Star Trek TNG: Episode 144 - Birthright Pt. 2

So Worf finds a whole bunch of Klingon prisoners, but he finds out that his father did in deed die in battle. The Romulans give Worf the choice of being executed or live as a captive. He chooses death. But before he is executed all of the other Klingons stand with him in unity and request to be killed as well. The Romulans finally decide to let everyone go free.

What??? Non of this makes sense. The Romulans would just kill them all, since when do they give a crap? This entire plot was just pointless.

143 down 36 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 143 - Birthright Pt. 1

The Enterprise docks at Deep Space 9 and Data works on a project with Julian Bashir. Pretty cool right? Well it is. Data accidently gets hit with some energy beam and has a dream-like vision of his father. He then starts creating various painting regarding this vision. This plot was fascinating. I love how Data seems to become more human throughout the years.

Sadly this episode is ruined by yet another shitty Worf plot. Don't get me wrong, I like Worf ... as a secondary character ... but NEVER as the main man. In this one he hears a rumor that his father survived Khitomer and is a captor of the Romulans. So Worf travels to a Romulan prison planet and of course gets captured ....

142 down 37 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 142 - Tapestry

This episode is basically "A Christmas Carol" or "Time Machine" or both or neither...I really don't know.  Picard "dies", Q takes him back in time where Picard wants to make amends with his youth. He realizes that he was a giant a-hole, so this time around he tries being a nice guy. Interestingly enough, this ends up ruining his future and he never becomes Captain of the Enterprise. So the message here is....always be a prick.

Ridiculous plot ... great episode.

141 down 38 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 141 - Face of the Enemy

This episode was entertaining, but it was also complete asinine. Troi wakes to discover that she has been surgically turned into a Romulan. She has also been secretly recruited into an undercover Romulan mission per Spock.

A. Why would Starfleet agree to send a therapist on an extremely dangerous secret mission.
B. Was this insanely complicated plan really necessary?
C. Why did the episode mention Spock numerous times, yet never show him. It's fucking annoying.

Scott MacDonald is in this episode, he also stars in one of the greatest horror films ever ... Jack Frost. Check out this classic clip http://youtu.be/sg8Rm0ajj_0

140 down 39 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 140 - Aquiel

Geordi falls in love with a woman...who is charged with murder. Again, I really really wanted this to work out for Geordi. He does eventually prove her innocence and it seems like he sleeps with her, but in the end she leaves him....even though she is offered the opportunity to stay! So after all of that LaForge still ends up losing out, once again.

139 down 40 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 139 - Ship in a Bottle

This marks the return of the rogue holodeck character Professor Moriarty, played wonderfully by Mr. Sheffield's butler. Also in this episode is the sexy cougar Stephanie Beacham.

If we remember from the last Sherlock themed episode, Moriarty is built so well that he is nearly human. In fact, Picard promises to figure out a way to get him out of the holodeck and into reality..although he was bullshitting. Now Moriarty ain't fuckin around, he wants out. He hijaks the ship by sort of turning it into a giant holodeck.

The Professor really isn't a bad guy actually, he has a love interest and is generally a decent person. Odd, considering he is supposed to be rather maniacal as a Holmes villain. Anyway, there is a happy ending ... and then after Picard gets out of the Asian massage parlor he figures out a way to give Moriarty what he wants. He puts him and his girl into a cube sized holodeck where they can live happily ever after. Or whatever.

138 down 41 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 138 - Chain of Command 2

While part one of "Chain of Command" was a drag, part two was pretty damn great ... for two reasons: Captain Jelico and Picard being tortured. Jelico (played brilliantly by Ronny Cox) was the biggest asshole, mentally unstable, self serving Captain to ever exist in Starfleet ... and he is awesome. I want a spin-off. He is basically Kirk mixed with Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest. Jelico is very cocky, a cocksmith and will not fall for a cock-n-bull story....that's all I got.

Now to Picard being tortured. He is put through all awesome kinds of physical, emotional and sensory tortures. I mean, it was so brutal that it would make Marquis DeSade cream his pantaloons. There is this one scene in which they try to control Picard's mind by showing him 4 green lights and torture him into saying that there are five green lights....just amazing stuff.

137 down 42 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 137 - Chain of Command I

Chain of Command is a two-parter, that really should have been one episode. Not that I didn't enjoy it, because I very much did ... I'm just saying. Part one was very blah and it could have been summed up very quickly and incorporated into part two. Basically, Picard gets sent on a secret mission to destroy a Cardassian biological weapon. He brings along Worf and .... Crusher?? Personally, I would bring Data on EVERY away mission and bring Crusher on ZERO. Anyway, since Picard is gone they bring in another Captain to take over. Why not Riker you ask? I have no fucking idea.

136 down 43 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 136 - Quality of Life

This episode is about these little machines called Exocomps, they are sort of little mechanical repairmen. The question is weather they are sentient or machine. Not a bad episode, decent idea....but it is highly forgettable. If only Data had a handlebar mustache in this one.

135 down 44 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 135 - A Fistful of Datas

... so here is the Western episode where every character is Data! Who knew it was right after Rascals. What a terrible one two punch. Although I must say, I almost enjoyed this one. I typically like anything Old West, so this was at least tolerable ... and Data always cracks me up. Especially at the end when he is dressed like an old west "dancer"....prostitute.  For the most part an episode in which Worf and Alexander are cowboys is just plain dumb. Oh yes and this episode also begins the "beard growing" story arc. Ha Ha what the hell is going on in season six!?!

134 down 45 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 134 - Rascals

What a piece of shit. Do to some kind of fuck up with the transporter Picard, Guinan, Ro and Keiko turn into 12 year olds. ....seriously? How would this even happen??

The oddest scene is when a 12 year old Keiko questions Miles about the state of their marriage. He is kind of like, listen ... it's probably over. She seems a little annoyed by this. What the fuck is he supposed to say?!?!

Anyway, this is the worst group of child actors that I have ever seen!! They suck.

133 down 46 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 133 - True Q

"a young woman coming aboard evidences non-human abilities and is investigated by Q, who claims she is also a Q."

You nearly forget the Q is supposed to be the Villain. The problem is that "Q" is so quirky that he seems more like the comic relief. This episode sort of puts how brutal the Q Continuum is. Amanda, who is played by the cute as all hell Olivia d'Abo, is a Q/human  ... "Q" has been sent by the Continuum to kill her for being a hybrid.

132 down 47 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 132 - Schisms

What an interesting concept. Members of the Enterprise are being abducted by and tested on by aliens. I am surprised this has never come up before, at least in the traditional "alien abduction scenario" sense. It seems plausible that aliens would abduct humans off of space ships ... I mean they already abduct housewives from Midwestern farmhouses.

My favorite scene is when Data is reciting an original poem about his cat Spot and Riker keeps nodding off. It was very funny. Although I originally thought he was saying Spock. I was like "what an odd poem about Spock".

Whatever.

131 down 48 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 131 - Relics

"The Enterprise investigates a vessel that crashed on the surface of a Dyson sphere 75 years ago."

The Dyson Sphere is actually a real theory. It is basically the idea that a giant sphere could be built around a star and all of it's planets, in order to better harness it's energy. Evidently it can also pivot on a ball and never loses suction ... a little vacuum cleaner humor for you. This is the stupidest and most impractical thing that I have ever heard, in fact even Freeman Dyson himself said it's stupid.

Of course, what makes this episode great is the appearance of Scotty. James Doohan seemed to have some trouble with his delivery, but nonetheless I love these throwback episodes. I always felt bad for Scotty too, he didn't seem to fit in with the original crew. Then in the movies, while everyone else just looked like slightly older versions of their show counterparts ... Scotty comes out looking like Mr. Belvedere.

I felt bad for James Doohan too, he put up with a lot of tough shit in his life, crappy childhood, typecast, divorces, sickness, raped in prison. I have read his autobiography and he was an interesting guy. For instance, he took part in the invasion of Normandy where he was shot six times ... beat that LaForge!

130 down 49 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 130 - Man of the People

"A psychic ambassador uses Deanna's mind to influence the outcome of his mission."

