? So far, it has never been mentioned again.

155 down and 21 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 154 - Take Me Out to the Holosuite

"Sisko must train his staff to play baseball when the Vulcans, led by Solok, challenge them to a game."

This is such a dumb episode. A huge waste of time. Why would Vulcans even care about playing baseball? They end up losing 10-1 anyway. Rom is really bad at baseball and he ends up bunting home the only run (scored by Nog). I guess the message is, if you try hard enough at something then your team will still lose by 9 runs. When Rom hits home Nog, they should have cut to the scene in the Who's the Boss theme song where Tony Danza slides into home plate. For no reason.

154 down and 22 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 153 - Afterimage

"Everyone who knew Jadzia Dax reacts strongly to Ezri Dax's presence, particularly Worf. Meanwhile Garak suffers from bad claustrophobic attacks."

This episode is basically an into to Ezri. She ends up on DS9 and reveals that she is Dax. Everyone seems to hate her, especially Worf. So she does the natural thing and decides to stay on DS9 as the station councilor. It doesn't make much sense, but whatever.

153 down and 23 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 152 - Shadows and Symbols

A few things going on in this one. Sisko, Ezri (the new Dax), Jake and Sisko's dad go searching for what Sisko saw in the sand in his vision from last episode. They end up on a desert planet named Tyree. Sisko find a spot and digs. He discovers an Ark with one of those magical orbs in it. Ezri urges him to open it and basically it opens the wormhole back up. Then Sisko's mothers ghost shows up and tells him that she was an alien the entire time. His birth was pre-destined, as was his entire life.

Meanwhile Kira has set up a blockade to fend off the Romulans who are being rather sketchy. Worf and crew are off destroying a Dominion base in addition to trying to secure Jadzia's spot in Klingon heaven.

A weird thing that has been happening these past few episodes is that there is flashes to Sisko in an insane asylum. The doctors keep commenting on how he is delusional and made up this entire story about being on a spaceship. I would love it if the last episode revealed that Star Trek was just a dream by some weirdo in a nut house. It would be so dumb.

152 down and 24 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 151 - Image in the Sand

Season 7 begins. Sisko is back on Earth with Jake. He is dealing with his feelings of failure and he has a strange prophetic vision of a mystery woman buried in sand. Back on DS9 Kira is in charge and has been promoted to Colonel. She is busy dealing with a new Romulan envoy on the station and she also opens a military hospital. Worf is still upset about Dax. Otherwise life goes on normally on the station. At the end, Sisko meets up with the "new" Dax. The trill is rather cute, but obviously much less abrasive than Jadzia.

151 down and 25 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 150 - Tears of the Prophets

This was a fairly action packed episode. Starfleet is planning an attack on the Dominion. The subplot is Work and Dax are trying to have a baby. Quark and Bashir are depressed because they officially stand no chance with Dax, they both go and spill their guts to .... ugghh Vic Fontaine. Anyway, this is all pointless.

Starfleet makes it's move, but the Dominion is ready. Dukat takes one of those artifacts and breaks it, allowing himself to be possessed by a powerful spirit (similar to what happened to Kira a few episodes back). On the Defiant Garak figures out a way to turn the Dominion weapons on themselves. Meanwhile on DS9 evil Dukat beams aboard and kills Dax. He then collapses the wormhole. Bashir saves the symbiote but  Jadzia dies. Sisko gets back to DS9 feeling like a failure. He takes Jake and goes back to Earth, leaving Kira in charge. This ends season 6. This episode had great space fighting scenes, it was very "Star Wars".

150 down and 26 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 149 - The Sound of Her Voice

"The Defiant picks up a distress call from Captain Lisa Cusak, whose escape pod has crashed on a remote planet following the destruction of her ship, the Olympia."

There is really not much else to this episode. Each individual member of the crew spends time talking to Captain Cusak as she slowly dies. They are trying to get to her in time, but it's going to be close. Meanwhile she sort of acts like a therapist as she helps everyone solve personal problems. They finally arrive on the planet to find Lisa dead. The thing is that she dies three years ago! This very night!! Due to a time distortion, they had been talking to her past self. It was actually a very interesting episode. Deb Wilson (from MadTV) played Lisa Cusak and was excellent.


(Side plot: Odo plans to celebrate his one month anniversary with Kira)

149 down and 27 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 148 - Time's Orphan

"Molly O'Brien disappears in a vortex and reappears as an 18-year-old woman, but she is now feral, bringing great difficulty for her parents."

Normally a plot like this would be dreadful, but this one works. It ended up having some interesting moments. So the O'Brien's are on a getaway to some planet and Molly falls into a vortex that takes her into the planets past. To a time when no one occupied it. The Enterprise crew devise a plan to get her out of the vortex. It takes only hours to retrieve her but when they get Molly back she is now 18 years old.

Molly is feral because she survived alone on the planet for 8 years. Miles and Keiko go about re-teaching her everything, including who she really is. In the end she understands a good deal, but she really misses "home". Miles and Keiko make the tough decision to send her back to her time.

The end is a good twist though. They send 18 yr old Molly through the vortex and she ends up back in the planets past. She then stumbles upon 10 year old Molly and tells her to go back through the vortex and she will be able to see her parents again. Much to Miles and Keiko's surprise, out of the vortex walks their young daughter again.