This ambassador essentially transfers his negativity into Deanna in order to have a clear mind for his negotiations. Deanna starts to become agitated and rapidly age. It's an interesting idea but it was a great episode.

When I saw George Wallace was in this episode I was expecting the great black comedian, or even the great racist Alabama governor ... but no, it was some dude that I never seen before.

129 down 50 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 129 - Realm of Fear

"Barclay must overcome his fear of the transporter to solve a mystery."

How the hell did Barclay make it through Starfleet Academy. He is such a pussy.

After watching Hell on Wheels I just can't look at Miles O'Brien the same way ever again.

128 down 51 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 128 - Time's Arrow pt.2

Now for the conclusion to Time's Arrow.

I actually didn't like part two nearly as much part one. It was ok. The crew conveniently finds a portal that takes them back and forth to exactly 1893 (convenient), Picard gets trapped in the past, Mark Twain saves the day and Picard saves Earth by simply disabling the alien time portal.

Also, by the end of this episode I ended up hating Mark Twain. I would burn his books if I actually owned any of them.

127 down 52 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 127 - Time's Arrow pt.1

"A 500 year old artifact is uncovered on Earth, Data's severed penis. The Enterprise investigates alien involvement in Earth's past and Data fulfills his destiny."

Only Star Trek can follow up a Hugo Award winning episode with this gem. I love this episode/episodes. Data goes back to the 19th c and meets Jack London and Guinan hangs out with Mark Twain. It's not nearly as dumb as it sounds, in fact ... it's pretty awesome.

In preparation for this episode I read Call of the Wild by Jack London, just because I realized that I never read shit by this guy.  ...... it was good.

This is my favorite quote from the book:

"Like a true natures child, we're the Call, Call of the Wild, we can fly so high, never want to die. Call .. of the .. Wi,iiild"

So ends season 5, it was probably the best season of TNG thus far.

126 down 53 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 126- The Inner Light

"A space probe creates a telepathic tether and causes Picard to experience, in twenty-five minutes, a lifetime as a married man on a world that was destroyed a millennium ago. "

I'm sure this episode was fine, I just wasn't feeling it. The acting was great and the idea is interesting ... it was just not that entertaining. It did win the Hugo Award, the last Trek episode to do this was City on The Edge of Forever. .....City on the Edge, this episode is not.

125 down 54 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 125 - The Next Phase

While trying to create a modified cloaking device, the Romulans accidently turn Ro and LaForge invisible. The first half of this episode suuuuucks. Its just Ro saying goodbye to everybody, but then it picks up a bit and becomes pretty darn decent. Everybody on the ship thinks that the two are dead, but they rematerialize during their funeral...New Orleans style ... which only means one thing .... Riker playing a trombone.

Why would he know how to play a fucking trombone? Nobody plays the damn thing now, nevermind in a few hundred years.

124 down 55 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 124 - I, Borg

Try watching this episode and NOT want to kill Beverley Crusher. That being said, this was an awesome episode. After discovering an injured Borg, Crusher convinces Picard to allow her to treat him. Picard comes up with a plan to "infect" this Borg and send him back to destroy the hive.

The Borg suddenly starts to develop individuality, he even ends up with a name ... Hugh. So there is a big debate on weather it is wrong for Picard to sacrifice Hugh. Honestly though, Picard was correct in this one ... this was their best shot at defeating the Borg.

Anyway, the dude that plays Hugh is on the show The Closer and he is really good.

123 down 56 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 123 - Imaginary Friend

As the title suggests, this episode is about an imaginary friend. The ship is exploring a rare nebula when a little girl on the ship suddenly "creates" an imaginary friend. This friend ends up being real and can't stand adults ... a la Drop Dead Fred. That's basically it. The little girl in the episode was August from 3rd Rock From The Sun, Tommy's girlfriend. I always thought she was soooo friggin hot .... in 3rd Rock not so much in TNG.

122 down 57 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 122 - The Perfect Mate

"Picard forces himself to resist the charms of a female empathic metamorph who is sent to marry an alien leader as a peace offering." This episode was confusing ... or boring. I don't know. But it does have Famke Janssen in it, who is actually hotter now than she was in the early 90s. Check her out on Hemlock Grove. Anyway, Picard has to resist banging her ... which is so highly unlikely that this episode seems to unrealistic. Maybe Picard can't get a boner. Plus, she would not be the perfect mate because she is too high maintenance. The perfect mate would be a cute blind mute.

121 down 58 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 121 - Cost of Living

What a piece of shit this one is. A Lwaxana and Alexander based episode, what a fucking nightmare. The episode is based around Worf's troubles raising his son and Ms. Troi getting married. .... It is interesting that Lwaxana meets her husband over a matchmaking system on the computer, rather foreshadowing for 1992. I was expecting that creepy old bag of bones from the Matchmaker.com commercials to come popping out of a turbolift. Anyway, the episode ends with Worf, Alexander and Lwaxana taking a mudbath???? ..... you can only see Worfs eyes and teeth

120 down 59 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 120 - The First Duty

hehe The First Duty.

"Wesley is questioned over a Starfleet Academy flight training accident."

When one of his crew members is killed during training Wesley must choose between the truth and protecting his ass. Typically Wesley sucks, but this is episode was actually very good. I liked how Wesley didn't pussy out and tell the truth ...  nor did he lie. He just omitted certain info.

119 down 60 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 119 - Cause and Effect

"The Enterprise is severely damaged. The ship explodes, killing the entire crew."

If only that was it and the series was over. But alas, this episode is a rip off of Groundhog's Day with Bill Murray ... except this one has Kelsey Grammar in it. Honestly though, I really really enjoyed this one. It was fun and clever. I must say that I am getting tired of the crew constantly playing poker, in the future I guarantee Poker will not exist. It will be like people playing Jacks now, it just doesn't happen.

118 down 61 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 118 - The Outcast

"Riker falls in love with an androgynous person after rescuing some others trapped in "null space."

This was a great episode, it had solid acting by Frakes and Melinda Culea as well as a very interesting plot. Riker falls in love with a man/women ... or neither?? I actually have no idea what an androgynous person is. Although this episode was a sort of brave, attempt at bringing attention to LGBT issues and all, it does strike out in many ways. For one, I'm pretty sure Melinda Culea was a model at one time, so trying to play her off as a sexless Soren is just dumb ... obviously a female. The did try to make her look like Marcy Darcy but I for one have always been attracted to Marcy so yet again, fail. AND we find out that even though her race is androgynous, she is in fact female. So basically Riker falls in love with a female and this female falls for a man. Hardly groundbreaking stuff right there. The climax of the episode (rapidly raising and lowering eyebrows) is in the end (rapidly raising and lowering eyebrows) when this race finds out that Soren considers herself a woman, they send her to get some sort of lobotomy or something. An excellent scene is when Soren is in front of court and gives a speech about human rights ... and her right to be straight?? I guess. Anyway Riker risks his career to save her but it's too late, she has been "fixed". If I remember correctly, at this point Riker smothers her with a pillow and then tosses a gigantic sink through a window.

117 down 62 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 117 - Ethics

What a weird ass episode. Worf gets paralyzed, asks Riker to assist in his suicide, then has a heart attack, then is brain dead ... and then pretty much back to normal by the end of the day. WTF? It wasn't a terrible episode, just sort of weird. The episode ends with Worf learning how to walk, ... I bet that by episode 118 he's doing the fucking electric slide.

116 down 63 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 116 - Power Play

"Troi, O'Brien, and Data are possessed by entities who want control of the ship."

All this starts out with a good old fashion malfunction of those piece of shit shuttlecrafts. These things suck. Troi, O'Brien and Data crash on a planet and end up in a remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This episode sucks.

115 down 64 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 115 - Conundrum

The premise of this one is that an alien plans to take over the Enterprise by erasing everyone's memory on board. It seems like it would work, except for one thing ... the alien SUCKS at erasing memories. The crew seems to remember who they are and how to run the ship ... the only thing that they forget is what rank they are.

So the crew needs to figure this mild annoyance out and get on their merry way. All of the major  crew members are there; Picard, Worf, Troi, Riker, Data (who thinks he is a waiter??), Ro, Crusher, LaForge and um ... MacDuff??  Well, guess who the fucking alien was the entire time.

114 down 65 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 114 - The Masterpiece Society

"The Enterprise helps a far-flung eugenic human colony avoid destruction but upsets its delicate balance by ending 200 years of isolation"

This colony is comprised of "perfect" people, they have zero flaws. In fact, if someone is born with a flaw they eliminate them. The Enterprise discovers that this planet is in danger from a projectile and Picard persuades them to begin evacuation. Soon everyone starts to see how sheltered they really are. Key issue being Geordi's VISOR. They are enthralled by it's capabilities and soon they realize that in their society something like this would have never been created. blah blah blah whatever. So basically nearly everybody decides to leave this "perfect" colony because they see how much it sucks.

And, of course, Troi has a romantic encounter with some guy. So as Donald pointed out, they have no idea what to do with the Deanna Troi character.

This episodes was good. I like how by "saving" the colony from destruction, Picard actually ends up "destroying" the colony just by issuing contact.

113 down 66 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 113 - Violations

Strange episode, but I enjoyed it. Sort of. Not really. Maybe a little bit. I'm just miserable. The premise is that, this alien race can recall people's lost memories. So this one guy takes advantage of that and starts manipulating the memories of the Enterprise crew. Once he does this, the "host" goes into a coma. Long story short, he rapes Deanna Troi.

112 down 67 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 112 - Hero Worship

"Data saves the life of an orphaned boy who begins to emulate him."

Don't we all want to be Data? Wouldn't a race of Data's be the perfect society? I think so. No emotions, brilliant, rational....yet for some reason fully functional. While it's always fun to delve into the life of Data, I found this episode a bit boring. This kid was a giant pussy.

111 down 68 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 111 - New Ground

"Worf tries to be a father to his son, Alexander, while the Enterprise helps to test a new propulsion technology. "

Here's the thing. I hate Alexander. Worst character ever. This episode sucks. Brian Bonsall was a cute kid as Andy from Family Ties but his looks really hit the wall. Worf is a such a big Klingon phony, he acts like he is so into being a Klingon ... you were raised by humans dude, give it a fucking rest.

110 down 69 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 110 - A Matter of Time

"An apparent historian from the 26th century visits the Enterprise while they help a planet prevent a nuclear winter"

So here's the thing. This guy is not actually a historian from the future but a thief from the past who happened to steal the time machine from a historian from the future so now he has used the future historians time machine to go from the past to the future in order to steal artifacts from the Enterprise and bring them back to the past so he can reverse engineer them and become rich in the future. Sound kind of stupid? It is. At least it had Max Headroom in it.

109 down 70 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 109 - Unification II

Spock is on a mission of "cowboy diplomacy" to reunify Vulcan and Romulus. There are a good amount of Romulans that are working towards this goal as well, but there are others that are bent on destroying Vulcan ... Denise Crosby I'm looking at you. Spock, Data and Picard try to thwart these plans.

Meanwhile Riker and crew are tracking down the disappearance of old Vulcan ships. They discover that Ferengi's have sold them to Romulans. So basically the plot is all coming together. In conclusion, just watch this shit. It's good. Nimoy is awesome. Also, It has the greatest ending scene in all of TNG. Spock mind melds with Picard to catch a glimpse of Sarek revealing his love for Spock. Fan-fucking-tastic

108 down 71 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 108 - Unification I

I wish I wasn't such an idiot. Unification deserves to be reviewed correctly and I just can't do it. These episodes are just that good. They could have made a movie out of this two-parter, no question about it. Great plot, great acting, great effects.

Ambassador Spock is missing. Picard goes to see Sarek (who is in the process of dying). Sarek suggests that Spock is on Romulus. Just before Sarek dies, he tells Picard that he loves his son. So, Piacrd and Data head to Romulus disguised as Romulans. They are onboard a cloaked Klingon ship in order to sneak through the neutral zone. Would any of this actually work? I doubt it. But who cares.

Of course once on Romulus Picard and Data are easily detected. Why? Well because one of them is a fucking robot and the other has a British accent. They are taken to a cave where they discover .... Spock.

So in the beginning credits it said that Stephen Root was in this episode. So I paid close attention to see if I could find him. And I couldn't. I figured he would play the same crazy Texan that he always plays, Jimmy James, Bill from King of the Hill etc. I had to look it up when the episode ended, and come to find out that he played the Klingon Commander! .... and a damn good one too. This had to be his greatest role ever. Bravo Stephen Root.

107 down 72 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 107 - The Game

I guess you would consider this a "cute" episode. Wesley returns from the Academy only to find everybody getting high from a video game. Only him and his love interest Robin are unaffected, they must find a way to make everything back to normal. This Robin girl is sooooo friggin cute. I could not stop staring at her like a total creep. No wonder, it's a young Ashley Judd. This episode was stupid, but I liked it.

106 down 74 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 106 - Disaster

This was a great episode. Well constructed and well acted. Basically, The Enterprise loses power and everyone is trapped in different locations, completely cut off from each other. The genius behind this episode is that everyone is paired off in very unlikely combinations. Picard is trapped in a turbo-lift with three young children and as always Jean-Luc is completely out of his element around kids. Troi, Miles O'Brien and Ro end up on the bridge, with Troi being in command. Riker and Data are in the Jefferies Tube. Crusher and LaForge are in the cargo bay and meanwhile in Ten Forward Worf is delivering Keiko's baby ... which is hilarious.

105 down 74 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 105 - Silicon Avatar

"The crew, with the help of a scientist whose son lived on Data's home world, attempt to communicate with the Crystalline Entity. "

I'm not a big fan of the Crystalline Entity. I can't really get into a villain that is ... well a Crystal. Except maybe the villain to all country music Crystal Gayle. Anyway, the Enterprise is close to communicating with the Entity when this scientist lady (distraught over the death of her son at the hands of this entity) destroys the being. She basically presses two buttons on the console and takes total control of the ship. I hate when that happens ... why is it always so easy! "Oh no we have no way to stop her, she locked the computers" Come on now.

104 down 75 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 104 - Ensign Ro

"After an attack on a Federation outpost, Picard is sent to locate a Bajoran terrorist, with the help of Ensign Ro Laren."

This is the first episode with Ro Laren. She is so hot ... and so bitchy ... which is so hot. This was a solid episode. It had a great dynamic between Ro and Picard, as well as an appearance by the Cardassians, whom I do like as a character.

Yet. I could not stop thinking about the first scene of the episode. It has Picard getting a hair cut from a barber. OK. First of all. Picard is bald. Secondly, a barber? Really? I mean, the invented the Flobee in like the 1980's, they can replicate food ... why do the physically need a person to cut hair? Also, Riker comments that he is considered the best barber in Starfleet ... fucking really?!?!?

One more comment. I noticed that many times other alien races give the Enterprise "One Hour" to surrender or whatever. Wouldn't one hour be different for every race. One hour to people from Earth wouldn't be the same amount of time to someone from a different planet.

ST TNG: 103 down 76 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 103 - Darmuk

"Picard must learn to communicate with an alien captain who speaks in metaphors before a dangerous beast kills them both"

This was a very interesting and creative episode. The Enterprise meets up with a new race. The Universal Translator can't understand them.  For some reason the Captain of the ship takes Picard to a planet with him to fight a beast .... I guess the reason for this was for them to bond or something. Picard must understand him in order to survive. The race speaks in metaphor based on their own mythology. There is an awesome scene in which Picard tells the captain the story of Gilgamesh. Excellent acting by the great Paul Winfield and also an appearance by Ashley Judd as an ensign.

ST TNG: 102 down 77 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 102 - Redemption II

SEASON 5

So yes indeed this is the episode in which Tasha Yar's half Romulan daughter from the future comes back to annoy Picard. Also, it literally IS Tasha Yar because they use the same actress. Do I even have to say anymore. I stopped caring about the entire Klingon plot because I couldn't stop obsessing over how ludicrous and pointless this Yar plot twist was.

The only saving grace was the minor plot in which a developer tries to bulldoze a community recreation center and the local breakdancers try to stop it.