There is also a subplot in which Worf babysits Mile's son.

148 down and 28 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 147 - Profit and Lace

"Quark's mother and the Grand Nagus show up on DS9, announcing a new amendment to the Bill of Opportunities"

This is the weirdest episode ever. I mean, hands down, it has to be. Honestly I am not making any of this up...

So the Grand Nagus starts to speak up for women's rights on Ferengar. This causes everyone to hate him, he is overthrown and replaced by Brunt. In order to get back in favor he has Quark, Rom and Nog cold call Ferengi's and try to persuade them. It doesn't work. The next plan is to have Quark's mother talk to the richest Ferengi, who evidently owns a soda company??, and try to sway his opinion. Before she could meet with this guy, she has a heart attack.

Now it gets extra fucking weird. They come up with a plan to have Quark dress as a woman and take the place of his mother. He learns how to act womanly from the females on the station. But wait! The must take this shit all the way, Bashir then gives Quark a sex change. Yes, seriously. Then Quark meets with the soda tycoon and the guy tries to have sex with Quark the entire time. Brunt busts in and reveals the truth, that the woman is really Quark. So Quark takes things a step further and starts making out with the soda guy. Brunt still insists that the woman is really a man. So Quark rips open his shirt and shows them his tits!!! HAHA. What the hell is going on....

It pretty much ends there. Although, in the beginning of the episode there is an odd scene where Quark is trying to force his waitress to be a prostitute or else he will fire her. He gives her a sex book to read and then basically says that she has to test out what she learns with him... So at the very end, he apologizes to her because he now knows what it feels like to be a woman. She replies that she actually enjoyed the book and was interested in trying the stuff out...so I guess he goes and has sex with her. What the hell was the message here??

147 down and 29 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 146 - Valiant

"Jake and Nog come under attack by the Jem'Hadar and are rescued by a rogue Defiant class starship, the Valiant, under the command of Starfleet Red Squadron cadets."

I didn't care too much for the first time Red Squadron appeared on DS9, but this time was different. The Valiant is being completely run by Red Squadron (who, if you don't know, is just a crew of the best Starfleet cadets). Jake and Nog are on their way to Ferenginar (which is the name of the Ferengi home world, I never knew that), when they are attacked by the Jem'Hadar. Luckily for them, the Valiant is in the area trying to destroy a new style Dominion battle cruiser. They are saved and Nog is added to the team, while Jake is seen as an outsider.

The Valiant is considered to be a rogue ship, but that's not entirely true. The former Captain commissioned them to finish his mission when he was unable to, but it is officially unofficial. So anyway, the new Captain is Tim Watters. I was getting the vibe that they might be setting up a spin-off series, like maybe a Starfleet Academy show or something. The tone was interesting and the Captain was a nutcase, sort of like a Kirk. But, I soon realized that a spin-off was not going to happen. The Valiant is destroyed and the entire Red Squadron is killed, except for Collins, Nog and Jake. At the end Nog comments that Watters was a hero and a great man, but a bad Captain.

146 down and 30 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 145 - The Reckoning

"Sisko is called to Bajor when an ancient tablet addressing the Emissary is discovered at B'hala."


I really hate these Emissary episodes. This one involves Sisko smashing a priceless artifact, much to the dismay of Kai Wynn. But he did it because the prophets told him too. It unleashes a spirit...I think... and the spirit takes over Kira in order to prepare for the reckoning (whatever that is). Then it takes over Jake. Evidently this is supposed to happen, so when Kai Wynn basically exorcises the spirit Kira is mad because she ruined everything. Or something.


145 down and 31 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 144 - His Way

"Bashir shows off a new Holosuite program of a martini lounge with the 1960s Vegas singer named Vic Fontaine who is very perceptive; and gives advice to Odo when Kira visits her ex-lover Shakaar."


This episode is completely unwatchable. DS9 had a good run so far. I mean, even the shitty episodes had been watchable. This one however.... Let me just say that not only is the plot annoying (because yet again a nice looking woman is attracted to a hideous monster of a man...seriously this sends the wrong message to all of us male nerds out there), but Vic Fontaine is the worst character of all time. I would rather have Cousin Oliver in this episode. Now this is by far the worst part of this episode, they literally perform three entire songs. Not clips of songs, but three full length songs. It's dreadful.

144 down and 32 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 143 - In the Pale Moonlight

"Sisko asks Garak to help him get the Romulans to join the war against the Dominion."

Very solid episode. So Sisko is very concerned over the war with the Dominion and he wants to get the Romulans to side with the Federation. Him and Garak try to find documentation proving that the Dominion is a threat to the Romulans but they cant find one. Much to Sisko's disapproval they decide to break a top notch forger named Tolar out of a Klingon prison and use him to create fake documents. Tolar is a complete nut case, but he does eventually complete his task.

The Romulan commander easily figures out that it's a fake document. Sisko is now concerned that his plan has back fired and the Romulans will now side with the Dominion. Meanwhile though, Garak kills Tolar to keep him from talking and he also plants a bomb on the Romulan ship (but makes it look like the Dominion did it). This ploy works and the Romulans side with the Federation. Sisko laments that Garak was right, even though it did cost two lives and his own self respect, it could save millions. At the end Sisko erases all of his Captains Logs concerning this situation. Strange how it's so easy to erase official Starfleet logs????