ST TNG: 101 down 78 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 101 - Redemption

While it wasn't a bad episode (in fact I found it enjoyable), I would say that this was a weird one to end Season 4 on. It hardly ends with a cliff hanger. Worf leaves Starfleet to join Gowron in order to prevent a Klingon Civil War. He regains his family's honor. ,,,and also there are these two Female Klingon prostitutes that I actually found very sexy. Picard was awesome (as always) in his role as bipartisan negotiator. But, I don't know, it just didn't have that season finale feel to it.

So anyway, I saw this thing on Yahoo ... a list of the greatest TV theme songs of all time. These are my top 5. I think only one made it on that list.

5. Hawaii 5-0
4. F-Troop
3. Night Court
2. Simon and Simon
1. The Fall Guy

ST TNG: 100 down 79 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 100 - In Theory

Data seeks a romantic relationship with a female crew member. This episode was Directed by Patrick Stewart and the reviews on it are generally mixed, but I really enjoyed it. I loved when Data was trying to seek romance tips from various crew members and Riker was like "Just show up to her room naked from the waist down, that's what I do".

Really though, what's wrong with this lady. She is not bad looking, why the hell would she want a relationship with a robot? Maybe just for sex, because obviously she knows Data doesn't have emotions. A great scene is when she is trying to explain that sometimes when she says not to do something, she really means to do it. That shit will even confuse an android

ST TNG: 99 down 80 to go .

Star Trek TNG: Episode 99 - The Mind's Eye

Geordi is brainwashed by the Romulans with the aid of a Klingon traitor. His goal is to assassinate a Klingon Governor in order to prevent the Federation from interfering in a war ... or something. Anyway, this all occurs while Geordi is taking a shuttlecraft ... alone ... through space ... going to Risa for vacation... why would this happen??? He gets abducted by Romulans and brainwashed, they send signals through Geordi's visor in order to give him orders. A Geordi imposter is then sent to Risa. Because most Romulan ships have a black guy on hand for just this occasion.

The Romulans then implant fake memories of his vacation into his mind. Very "Total Recall". LaForge seems normal while back onboard the Enterprise until the brainwashing beam is sent to his visor ... then he turns into Reggie Jackson in Naked Gun. This episode has actor John Fleck in it, who according to his Wikipedia page "also appears in Howard The Duck, Waterworld and the ZZ Top music video Legs" ... what a resume.

I actually enjoyed this episode. Picture "National Lampoons Vacation meets Total Recall meets Naked Gun meets Roots meets Ray Charles meets 2001 A Space Odessey meets Dorf On Golf"

ST TNG: 98 down 81 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 98 - The Host

Its happened so far in every series that I have watched, so it was inevitable...I have hit the Star Trek wall. I'm literally depressed by watching these episodes. I'm sure this episode may have been good, and I know that it's a significant episode for it's effort to bring gender identity into light ... but it just annoyed the shit out of me. I mean just look at this picture...

Fuck this asshole.


ST TNG: 97 down 82 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 97 - Half A Life

As much as I can't stand Lwaxana Troi, this episode wasn't so bad. Sure she is annoying as hell and looks more like a horribly aging Leonard Nimoy than a gracefully aging Majel Barrett ... but the rest of the cast carries this one and I guess she didn't completely suck.

The Enterprise is helping Timicin revive a dying sun using photons. Lwaxana is on the ship and gets her Depends in a bunch over this guy. Unfortunately on his planet once you turn 60 years you have to kill yourself. So he must go home to die. Lwaxana wants him to live, but he bides by his culture and Picard will not interfere. Troi is by his side as he shits the bed.
 

ST TNG: 96 down 83 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 96 - The Drumhead

This episode was directed by Johnathan Frakes. It was pretty good, not great. When a Klingon saboteur is discovered on the ship, it sets in motion a witch hunt. A poor engineer ends up on trial accused of sabotage by a crazed old woman Admiral (who overacts like fucking crazy may I add).

The coolest thing about this episode is the way that the Klingon saboteur transported the stolen data. He used a modified syringe, entered the data into it, the data was then held in cells which were then injected into the body. Exactly how the data gets extracted I have no idea ... but I'm guessing semen.

ST TNG: 95 down 84 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 95 - Qpid

For an episode that makes no sense and is a giant Robin Hood parody, I actually liked it. It was very well done. Although I still don't understand why Q continuously wastes his timer with insignificant things such as playing dress up with Picard and crew.

Q is always fun, so I can't complain too much. But, is it necessary for the all powerful Q to use his magnificance in order to tests Picard's love for some woman. The crazy part is that at the end, after Picard saves her life, she ends up leaving with Q! Now thats a playa.

ST TNG: 94 down 85 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 94 - The Nth Degree

"After an encounter with an alien probe Barclay experiences great leaps in confidence and intelligence."

Finally! Some good pop culture in TNG. The episode begins with Dr. Crusher and Lt. Barclay performing a skit from the movie Roxanne starring Steve Martin and it is .... what? .... Cyrano who? ... Cyrano de Bergerac! Oh hell.

Don't they have Playstation or XBox on this ship.

Remember that episode about that shy Lt. named Barcaly? Yeah I sort of did to. Well, he's back ... for some reason. Now he gets taken over by a super smart being and becomes, well .. super smart. At least this episode had some good guest stars, including Albert Einstein, the daughter of Gen. Bernard Trainer, some guy that was in The Last Star Fighter and the dude that did the voice of Captain Planet .... the power is yours!

ST TNG: 93 down 86 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 93 - Identity Crisis

"Geordi transforms into an alien creature with strong instinct to return to its planet of origin."

The concept for this one is pretty interesting, but I'm just a bit Geordi'd out right now. Again we have to watch as he is "just friends" with another woman. Him and the lady are the only two members left from a 5-man away mission back when he served on the Victory. The other three have gone crazy or something. I don't know. What has happened is that they a have been infected by alien hosts. These hosts are changing their DNA and turning them into ... aliens.

There is a scene in which Geordi reenacts the away mission on the holodeck. He tries to figure out what happened that day. One by one he has the computer eliminate each person until there is only him and um the camera man?? left (I'll get to that). He notices there are three shadows on the wall, even though there are only two people. I must say, this actually freaked me out for some reason.

OK, now this is sort of stupid. Evidently away missions have a camera man. Like seriously, they have a guy that follows the team around and films??? I get that they would want to document everything but they haven't figured out a better way? It's depressing to know that even in the future we will still have reality tv.

Oh, and this episode has a guest spot from the then current Miss Universe, she plays an ensign.

ST TNG: 92 down 87 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 92 - Night Terrors

Can take or leave it. The Enterprise discover a Betazoid ship in which everyone has killed themselves/each other. Except for one guy who is in a catatonic state. Soon everyone on the Enterprise is getting irritated with each other ... turns out this is do some kind of sleep deprivation being caused by god knows what. Not a great episode. Deanna Troi's dream sequences are so badly directed with terrible special effects. The effects in that silent film of a giant moon face, in which a rocket hits it's eyeball. Whatever. And also this episode has Brian Tochi in it.

ST TNG: 91 down 88 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 91 - Galaxy's Child

Geordi is the saddest most pathetic loser ever. So yes, he's basically one of us. He has absolutely no luck with chicks. In this episode he gets to finally meet his longtime crush Dr. Leah Brahms ... only to find out that she is a huge bitch. Nonetheless Geordi still tries to get with her, so he is overly nice  and even invites her to a romantic dinner. Only to be ignored. Then he finally gets up the courage to profess his feelings to her ... only to find out that she's married. In the end, they become "just friends". Sound familiar?

ST TNG: 90 down 89 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 90 - First Contact

This was a great episode. It showed how Starfleet handles their first contact with other life forms. They monitor space for worlds that are on the verge of warp technology, then they send down a recon team that watches them for several years ... when the time is right, they introduce themselves. In this case, Riker is injured and while at the hospital, they realize that he is not one of them. Why was Riker even on this mission?? They have nobody else that is capable of observing? The best scene is when an alien chick offers to help Riker escape if he has sex with her. That's one lucky ... woman. What??

ST TNG: 89 down 90 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 89 - Clues

I really liked this episode. While passing by a planet the crew becomes unconscious for 30 seconds. All except Data that is. But one by one little clues keep popping up that at least 24 hours has passed, not 30 seconds. Data's explanation of the event doesn't make sense, it seems that he is actually lying.

Well, Data is indeed lying. But he has logical reason for it. The planet that they passed by earlier does not wish to be located, so they basically erase the memories of anybody that passes by. Data was aware the entire time and chose not to reveal the truth about this alien race, for security reasons. But, Picard and crew can't keep well enough alone and go back to this planet. Now this race known as the Paxons threaten to destroy the Enterprise in order to keep their location a secret. Picard offers up his crew to yet again have their minds erased.

Then he finds out that one of the Paxtons was in the movie Boxing Helena

ST TNG: 88 down 91 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 88 - The Devil's Due

The Devil's Due ... more like The Devil's Poo. So the episode begins with Data dressed as Ebeneezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol, I would have liked it better if it was Uncle Scrooge from Ducktails but whatever. I have given up on complaining about the constant pre-1930 references on Star Trek ... I get why they do it. But come on, nothing relevant was done in 60s, 70's or 80s?? Why not reference Cannonball Run? Or Disco Duck? Or the book American Psycho? Or Taco? Or Poco? Or Toto?

Anyway. This episode is a complete TOS throwback. No wonder, it's based on a Phase II script from 1977. There is a planet that is about to go through Armageddon, it seems as though at some point they had collectively sold their soul to the devil. Now SHE is back to collect. Yes, it's a woman and she's sort of hot. She has the ability to cause earthquakes and turn into any "devil" form that she wants .... including the most ridiculous looking Klingon devil of all time. Also she could have easily gone with a more fearsome looking Satan, maybe one with a more Biblical look to it. But no, she goes with the "Halloween costume purchased from CVS" Satan. Why would the devil honestly need a cape? Actually why would anyone need a cape? Is there a functional purpose to a cape, or is it just fashion? Either way, Satan doesn't need one.

For some reason the devil agrees to have a trial with Picard over this situation. Picard proves that she is just a regular person that is using technology to trick everybody. So dumb.

Hopefully I can watch some more TNG this weekend, if I don't die from shoveling 2.5 feet of snow.

ST TNG: 87 down 92 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 87 - The Loss

OK so this is actually episode 85, I forgot to write about it. The episode is about Troi losing her powers and boy did it suck. Troi is good to look at, but I hate episodes based on her. This episode should have been called "The Fall of Troi". There should also be an episode called ... "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Worf". Also, "Pic-a-card any Card", "Data's of the Lost Arc", "Rikers on Bikers" ... ??

ST TNG: 86 down 93 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 86 - The Wounded

The Wounded is about a rogue Starfleet captain named Maxwell that is bent on getting even with the Cardassians for killing his family. This is the first appearance of The Cardassians in the series (although I didn't see Bruce Jenner anywhere) and also the first to really have Miles O'Brien as the focal point of an episode. Now let me just say that I hate the character of Miles O'Brien, but I think Colm Meaney is an excellent actor (just see Hell on Wheels ... where he literally is a Big Meaney). Obviously someone recognized his talent and thought that the seemingly insignificant Miles O'Brien should take a step forward, that's a credit Colm Meaney.

That being said, does Miles O'Brien really have to be THAT Irish?? In the beginning of the episode Miles and Keiko are eating dinner. Miles seems surprised the she eats Japanese food and she seems disgusted at his Irish cuisine. .....Do you people even know each other at all?? You just got married!! I was waiting for Miles to say ... "wait, are you meaning to tell me that your Asian??"

Anyway. He's TOO Irish and she is TOO Japanese. In the future will Irish people still be stereotypes, eat peasant food and sing 1700's shanties?? Will Japanese people wear Kimonos and decorate their rooms like its feudal Japan?? Why bother eating traditional foods in the future? I've seen a bagel dog ... literally a hot dog wrapped in a bagel. Imagine what the future beholds.

ST TNG: 85 down 94 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 85 - Data's Day

This episode is basically a day in the life of Data, and it is awesome. Awesome because it's Data. Brent Spiner once again shows why he is the best actor since Bill Clinton. There are a few plots going on here.

1. Keiko and Miles are supposed to get married but she calls it off. No wonder too. She's actually cute and he looks like ... well a hideous Irish guy. 
2. Data is learning to dance for the wedding, Crusher teaches him to tap dance. Really? I highly doubt people will tap dance in the future.
3. A Vulcan ambassador is kidnapped by Romulans ...
4. and then some broad has a baby.

ST TNG: 84 down 95 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 84 - Final Mission

"Wesley sets off on his final mission with the Enterprise accompanied by Picard, but they become stranded on a desert planet."

I'm not sad to see Wesley go, but I'm not happy either. I always assumed I hated this character, but going back and re-watching these made me realize that he really did add a different dynamic to the crew. That's not to say that the Wesley themed episodes were good, because usually they were not ... and this is no exception. It was just ok. Although I do think that Wil Wheaton did a fine job in this one, as did the go-to rogue pilot actor Nick Tate.

ST TNG: 83 down 96 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 83 - Future Imperfect

Very clever, very clever indeed. Bravo. Bravo I say. .... whatever. Many twists and turns in this one. So Riker, Worf and Jordi are on this planet ... Worf and Jordi beam back up. But, Riker disappears. Next thing you know he snaps out of his amnesia 16 years later on the Enterprise. He has a son, his wife Min is dead. Come to find out, that this is all a Romulan holodeck trick to get Riker to give up Federation secrets ... or is it??? Read the book!! After a strong start, these past few epsisodes have really sucked. Now back to watching Breaking Bad.

ST TNG: 82 down 97 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 82 - Reunion

Ahh yes, the Worf baby daddy episode. It seems that Worf had knocked up his ex-girlfriend and split (how typical ... Klingon) ... now she's back with a little creepy surprise. Alexander. The grossest thing i've ever seen (since the movie "87 and still Bangin" that is). Why must all Klingons have the hair stylings of Vincent Schiavelli? This episode was actually really good. It had some good Klingon drama and brawling. After Worf's nemesis kills his GF, Worf retaliates and attacks the bastard...lol Riker walks in just as Work has his blade raised for the death blow...wtf. I was 100% sure that he was going to stop an inch from his face or something ... but no, he kills the son of a bitch. Worf then ships his kid off to live with his parents....lmfao.


ST TNG: 81 down 98 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 81 - Legacy

With episode 80, TNG had officially passed the TOS series run of 79. Next Gen writers paid homage to TOS with a mention of the planet Camus, which had been the planet from Turnabout Intruder. Also, they created a rather boring episode. I'm tired of hearing about Tasha Yar, and I'm tired of episodes with planets in some kind of civil war. This episode has Tasha Yar's sister ... who I swore was Linda Hamilton. But it was Beth Troissant. She also looks like an 80's female standup comic. I'm assuming that Data also has sex with her.

This episode the classic 7th Heaven actor Christopher Michael in it .... not to be confused with my dad's band from the 70's The Christopher Michael Band (no joke, this is the real deal)

ST TNG: 80 down 99 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 80 - Remember Me

Bev Crusher gets stuck in an alternate universe ... that starts collapsing on itself. Pretty interesting I guess. It all starts when Wesley is doing some kind of force field experiment or something. Jordi keeps ordering him to stop because the ship can't move until he's done ... yet he keeps yelling at Jordi. Weird way to treat a superior officer. Anyway, Dr. Crusher gets stuck in this field bubble and sent on to an alternate Enterprise were everything is slightly different. Bev thinks that there is something wrong with the ship ... but eventually realizes that there is something wrong with her. This episode is very Twilight Zone

Then ... The Traveler shows up and fixes everything. He is played by Brookline MA's own Eric Menyuk, for all of you who don't know who he is .... check out this awesome resume...