143 down and 33 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 142 - Inquisition

"Bashir is accused of unknowingly spying for the Dominion."

Some guy named Sloan runs Bashir through the ringer trying to test his loyalty to Starfleet. Finally he believes Bashir and reveals that he is actually the head of a secret Starfleet spy rganization named Section 31 and they want to recruite Bashir. Bashir tells him to screw. At the Sisko tells Bashir that Sloan will no doubt come asking again and this time Bashir is to say yes. Then Sisko can have the inside scoop on secret Federation info. Also, this makes Bashir's fantasy of being a spy a reality.

142 down and 34 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 141 - Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night

"When Dukat reveals to Kira her mother, Kira Meru, did not die when she was three, but was actually his lover, Kira goes into the past using the Bajoran Orb of Time to find the truth."

I'm sick of DS9 going back in time and going to alternate universes with such ease. It's just too unbelievable ... as if a giant fucking alien space station orbiting a wormhole is believable ... but you get my point. So even still, the episode was decent. That's what is good about DS9, even the bad episodes are watchable.

So Kira goes back in time to see if the rumor is true, that her mother left her family to become Dukat's lover. She discovers that initially her mom was taken as a sex slave, but she found that life was actually pretty good in this "position" ... get it??? Whatever. Kira now hates her mother and she decides to plant a bomb and kill both her mom and Dukat. But at the last moment she changes her mind and saves them.

141 down and 35 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 140 - Change of Heart

"When Jadzia Dax is critically injured on an away mission, Worf must choose between saving his wife and completing their assignment."

I really hate the entire Dax and Worf thing, but I sort liked this episode. Dax and Worf are sent to smuggle a Dominion defector out of the Badlands. Before they meet up with him they are attacked by the Jem'Hadar and Dax is shot. The mission must be completed so Worf has no choice but to leave her behind. Half way through his journey, he realized "what the hell am I doing!" and turns back to save Dax. Back at DS9 Sisko rips Worf a new one and tells him that never again will he go on a mission with Dax. He also said that in the same situation he would also try to save his wife.

In sad news, I just heard that Leonard Nimoy died today. He always seemed like a decent guy who was always up for a cameo appearance. A legend.

140 down and 36 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 139 - Honor Among Thieves

"Starfleet Intelligence recruits Chief O'Brien to infiltrate the Orion Syndicate to find a Starfleet informant."


What is up with Starfleet sending random people into dangerous situations. They never use security people to do this stuff, it's always an Engineer or Doctor. So in this one O'Brien goes under cover to infiltrate the space mob. Now I have seen a handful of Biographies about FBI undercover agents and actually this one plays out rather realistically. O'Brien slowly gains the trust of the Boss and then they become good "pals". O'Brien uncovers a plot to kill Gowron, which he reports to Starfleet. He also discovers that the mob boss will soon be killed, he actually feels bad for the guy so he reveals everything to him. The mob boss still decides to walk into his own death, but before that he gives Miles his cat to take care of. In the end Miles feels bad about the entire ordeal.

139 down and 37 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 138 - One Little Ship

This may have been a good episode (although I doubt it), it's just that after that last episode everything else seems subpar so to follow it up with a Fantastic Voyage homage is just so disappointing. First of all, there is a space anomaly that has been causing probes to shrink down to miniscule size. So naturally Sisko sends the Runabout into the anomaly with Bashir, O'Brien and Dax aboard...because that makes perfect sense. Obviously they get shrunken. Meanwhile the Jem'Hadar take over the Defiant. Basically the mini Runabout sneaks aboard the Defiant and saves the day. So how does everyone get back to normal size? Well they reenter the anomaly and everything is reversed. Of course. I guess it was a fun episode but I would rather watch Honey I Shrunk the Kids if I wanted some fun shrinkage.

138 down and 38 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 137 - Far Beyond the Stars

Not only does the episode that follows "Who Mourns for Morn?" not suck, it may possibly be the best episode of a TV show ever. The premise is simple and in fact rather standard DS9 faire. Sisko has a vision, goes unconscious and gets thrown into Earths past. Now here is where this episode goes from Science Fiction to something much much more. There was the episode in which Sisko goes back in time to "become" the man that saves Earth from totalitarian take over. Although that episode was full of a lot of deep rooted meaning apart from the Sci-Fi element, it was still heavily "Star Trek". This episode however, turns into 100% not Sci-Fi nor Star Trek.

A great aspect of "Far Beyond the Stars" is that all of the main characters play totally human roles. This allows them to show their range as actors and they are all incredible. It is great to see Michael Dorn and Armin Shimerman not playing hideous monsters.

The premise is that Sisko goes back to 1950's New York. He is trying to make a name for himself as a Sci-Fi writer. He is working for a Sci-Fi Magazine. His stories are loved by everyone in the office but they will not publish it because of the potential backlash of having a black author. Finally they figure out a way to get one of his stories into the magazine, it is approved by the editor (the somewhat closeted racist Mr. Pabst/Odo) and sent off to print. But, the results are incredibly heartbreaking.