Matlock as Al White /(3 episodes, 1987–1994)
Melrose Place as Physician (1 episode, 1993)
Married... with Children as Black Bob /(2 episodes, 1990–1993)
Night Court as Pizza Guy (1 episode, 1991)
Jake and the Fatman (2 episodes, 1990)
thirtysomething as Man #4 (1 episode, 1990)
Falcon Crest as Dr. Peters (1 episode, 1989)
L.A. Law as Roland Burnet (2 episodes, 1987–1989)
Cheers as Larry the Mailman (1 episode, 1988)
Hill Street Blues as Carney (1 episode, 1987)

umm. yeah

ST TNG: 79 down 100 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 79 - Suddenly Human

Blah. Can't win them all I guess. At least Chad Allen was good in it. He plays this kid Jono that is a human with Talarian parents. Picard thinks he may have basically been kidnapped and tries to get the boy to go back to Earth. The only good thing about this one was that Jono actually ends up staying with the Talarians and not going back to Earth  .......  and he also stabs Picard in the neck. Not a bad twist.

Also, Chad Allen is gay and was in the show My Two Dads ... ironic?

ST TNG: 78 down 101 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 78 - Brothers

Yet another great Brent Spiner performance. (By the way, that last episode "Family" is the only TNG episode that does not contain Data). The episode starts off with two young brothers, the older one plays a trick on the other and nearly kills him. As Data is bringing the elder brother back to his quarters ... Data stars acting very strange. Next thing you know, Data hijacks the Enterprise. This entire sequence is just awesome as Data trumps every possible move to thwart his take-over.

I totally forgot about this one, so I was wondering the entire time ... what the hell is Data up to! He ends up beaming down to a planet were he is greeted by his father, Noonien Soong. He has been called home in order to get an "emotional chip" installed. Unfortunately Lore shows up and ruins everything.

Here's the thing with Data. He doesn't need an emotional chip. In fact, he already seems to have emotions. Sure he can't love and cry but is he not the most compassionate crew member?? He seems to care more about other people than most humans would.

ST TNG: 77 down 102 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 77 - Family

"While the Enterprise is going under repairs at Earth, Captain Picard visits his brother's family in France, Lt. Worf's adoptive human parents come to see him aboard the ship and Dr. Crusher gives her son Wesley a personal holo-recording left by his late father shortly after the boy's birth."

So I completely expected to hate this episode, but damn it was really good. It has nothing to do with Star Trek and everything to do with a cheap Lifetime movie. Yet, it was so well done and the acting was wonderful. It's basically about Picard, Worf and Dr. Crusher dealing with family issues. Trust me though, it was watchable. In one scene Picard and his brother mud wrestle and then hug. I nearly vomited.

ST TNG: 76 down 103 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 76 - The Best of Both Worlds II

Season 4 begins. The Best of Both Worlds part II. I can't get the Hannah Montana theme song out of my head.

Although this episode was pretty awesome, I have a huge gripe about how easily the Borg had been defeated. I mean they just basically beam aboard the ship and take back Picard without any trouble. Then they issue a command that in essence causes the Borg ship to destroy itself. Then they somehow turn Picard back to a full human. All within the last half hour. Too easy.

ST TNG: 75 down 104 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 75 - The Best of Both Worlds

Season three certainly ends with a bang. Or shall I say with a Borg. That joke didn't work at all. This two part episode has to be one of the greatest in Star Trek history. It basically starts with the Enterprise finding a decimated outpost, Picard realizes that only group can achieve this type destruction....the white man. They soon encounter the Borg rubix cube.

At first they manage to evade the Borg but soon they are overtaken by the Borg and trapped in a tractor beam, also by the Borg.  For some reason they have a Borg expert on the ship named Shelby, she is cute but adds nothing to this episode. Just to be clear ... she is not a Borg. Not only that, it was only a season ago in which Q transports the Enterprise a million light years away and introduces them to the Borg. How the hell do they suddenly have an expert?? A Borg expert that

Regardless ... the Borg kidnap Picard. Riker takes command of the ship and sends an away team onto the Borg cube. They don't locate Picard but they do manage to sabotage the Borg ship. As they return back to the Enterprise they see Picard on the view screen ... he is now a Borg. Named Locutus. Locutus of Borg. (How un-tough is that name???) And how annoyed are you by the word "Borg".

ST TNG: 74 down 105 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 74 - Transfigurations

Not much too say on this one. It was good I guess. The plot involves a traveler with amnesia that they name John Doe, he has great powers and they find out he is also an escaped convict. He kills Worf ... and the brings him back to life. If all of this sounds familiar, well that is because it is about 5 different former Star Trek plots rolled into one. It touches upon the idea of the next step in human evolution, a super intelligent energy form. How fucking boring of a life is that. Anyway, John Doe was played by longtime All My Children vet Mark LaMura.

ST TNG: 73 down 106 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 73 - Ménage à Troi

Although it is my favorite pun, this episode as a whole is just down right asinine. First of all, would a Ferengi really be that horny for a Betazoid that he would go waaaaayyyy out of his way to capture her. Not only that, but when he kidnaps Lwaxana ... why does he also take Riker and Deanna?

I was mostly creeped out and disgusted by this episode. At one point Damon Tog has a nude Lwaxana and Deanna standing before him, and it was not even hot ... just nasty. Then Lwaxana apparently has sex with him. And in the end she chooses to stay with him. WHY?! It makes no sense!! None of this makes sense!!

ST TNG: 72 down 107 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 72 - Sarek

"The highly regarded, but elderly, Ambassador Sarek is ferried by the Enterprise on his final mission for the Federation. While aboard ship, the crew experiences an outbreak of irrational anger amongst themselves."

Mark Lenard is amazing. He's been playing Sarek since 1967 and he is awesome every single time. In this one, Sarek is suffering from a Vulcan disease in which his emotions are so pent up that they project onto other people. Yeah...it's stupid. Anyway, it is affecting the entire crew so a solution is devised in which a host must mind-meld with Sarek and all of his negative emotions will be transferred into this poor soul. So obviously they would have some Yeoman do it right? No, they have the fucking captain of the Starship do it. Does that at all make sense? Anyway, good episode.

ST TNG: 71 down 108 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 71 - The Most Toys

Damn, this actor Saul Rubinek is just so freakin' over the top in this episode. His wacky, manic, over acting style would fit so perfectly in a TOS episode. It was nice to see this kind of character for a change.

Basically in this one, there is this traveler named Fajo and he goes around space collecting rare items. He even has a Roger Maris rookie card, which I guess is rare in the future. Why Maris and not Ruth or Williams .... or the mighty midget Kirby Puckett? So, this Fajo guy decides to collect Data. Then he starts acting verrrryyyy gay. Even suggesting that Data walk around naked. So weird and so entertaining.

Factoid via Wikipedia "David Rappaport, a well-known British dwarf actor, had originally been cast for the part of Kivas Fajo. Rappaport struggled with depression in his life, and committed suicide on 2 May 1990, shortly after having filmed some scenes as Fajo. Saul Rubinek was then asked to take over the role, but some early production photographs show Rappaport in the role."

ST TNG: 70 down 109 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 70 - Hollow Pursuits

"In this episode, the Holodeck fantasy life of a crewman aboard the Federation Starfleet starship USS Enterprise-D interferes with his ability to deal with malfunctions which threaten the ship."

Great friggin episode. Dwight Shultz was amazing as the social inept Lt. Barclay. You may remember Shultz as Murdock on the A-Team. Or as guest radio host to Michael Savage??? Anyway, he was good.

Lt. Barclay is beyond socially awkward, he's a complete human travesty. The only time he can socialize is in the holodeck. Where of all things he recreates the Three Musketeers. You can literally create ANYTHING ... I mean ANYTHING. Hmm, yeah, the Three Musketeers. Seriously?

Of course the episode must have the trusty, "Enterprise is going to explode in five minutes" scene. Guess who saves the day?? Pretty obvious. My absolute favorite part about this episode is that in the end Lt. Barclay does not change. He is still a miserable and pathetic, social disaster. Yes, he is indeed a Trekkie.

ST TNG: 69 down 110 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 69 - Tin Man

"A gifted telepath whom Deanna Troi once treated as a patient comes aboard to establish first contact with an unknown vessel near an unstable star before the Romulans do."

Not much to say about this one, it was alright i guess. There's this big to-do about this ship, for seemingly no reason ... I mean the ship itself is sentient which is cool. But really, who cares. And this telepath guy was a patient of Troi. Not just a patient, but an actual mental patient. Like he's totally insane. So yeah, let's let him work with Starfleet on this project. The guy ends up bonding with the alien ship and decides to stay on it. It just all seemed so ridiculous.

ST TNG: 68 down 111 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 68 - Captain's Holiday

"Picard is convinced to take some much needed shore leave, but gets wrapped up in a woman's treasure hunt."

Not many episodes in this season are shit, but this one is pretty close. It doesn't introduce Vash who is pretty hot and also Sovak (same actor plays Rom, Quark's brother) ... who is pretty hot. Why not just make Quarks brother Sovak? Whatever. Anyway  how uncomfortable is it to see Picard in romance scenes? Seriously, I cringed throughout the entire episode. And what the hell was going on anyway? Picard is forced to take a vacation on seemingly the only fun planet in the galaxy, Risa. Aliens from the future are looking for some device and the Ferengi hire this woman to find it ... for some reason ... and then she turns on them. Also I swear they kept hinting that she banged the Ferengi. At least she was cute.

ST TNG: 67 down 112 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 67 - Allegiance

"Aliens kidnap Picard and replace him with a duplicate, who sends the Enterprise to a pulsar. Meanwhile, the real Picard and three other captives try to escape from their prison."

Not the most creative, but I was mildly entertained. But, really, would an alien race go out of its way to abduct random species from throughout the galaxy just to observe them? Not only that but observe them sitting in a room doing absolutely nothing?? It seems so over the top.

I did like the doppelganger Picard. It was fun to watch him try to act like the Captain, but really had no idea what the hell he was doing. In the end both Picards appear on the bridge and I was just waiting for the classic scene ... "he's the imposter! No, he's the imposter! ... which one is the real Picard"

ST TNG: 66 down 113 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 66 - Sins of the Father

"Worf goes on trial to prove his father's innocence after the Klingon High Council declares that Worf's father is a traitor, and worked with the Romulans all along. "

This is one of the most loved TNG episodes, rated number 7 in Entertainement Weekly's TNG top 10. And, I didn't like it. It was boring. I usually like the Klingons, but they were just irritating in this one. The only good thing about it was the solid performance from Tony Todd ... who's been in tons of good movies, like Candyman, Wishmaster and Beastmaster III.

ST TNG: 65 down 114 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 65 - The Offspring

"The android Data creates a "child" of his own named Lal and tries to raise her, while Picard takes on StarFleet research to keep them from taking her away."

If "Yesterday's Enterprise" was brilliant, then this episode is beyond brilliant. The Offspring is wonderfully writen episode that was directed by Jonathan Frakes. Also, I was insanely attracted to Lal.

In addition to this, The Offspring was a popular 90's California punk band with such hits as Self Esteem and Come Out and Play.

ST TNG: 64 down 115 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 64 - Yesterday's Enterprise

"In the plot, the crew of the USS Enterprise-D must decide whether to send the time-travelling Enterprise-C back through a temporal rift to its certain destruction in order to protect the timeline."

This episode was so good that I can't even find a joke for it, or a reason to trash. Except maybe the addition of Tasha Yar was interesting but unnecesary. Picard decides to send the Enterprise back to it's proper time to be destroyed, thus creating peace. Or something. The thing is, are you telling me that every single person on the Enterprise o'the Past was cool with going back to their inevidetable death? Really?

ST TNG: 63 down 116 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 63 - A Matter of Perspective

"Riker is accused of murder, and the holodeck is used to reconstruct the events from different perspectives. "

I thought this episode was going to suck. It's just such a typical plot. But you know ... it was good. Riker was accused of murdering this woman's husband after being caught in a compromising situation with her ... also he's accused of rape??? The ending is pretty obvious, he gets off ... then after that he gets acquitted. Get it??!?! Whatever. This episode has the lovely Gina Hecht in it, she was in two of my favorite movies, "Night Shift" and "St. Elmos' Fire". They should have an episode in which Riker and Picard open a whore house in a morgue.

ST TNG: 62 down 117 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 62 - Deja Q

This may be my favorite Q episode. Q loses his powers and decides to live as a human on the Enterprise. It's great to see Q trying to figure out the intricacies of being human. I assume he never took a crap before and that kind of stuff. Also Guinan stabs him with a fork. ALSO Corbin Bernsen is in this episode. ALLLSSOOOO .... that's all i got.

Random Fact (per Wikipedia): "Corbin Bernsen has one of the biggest snow globe collections in the world, with almost 7,000 snowglobes"

ST TNG: 61 down 118 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 61 - The High Ground

"Dr. Crusher taken hostage by terrorists who hope Federation involvement will help them win concessions for their cause."

Not a bad depiction of terrorism. Though, I'm getting tired of these episodes in which a "good looking" rogue catches the attention of a female crew member. Dr. Crusher is very good in this episode as the hostage that refuses to talk. The cool thing about this episode is that it was banned in Ireland or something. This is because Data mentions that Ireland eventually unites after a very successful terrorist campaign. What a weird stance for the Star Trek creatures to take???

ST TNG: 60 down 119 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 60 - The Hunted

Damn, every episode really is named The "something". An interesting plot in this one. This government created these super soldiers, they had previously been regular people but have since been modified. When not using them for war purposes, they keep them in prison for safe keeping ... i guess. Long story short, they all escape and attack the government. Picard does a very Kirk like move and just lets it happen. Not his problem. I'm not sure I buy that this actor playing Roga Danar is tough ... he looks like a soap star. Hmm just looked him up, evidently he was on a CBS show called Love Monkey.

ST TNG: 59 down 120 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 59 - The Defector

"A Romulan defector demands asylum aboard the Enterprise with vital information about a possible Romulan invasion."

The episode starts out on the holodeck with a very well done segment of Henry V, featuring Data and a disguised Patrick Stewart. I'm just not sure that Shakespeare is going to be this relevant to daily life on a fucking Starship. The series just never lets it go!! Overall this episode is great and the acting is exceptional.

There is a Romulan defector with vital information on a Romulan invasion. He doesn't want to see this kind of pointless destruction so he warns the Federation. Unfortunately he was purposely fed false info in order to lure the Enterprise into a trap (a trap that is foiled by a surprise ally). You can't help but feel bad for the Romulan defector, he was just a lackey. He can't go home to Romulan because he was proven to be a traitor. Anyway ... he kills himself.

ST TNG: 58 down 121 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 58 - The Vengence Factor

"Riker exposes an assassin in the midst of critical peace talks...then he exposes his genitals"

Cool, but complicated. It was like a three hour movie squeezed into 47 minutes. Lots of good mystery, science and it has a hot chick. All I have to say is that the episode has both the cute girl from Nightmare on Elm Street 4 and 5 (by the way she's still hot at 48) and it also has the ugly girl from Porky's! How could it go wrong? Also it was directed by Bond ... Timothy Bond ... whoever the fuck that is.

ST TNG: 57 down 122 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 57 - The Price

"Several groups, including the Federation, bid for rights to manage the entrance to a wormhole near a resource-poor planet."

This was a really good episode. The writting was excellent and they managed to work a bunch of plots successfully into one interesting episode. I love wormhole stuff anyway, so I was able to pay attention for nearly the entire forty something minutes. A great scene is when Data and Geordi are sent into the wormhole to investigate the stability, they are an excellent duo and sort of remind me of Balki and Cousin Larry. The side plot involves Troi having a steamy affair with the Negotiator (played by Sgt. Lassard from Police Academy). Also the Ferengi are heavily involved in this one, which is always fun. There are a slew of great guest actors as well, including Sgt Copeland from Police Academy (yes TWO people from Police Academy) and the dude that played Predator.

I had a real good opportunity to watch a bunch of TNG episodes this weekend ... but didn't. Instead I watched the entire first season of Hell on Wheels. Which was awesome! I like westerns anyway, but this one is so well written and acted. Most noteably the rapper Common is great and the wonderful Colm Meaney is just amazing. He played such a bit part on the majority of TNG (until the last few seasons), it's crazy to see what an awesome actor he is. Although he does always play the same part, obnoxious Irish guy.