There is a scene at the end in which Benjamin finally has had enough with the racism, the oppression and being treated like garbage. He just snaps and has a complete mental breakdown. What a fucking performance by Avery Brooks. I actually got choked up. Which shocked the shit out of me because not only is this Star Trek, but I always assumed I was the least sympathetic person on the planet...evidently this is not true! That is why this episode is so damn good, it nearly got me to cry! So bizarre. Anyway, I suggest everyone watch this episode now, if only for the fantastic acting.

137 down and 39 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 136 - Who Mourns for Morn?

"Morn is killed in an ion storm and Sisko informs Quark that Morn left his entire estate to him. But Quark has a little competition."

What a weird friggin episode. Morn dies leaving everything to Quark. Quark ends up in a Indiana Jones/Amazing Race situation in which him, Morn's Ex-Wife and two of Morn's business associates end up in a scavenger hunt for Morn's hidden retirement fund. They are soon joined another individual who said that he is some kind of private detective. Anyway, Quark and the others end up back at the bar where Odo arrests the two associates, the ex-wife and the P.I. Also.....Morn is still alive! It was all a trap to lore those four people (all of whom are bank robbers) out of hiding so that Odo can arrest them. Sounds dumb? Well it was!

136 down and 40 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 135 - Waltz

This is a significant episode I believe in the upcoming plot arc. Regardless, it was sort of boring. Sisko is transporting Dukat (who is now a war criminal and also insane over his daughters death) to a Federation prison. Their ship is attacked, Dukat saves Sisko and they make it down to a planet. Now marooned together, Sisko notices that Dukat is unstable and hallucinating. They begin to argue and fight each other. Dukat manages to escape in a shuttle and vows to destroy Bajor. The Defiant comes to rescue Sisko. I must say that I never enjoyed the character of Dukat, so I'm not looking forward to these upcoming Sisko vs Dukat episodes. In fact I have not enjoyed one villain in this entire series.

135 down and 41 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 134 - The Magnificent Ferengi

"Quark mounts a rescue mission when his mother, Ishka, is captured by the Dominion and Grand Nagus Zek offers a reward for her return."

Quark leads a crack team of Ferengi "commandos". Mainly Rom, Brunt and a few others. They run simulations of the rescue and it shows very poor results. In general a Ferengi "army" is a bad idea because they are all so self absorbed that working as a team is nearly impossible. Even though they just want to rescue Ishka for the money, they eventually bond together and do a very good job with the rescue. In fact, Quark and Rom seem more happy with saving their mother than receiving any money. It was a rare showing for Ferengi. I enjoyed this episode. Also, fucking Iggy Pop is in it!?!?!

134 down and 42 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 133 - Statistical Probabilities

"Bashir attempts to reintegrate genetically-engineered misfits into society, but they are asked by Starfleet to become a think tank when they provide insightful analysis of upcoming Dominion peace talks."

To say that these people are misfits is an understatement, they are down right insane. They had received the same illegal modifications that Bashir had received as a child but theirs had gone awry. They are still super intelligent, but also complete mental patients. While Bashir works with the wackos, Strafleet decides to use them during the Dominion negotiation. They come up with the surprising conclusion that the Federation will be destroyed if they negotiate. They are contemplating the think tanks conclusion when Bashir discovers that one of the fruitcakes sabotaged the data, the conclusion was wrong. So crisis was averted. The screwballs go back to the nuthouse, but they promise to work on a solution to dealing with the Dominion.

This episode was directed by Anson Williams?!?!?!


133 down and 43 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 132 - Resurrection

"The mirror universe counterpart of Kira's dead love, Vedek Bareil, takes her hostage on Deep Space Nine as he is running from the evil Alliance of his universe."

So mirror universe Vedek goes to real world DS9 to steal the Prophetic Orb and bring to mirror Kira. In the end, he connects with real world Kira and changes his mind.

They need to end this Mirror Universe crap. It was fun for a while but now it is just dumb. It doesn't make sense that everyone can just so easily jump between alternate universes. It seems like this should be an issue of high concern for the Federation. Nobody seems to care. Also, LeVar Burton always does a great job directing Star Trek episodes, but I'm telling you he always ends up with the shittiest scripts.

132 down and 44 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 131 - You Are Cordially Invited...

This is the Worf and Dax get married episode. I still do not get what she sees in him, he is ugly and has no personality...in fact he is violent. Also, I guess Dax is sort of a man??? I don't know. Also, I'm pretty sure that this is the last we see of Alexander. I'm grateful for this because he sucks.

So most of the episode is them going back and forth cancelling the wedding and then saying it's back on. Dax needs to get accepted into the House of Martok but Martok's wife is a huuuuuge bitch. Worf has a bachelor party and consists of him and his friends basically playing Survivor (not the Eye of the Tiger album, but the TV show...just to clarify). Dax has a party also and this one is like a crazy Roman orgy. Like really...I swear they allude to her having a threesome with a Hawaiian Guy and Morn??? Anyway, they get married in the end. That's all.