ST TNG: 56 down 123 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 56 - The Enemy

This is a great episode. Geordi ends up trapped on a planet with a Romulan and they must work together in order to stay alive. Meanwhile on the Enterprise Dr. Crusher is trying to save another Romulan that is dying, the only way is through a transfusion from Worf. And Worf is like 'fuck that'. So the dude dies. A Romulan Warbird approaches and is ready for a fight, but Picard is finally able to beam up Geordi and the Romulan (who explains that Geordi has saved his life). The End.

ST TNG: 55 down 124 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 55 - Booby Trap

Oh the endless juvenile jokes I could make. But really, why do they use the term 'booby' trap??

This plot seems to have been used a zillion times. "In this episode, the Federation Starship USS Enterprise discovers a derelict centuries-old alien battlecruiser and becomes trapped with it."

At least it has some interesting science in it, as well as the original blueprints to the Enterprise. In order to save their asses Geordi seeks the help of the blueprints creator Dr. Leah Brahms (via the holodeck). She's cute. Also, Picard navigates the ship. See, there's some cool stuff here.

Why even bother having crew members waste their time with problem solving. It seems like the computer + Data = every problem solved.

ST TNG: 54 down 125 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 54 - The Bonding

In this episode, a crewmember of the Federation Starfleet starship USS Enterprise is killed in a tragic accident, leaving behind a young son who must deal with her death.

 Well made and acted. It shows a softer side to Worf, he feels bad for this kid and makes him his brother ... in some weird Klingon way. Also, the episode explores Wesley's feelings over the death of his father.

But really though, this little kid has a shit life. His parents are both dead and the compensation for this is that he gets to live with a hideous Klingon. Sounds fucking fantastic.

ST TNG: 53 down 126 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 53 - Who Watches the Watchers

I honestly feel that this episode is a turning point in TNG. Visualy it just seemed far better than all previous episodes and the actors seemed so much more comfortable in their roles. I dunno, maybe i'm wrong, maybe the next episode will suck ... or maybe I was just actually in a decent mood for once. We'll see.

The plot made no sense as usual. The Enterprise are visiting a secret outpost on a bronze-age planet. The outpost is hidden behind a hologram of a mountain. The scientists are there to observe this primitive culture. ..... why?? Seems like an absolute waste of time and money. Also, it borders on violating the Prime Directive.

The hologram fails, so Riker and crew beam down to assist. Too late. The inhabitants see the outpost and one of them falls off the mountain. Bev beams him up to sick bay for treatment. After saving him, they "erase his mind" and beam him back down. But it doesn't work! He now tells everyone that he was saved by a God named The Picard. Riker and Troi go down to the planet in disguise, but are soon found out and captured. What a total fucking mess!

Picard has to beam down and prove he is mortal and he does this by making someone shoot him. Then all is explained to these primative people .... which I'm sure totally fucks them up. Although I guess if Aliens visited the Native Americans or something, I guess no harm was done.

Also, the daughter of the injured planet dweller was pretty cute. I looked her up and her name is Pamela Segall .... and she is the voice of fucking Bobby Hill from King of the Hill???????

ST TNG: 52 down 127 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 52 - The Survivors

The Survivors is a decent episode, it's certainly no Surviving the Game. My favorite movie about hunting hobos. This one is a throwback to TOS. Meaning, it's a plot in which the old show did numerous times. You see, an immortal energy being ends up on this planet and falls in love with a humanoid. When everyone on the planet is killed by the Husnok he recreates the woman that he loved. The twist is that this being is pissed off at the Husnok that he kills them all .... 50 billion of them! Picard doesn't feel that he should judge, so he just lets the being be. How very Switzerland.

ST TNG: 51 down 128 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 51 - The Ensigns of Command

"Data must persuade a stubborn colony to evacuate their homeland under threat of a powerful and mysterious race."

A band of survivors from a crashed colony ship are being evacuated by the Shelians. They are giving the Enterprise three days or something to get 15,000 people off their planet. Also the transporter is broken! Picard must play shrewd diplomat with these bastards.

Also, Data is the only one that can beam down to the planet because of radiation. He tries to convince these idiots on the planet to go willingly, but the leader is a shithead. Some woman falls in love with Data ... but Data is incapable of returning any feelings. So why bother making Data fully functional if he never wants to have sex? He's such a woman.

ST TNG: 50 down 129 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 50 - Evolution

"In this episode, escaped nanites threaten the Federation Starfleet starship USS Enterprise as well as its critical research mission."

Finally, Bev Crusher is back! Good riddence to that decrepit scarecrow Pulaski. While season two ended with a huge thud, season three starts off with only a slight thud. I sort of liked this one. Wesley's science experiment gets out of control when a a shitload of nano sixed beings escape. Data is finally able to establish contact with the creatures and work everything out. But anyway, good riddence once again to that human boglin Doctor Pulaski.

ST TNG: 49 down 129 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 49 - Shades of Grey

"The tension between Riker and Deanna eventually comes to a head after Deanna asks Riker to punish her in order to show her how extreme a BDSM relationship with him could be. Riker fulfills Deanna's request, beating her with a belt, only for Deanna to realize that the two of them are incompatible as they currently stand. Devastated, Deanna leaves Riker and returns to the apartment she shares with Neil Sedaka."

Also Riker gets a cut on his leg and ends up in an all clip episode of TNG.

ST TNG: 48 down 130 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 48 - Peak Performance

"The Enterprise and USS Hathaway face off in simulated combat maneuvers. Data fails to beat a humanoid at a game of Strategema and experiences feelings of self-doubt."

Picard brings Sirma onboard in order to asses the crews tactical skills. He is the best tactical person ever or something. Riker brings a rag tag crew of Worf, LaForge and Wesley on to the Hathaway in order to do "battle" with Picard and the Enterprise. Riker has zero chance of winning, but uses some clever trickery. Then the Ferengi show up and attack the Enterprise. Yeah, that's about it. The guy that played Sirma was really good. I looked it up and his name is Roy Brocksmith and he's been in a ton of 80's/90's movies.

ST TNG: 47 down 131 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 47 - The Emissary

'The Enterprise is sent a special emissary to help them deal with a three-quarter century-old waking-Klingon sleeper-ship."

They are already tiring out these "old flame" episodes. I think everybody has had one so far ... except Geordi. But, he's blind so his love interest could easily be a man pretending to be female, he wouldn't even know. Anyway, it was sort of odd to see Worf in love. Though they did make the female Klingon some what attractive. The episode had a few subtle guest stars, Deidrich Bader, the lady that played Lisa in Mad About You (the show that I personally hate more than anything else on this planet) and Col. Decker from the A-Team

ST TNG: 46 down 132 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 46 - Manhunt

"The Enterprise must transport delegates to a conference, one of whom is an extremely mate-hungry Lwaxana Troi with eyes for Picard."

This episode was stupid but kind of funny. Lwaxana is looking for a man and wants Picard ... so naturally he hides in the holodeck the entire time. What a buzzkill. Why not just get laid already. Then she sets her sites on Riker, he actually seems tempted too. Majel Barret looks pretty good actually. Also Mick Fleetwood plays a giant fish.

ST TNG: 45 down 133 to go

Star Trek TNG: Episode 45 - Up the Long Ladder

"The Enterprise becomes involved in two previously unknown Earth colonies' struggle for survival."
What a weird episode. These two Earth colonies all come from the decendants of the cargo ship SS Mimosa?? something like that. They split into two groups, one is a stuck up race full of clones and the other .... Irish people from the 18th century?? Why would this ever happen? I really do not have a clue. Anyway, the cloning race is all fucked up do to a screwy gene pool, so they trick Riker and Palaski into beaming down so they could steal their DNA. Riker falls in love with a sexy Irish woman, which judging by the looks of the Kennedy females, I would say this is a rarity. In the end, Pulaski convinces the two groups to put aside their difference and have lots of sex.

ST TNG: 44 down 134 to go