131 down and 45 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 130 - Sacrifice of Angels

"Sisko commands the Defiant and 600 Federation ships against a Dominion/Cardassian armada to retake Deep Space Nine. Damar has Kira, Jake, and Leeta arrested."

This ends the six episode story arc. It was a well thought out story, lots of moving parts and it was well written. It ends with Sisko and his fleet attacking DS9. Dukat lays a trap, allowing Sisko to get close to the station before he unleashes his Dominion fleet to surround them. Dukat then orders all of the remaining Federation crew on DS9 arrested for treason. Quark gets Dukats daughter to help them escape capture and Odo also assists in their escape. When the Cardassians find out that Dukats daughter helped in the escape, she is killed.

Sisko is wise to the trap but soon is overwhelmed when Dukat finally destroys the minefield. Sisko and his fleet flee into the wormhole where he is visited by The Prophets. They help Sisko destroy the Dominion ships. He can focus on taking back DS9. Dukat tries to fire on Sisko but he can't, it seems that Rom sabotaged the weapons system. The Dominion/Cardassians begin to flee DS9. At the end, everyone is reunited and feels so good.

I hate these episodes that are so good that I can't even think of a good joke.

130 down and 46 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 129 - Favor The Bold

Things are starting to heat up. Sisko makes a plan to take back DS9 but he needs a huge fleet to do it. Worf and Martok go to the Klingon council to appeal for more ships. Meanwhile on DS9, Rom has been accused of treachery by the Dominion and sentenced to death. Kira and Quark work on a plan to warn the Federation that the minefield will soon be destroyed. Jake and Morn manage to sneak a message out of DS9. Odo is confused as to where his loyalty should lie and Dukat's daughter is starting to get wrapped up in ship politics. That's a lot going on!

The end is cool. Sisko arrives at the wormhole with a large fleet of ships (although far less than he hoped). I love the visuals of these large fleets of starships, it always looks very cool.

I liked Rom in this one. He sentenced to die and yet he doesn't really seem to care. Not that he is being brave, more like he is just too depressed to give a crap. It was amusing.

129 down and 47 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 128 - Behind the Lines

I forgot to mention in the last episode that Dukat brings his daughter onboard the ship and he also starts hitting on Kira, which is odd. So anyway. In this one, Dax is sent on a mission to command a ship behond enemy lines and destroy a very powerful Dominion sensor...which she does. Meanwhile on DS9, Kira and the rest are doing their best to get the Dominion and the Cardassians at each others throats. It is working, as the trust between Dukat and Weyoun begins to shatter. But suddenly a new threat appears on the station, that Female Changeling that is always trying to manipulate Odo.

Quark discovers that the Dominion is about to finally destroy the minefield. This is bad, as they could then get much needed supplies. Him and Kira work on thwarting this, but Kira walks in on Odo linking with the other Changeling. This is not good because it seems that Odo may be switching sides. (non of that was in anyway a sexual reference)

128 down and 48 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 127 - Sons and Daughters

Worf is still commissioned on Martok's ship. They pick up a new recruit. Worf's son Alexander. He wants to be a Klingon warrior but he is sort of a buffoon. The other Klingons make fun of him and Worf is embarrassed. He finally proves himself by nearly sacrificing his life to save the ship after it is attacked by Jem'Hadar fighters. Alexander is then accepted into the House of Martok. But really...who gives a shit?

127 down and 49 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 126 - Rock and Shoals

"Sisko and his tired crew crash on a planet where they encounter a band of Jem'Hadar."

Dax is severely injured in the crash. Sisko sends Garak and Nog out on a scouting mission but they are captured by a band of Jem'Hadar who are also trapped on the planet. Their leader is Keevan and he is gravely injured. He offers to exchange the pair for Dr. Bashir, who can give him medical attention. Sisko brings Bashir and he works on Keevan.

Meanwhile, the Jem'Hadar are getting out of control because they do not have their Ketracel White (didn't he play Steve Urkel?). Keevan knows that they need to be stopped and tells Sisko that he must kill all of the Jem'Hadar soldiers. For some reason, Sisko is torn as to whether or not he should kill the soldiers because after all they are all this way because they are drug addicts??? Or something.

Sisko tries to negotiate, but the soldiers are out of it. So the crew kills them all. Also Ensign Gordon is killed, who I didn't even realize was there.

126 down and 50 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 125 - A Time To Stand

Basically, now begins a giant Dominion story arc that is sometimes pretty cool and sometimes boring as shit...

Now it is a few months into the war and the Dominion still run DS9. Jake is functioning as a reporter on the station, Kira is doing something I guess, Quark is running the bar and Odo has used his pull as a Founder to become security chief. DS9 is running rather smoothly actually.

Sisko and his small crew of O'Brien, Dax, Nog Bashir and Garak have been commisoned by the Federation to take a captured Jem'Hadar ship into enemy space and destroy a supply of Ketracel White (remember, that drug being used to mind control the Jem'hadar). So, they are accidently attacked by a Starfleet ship, but manage to escape and complete the mission. The engines are heavily damaged and calculations show that it will take them 17 years to get back to base.

Meanwhile, Weyoun is trying to convince Dukat that they need to dismantle the minefield in order to get supplies back to DS9.

125 down and 51 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 124 - Call to Arms

Sisko is ordered to prevent the Dominion forces from reinforcing Cardassia. Rom comes up with the idea to block the wormhole with mines. As they deploy the mines, Weyoun tells Sisko that if they block the wormhole than DS9 will be attacked. Sisko continues and then he evacuates civilians off of the station. Kira, Odo, Morn (the bar patron frequently seen drinking...also Morn is a homage to Norm from Cheers), and Jake (functioning again as a war reporter).

Soon the station is overrun and the Cardassian/Dominion take control, with Gul Dukat regaining his old office back. However, while they were busy fighting with DS9 Siso and Martok managed to sneak attack and destroy 50 off the Dominion ships.

O'Brien and the others suggest that Sisko go back to save Jake but he says no, Jake is a man now. The episode ends with the Defiant meeting up with a huge fleet of Starfleet ships and Klingon warships. I enjoyed this one. I like seeing bad-ass Sisko and the visuals in this episode where excellent. So ends season Five.

124 down and 52 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 123 - In The Cards

"Jake wants to give his father a present to cheer him up, a 1951 Willie Mays baseball card, but runs into complications with a mysterious geneticist, Dr. Giger and a Dominion ambassador group."

The plot seems stupid, but the episode was not too bad. The thing is, how crazy rare this 1951 baseball card must be. No way many would survive into the future. Especially since in the Star Trek universe, Earth has gone through a ton of turmoil to get to this point. But, whatever.

So Dr. Giger offers to trade the card to Jake and Nog if they bring him a list of obscure items from DS9. He needs to the crap to work on his "Cellular Rejuvenation and Entertainment Machine". His theory is that cells get bored and that's why you die. If you stimulate the cells than you can be immortal.

Meanwhile Kai Wynn is on the station trying to work out an alignment with the Dominion (headed by Weyoun). When Dr. Giger disappears, Nog and Jake become suspicious of Kai...for some reason. Also, Weyoun becomes suspicious that everyone is plotting against him...Kai, Giger, Jake, Nog... He then confronts Nog and Jake who are scared out of their minds. Then he confront Giger who seems confused.

Then seemingly out of nowhere everyone figures he each other and becomes friends. Or something. I have no idea. It just ends really strangely.

123 down and 53 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 122 - Empok Nor

"O'Brien, Garak, Nog and an engineering team go to Deep Space Nine's abandoned sister space station, Empok Nor, to salvage components. The away team soon discover that all is not as it seems."

While on Empok Nor they are confronted by a handful of crazed Cardassian soldiers. They are rather easily killed with the help of Garak. But, soon Garak starts getting crazed himself. He acts paranoid and starts getting super aggressive. Evidently there is some sort of Cardassian super-drug in the environment that causes Cardassians to become sort of alpha-male-ish. Garak eventually kills one of the Starfleet engineering team members and then takes Nog hostage. O'Brien overloads a phaser and causes it to explode next to Garak knocking him out cold.

They are make it back to DS9 and Garak is treated. O'Brien tells him that there will be a hearing, but that he will be fine because he was not in control. This happens a lot in Star Trek. An officer gets "influenced" somehow and kills a person, but they are never held accountable. Seems crappy.

122 down and 54 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 121 - Blaze of Glory

Sisko interrupts a message about a Maquis invasion of Cardassia using cloaked missiles. Sisko goes to Eddington to find  out the hidden location of these missiles. Eddington takes Sisko to a planet where he discovers that it was all a trick to help Eddington get back to his wife. Unfortunately, his fake message also caught the attention of the Jem'Hadar who are now attacking. Eddington and Sisko fight them off and save the small group of Maquis, but Eddington ends up getting killed in the process. As much as I did not like the portrayal of Eddington, I did enjoy the character itself and it was disappointing to see him killed off in such a lame way.

121 down and 55 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 120 - Children of Time

"An accident causes the crew to meet their own descendants - and presents them with an ethical dilemma."

I rather enjoyed this episode. It was a good premise. The Defiant, with a full crew, gets trapped in a quantum bubble around a planet. They make their way down to the surface and discover that they have gone back in time two centuries. They end up meeting their own decedents. When the ship first got trapped they decided to start a new colony, so they all had kids and stuff. The only thing that is different is that Kira died soon after they initially landed.

They face a dilemma. Should they fix the past, but cause their descendants to no longer exist or should they stay trapped. They surprisingly decide to stay trapped. But, Odo is unwilling to allow Kira to be dead so he makes so he changes the past. They make it back to reality, but all of their descendants cease to exist.

120 down and 56 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 119 - Soldiers of the Empire

"Martok, Worf, and Dax go on a mission aboard a Klingon ship to search for the B'moth."

Yes, another Klingon honor episode. The Klingons on this ship are very depressed and have low morale. The only one with any balls is Dax. And I'm still confused about her, so maybe she really does. Martok needs to take the ship into Cardassian space but he is scared. Worf challenges and this forces Martok to once again be a leader. Worf is then accepted into the House of Martok.

119 down and 57 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 118 - Ferengi Love Songs

"At the end of his rope, Quark returns home and discovers Moogie has a secret lover.

These Quark home life episodes remind me of the Ewoks Christmas Special. A wonderful train wreck. I like the Moogie character, she is just so gross looking but has good spirit. Sort of like if Clint Howard was a woman.

So Quark returns home to find the Grand Nagus hiding in his closet. This is because Nagus has been dating Quark's mother. At first Quark thinks this a good thing for his business standing, but soon he is offered a better deal from a Ferengi named Brunt. He will make Quark rich if he breaks up the Nagus and Moogie. So of course, Quark does it. Moogie is very upset and soon Quark begins to see a big decline in the Ferengi power structure. This is because the Grand Nagus is old and senile and he has become a terrible businessman. It appears that Quarks mother has been the "woman behind the curtain", essentially running the Ferengi government. In the end Quark gets them back together. OK, so maybe the episode was stupid.

In one scene Quark complains that he can't get the Grand Nagus' attention. Moogie asks if he has tried rubbing his lobes. Isn't that essentially jerking him of???

118 down and 58 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 117 - Ties of Blood and Water

"Tekeny Ghemor arrives on Deep Space Nine and reveals that he is dying."

Remember the episode in which Kira was supposed to be a genetically modified Cardassian spy? And, this guy Ghmemor thought that she was his Cardassian daughter? This is that guy. So he is dying and he wishes to confess all of his secrets to his only "family member" left, Kira. Dukat tries to prevent him from divulging Cardassian secrets to a Bajoran but to no avail. Kira accepts Ghemor as family and buries his body next to her real father. I actually liked this dynamic between "enemies" that become "family".

117 down and 59 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 116 - Business as Usual

"Despondent over his mounting financial woes, Quark allows his Cousin Gaila to talk him into joining the arms sales business."


Quark ends up wrapped up in a dangerous arms business. Gaila is selling arms to both sides in a conflict. Quark struggles with the moral aspects of this coupled with his need to pay off debt. He finds a way out but not before a firefight ensues on DS9. Sisko makes Quark pay for damages, adding even more to his debt problem.

The side plot is about how Quark was losing his friends due to his involvement in arms dealing, particularly Dax. Ok...so when did Quark get friends? Especially Dax?

116 down and 60 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 115 - A Simple Investigation

"Odo falls in love with a woman, Arissa, involved in the Orion Syndicate."

Arissa arrives on DS9 and starts acting suspicious. Odo begins to investigate her and finds out that she is an agent for a crime organization. She tells Odo that she wants to leave the Orion Syndicate and Odo agrees to help her. They begin to fall for each other and they eventually make sweet passionate banging.

Further investigation reveals that Arissa has had her memory removed by the Syndicate in order to control her. Arissa wants her normal life back so Odo helps to retrieve her memories. She realizes that she is a married woman with a family and that Odo and her can never be together. Poor Odo. He has worse luck with woman than Geordi LaForge. Also, the lady that played Arissa was in the movie Rock 'n Roll High School.

115 down and 61 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 114 - Doctor Bashir, I Presume?

"Julian Bashir is selected to become the model for a Long-term Medical Hologram, until a family secret is revealed."


The Doctor from Voyager shows up and want to use Bashir as a Medical Hologram template. Then Bashir's parents show up. There is much tension between Bashir and his father. It seems that as a child Julian was a moron, until his dad illegally genetically altered him. This info gets out and Julian figures he must resign because he is essentially a criminal. In the end his father offers himself up to Starfleet and will go to prison instead of Julien. Or something like that.

The side plot is thus: Dr. Zimmerman starts hitting on Leeta and they go out a few times. Rom is of course going out of his mind, but he is also an idiot and can't just tell Leeta how he feels. It takes all episode but he finally lets her know and she leaves Zimmerman for Rom. ....I still don't get it.

114 down and 62 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 113 - By Inferno's Light Pt. 2

"Gul Dukat aligns the Cardassians with the Dominion. The station must deal with a Changeling infiltrator."

This was an incredibly action packed episode. That jammed a ton of plot into 48 minutes. Maybe too much plot. So Worf and Garak are still in prison and Worf is made to fight an endless line of Jem'Hadar warriors...for some reason. The Cardassian forces have allied with the Dominion. As the exit the wormhole they end up in a fight with DS9, The Defiant and Gul Dukat piloting a Bird of Prey. But, Dukat was only playing Sisko, he is in on the Cardassian plot.

The battle lines are now drawn. Cardassian/Dominion (Jem'Hadar/Founders) versus Starfleet/Klingon/Bajoran/Romulan. As the battle wages on; Worf and Garak escape the prison and Changeling Bashir tries to send a bomb into the sun killing everyone. Real Bashir sends a message to DS9 and they are able to stop fake Bashir. In the process they discover that the Cardassian fleet was real but the Dominion force was only smoke and mirrors. Which is a disappointing ending. I assume Cardassia has really aligned with the Dominion.

113 down and 63 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 112 - In Purgatory's Shadow Pt. 1

"Worf and Garak journey to the Gamma Quadrant to investigate a coded Cardassian message."


This coded message is a distress call from one of Garak's old mentors. Garak and Worf travel far into the Nebula to investigate and they argue the entire time. They are really a terrible pairing and to be honest I don't enjoy having them together as the main focus of an episode. Eventually they discover something shocking, I giant Dominion fleet assembling to attack the Alpha Quadrant. Suddenly Jem'Hadar soldiers appear and take the two prisoner. Worf manages to send a coded signal back to DS9 and Sisko dispatches Kira to find Garak and Worf. She is unable to save them and returns to DS9 with news of the coming invasion.

Sisko decides to give Worf and Garak 36 hours to get home before he seals the wormhole and stops the Dominion invasion. This is a tough decision that Sisko seems to make without blinking.

Meanwhile in prison. Worf and Garak find the mentor, but he is dying, so the two begin to try an escape. Oh but first there is an excellent twist. They descover another prisoner....Bashir! It seems that for the past bunch of episodes the Dr. Bashir on DS9 has been a Changeling!! With the 36 hours now up, Sisko fires into the wormhole, but it doesn't close. The episode ends as Jem'Hadar warships start pouring through the wormhole...

112 down and 64 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 111 - For The Uniform

"Michael Eddington returns and Sisko becomes obsessed with catching him."


I like the idea of a rogue Starship Captain as the villain. In fact, I would have liked this plot much more than the Changeling stuff. But, I just don't enjoy Eddington as a character. Maybe it's just the way he is played by Ken Marshall. I don't know. He is just very hokey.

The cat and mouse game between Sisko and Eddington in this episode was enjoyable. Sisko seemed thwarted at every turn. Eddington is getting rather brazen too, he has been attacking Cardassian colonies with this crazy biogenic weapon that poisons the atmosphere. Sisko figures out that Eddington sees himself as the hero so he decides to play the villain. Sisko makes public his plan to poison the Maquis atmosphere and kill them all. This causes Eddington to surrender. It was a cool ploy by Benjamin.

111 down and 65 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 110 - The Begotten

Odo buys a Changling baby from Quark. Which right of the bat is just weird. He tries to teach it to shapeshift. Odo's former mentor Dr. Mora shows up and tries to take over. They argue over how to raise the baby. But soon the little Changeling starts to die and Odo must give it up to Mora. Odo knew the Doctor was right all along but was resentful of his former "father". In the end they hug it out.

Kira is also finally having the O'Brien baby. So it's an all baby episode. And it sucks.

110 down and 66 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 109 - The Darkness and the Light

"Someone is killing Kira's friends off and she might be next."

As expected everyone is trying to protect Kira, especially Miles (as his unborn baby is inside her). But, Kira only wants revenge and goes on a mission to hunt this killer down. How she manages to slip by nearly everyone on the station is beyond me...seeing how they are all supposed to be watching her. Good job Odo, you dumb human.

She eventually confronts this assassin (and gets captured in the process). He was disfigured in a Bajoran bombing and now seeks revenge. Yeah...that's the plot. Also, he was not even a soldier, he was like a dry cleaner or something. Then he tries to cut out Kira's baby. The plot really falls apart at the end there.

At least the lady that played Simone from Pee Wee's Big Adventure was in this episode. She was cute.

109 down and 67 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 108 - Rapture

"An accident causes Sisko to have prophetic visions."

While I did enjoy this episode, the plot was a little forced. Sisko sees a painting of a lost Bajoran city and then becomes obsessed with finding it..(OK, but why??). He Finds an obelisk that supposedly leads the way to the city, he go nuts trying to figure out it's meaning...(yes, but again, why??). Then the holodeck malfunctions and knocks Sisko out. He starts having prophetic visions (how convenient...and also why is stuff always malfunctioning on DS9?). His visions bring him closer to the truth, but his headaches are getting bad and Bashir tells him that he will die without surgery. Sisko refuses, he wants the visions to reveal the truth to him (since when does he even care about this stuff?). Jake is forced to decide for him and Bashir operates. The visions end. But not before Sisko warns that if Bajor joins the Federation than all hell will breaks loose.

108 down and 68 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 107 - The Ascent

I enjoyed this one. Odo is transporting Quark to a hearing, when their runabout crash lands on a desolate frozen planet. Their rations and equipment are destroyed. They decide to take the remnants of a transmitter and bring it to the top of a mountain in order to send a distress signal. They argue the entire way, and even get into a fight. Initially they think that it will take a few hours, but it ends up being days. To make matters worse Odo breaks his leg. Quark leaves Odo behind to continue up the mountain. They are both very near death and Odo begins to record his last will and testament. Suddenly he is beamed to sick bay. Quark was able to send the signal after all.

107 down and 69 to go

Star Trek DS9 Episode 106 - Things Past

"Sisko, Odo, Dax and Garak are found unconscious. While Bashir attempts to revive their bodies, the four wake up during the Cardassian occupation of Bajor several years earlier."

They actually all share a telekinetic memory, they don't actually go back in time. But what is revealed during this experience is that Odo allowed three innocent Bajorans to be executed. Seven years earlier on DS9 an assassination attempt was made on Gul Dukat and Odo arrested these three Bajorans. He didn't do much investigating and had them put to death...then he found out that they were innocent. They should have had this memory go even further back to when Odo, Benson and the Governor go to Hong Kong and Odo gets kidnapped by a fashion designer. I can't believe it took me 106 episodes to make a Benson joke.

106 down and 70 to go